Knock Knock!

Husband desides to rearrange the bedroom while the wife goes shopping, so the wife tells husband not to look in the shoe box on top of the wardrobe & husband promises not to.
Well husband is moving the wardrobe & the shoe box falls spilling the contents which is three eggs & $3,500.
Wife comes home & husband tells of the innocent accident & wife forgives him. So husband asks what are the three eggs & wife replies every time she has had an affair she would put an egg in the shoe box.
Husband thinks three affairs in twenty five years isn't bad as he has strayed himself.
So he asks what the $3,500 is about & the wife replies every time she got a dozen eggs she would sell them.
Thanks from Dave

Kevin is hitch-hiking around New Zealand and thumbs a lift from a passing truck. While they're driving through the countryside the truckie spots a sheep, it's head stuck in a fence, stuggling to free itself. He pulls over the rig, climbs out and just before walking back says to his passenger "I'll just be a minute, I hope you don't mind".
"Of course not" said Kevin, touched by the kindness the driver was showing for the distressed animal. After 10 minutes Kevin was geting a bit concerned, perhaps he should have offered to help right from the start. So Kevin wanders back to assist only to find the driver having his wicked way with the prone sheep.
Somewhat embaressed the driver stopped, and as an afterthought asked Kevin if he wanted a turn.
"Well" thinking Kevin to himself "I've never tried it before and it does look like fun".
So Kevin says "ok, I'm game",
And sticks his head through the fence.

Okay TPP,
Who's there,

Why NZ race horses so fast they see what they do to the sheep

Why don't you walk in the jungle between midnight & 6am? Elephants hide in jungle trees at night & might fall on you

Why do elephants paint their rocks red? To hide in apple trees after dark.

Why are crocodiles long & flat? They went walking in the jungle between midnight & 6am.

How did Tarzan die? He went picking apples after dark

What is the red & black stuff between elephants toes? Slow pygmies.

TPP: Knock Knock
Dave, Who's there,
Myth,
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A philosophy professor walks in to give his class their final. Placing his chair on his desk the professor instructs the class, "Using every applicable thing you've learned in this course, prove to me that this chair DOES NOT EXIST."

So, pencils are writing and erasers are erasing, students are preparing to embark on novels proving that this chair doesn't exist, except for one student. Col spends a few seconds writing his answer, then turns his final in to the astonishment of his peers.

Time goes by, and the day comes when all the students get their final grades ... and to everyone’s amazement, Col gets the highest grade in the class.

His answer to the question: "What chair?"