G'Day.
Paddy's bragging to Mick how he has been having this midget nun & Mick's saying how he didn't believe Paddy so they decided to go to the convent & ask Mother-Superior if there were any midget nuns.
Well they knocked on the door & asked to see Mother-Superior & upon seeing her Paddy asks if there were any midget nuns & Mother-Superior informs them there is not.
Well as Paddy & Mick were leaving Mick taps Paddy on the shoulder & says Paddy, You've been doing a penguin.
Why is Tassie getting closer to the mainland? It just proves Tassie sucks.
Have a good life from Dave

The children began to identify the flavors by their color:
Red.....................Cherry
Yellow............... Lemon
Green..................Lime
Orange ..........Orange
Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers.

None of the children could identify the taste.
The teacher said, 'I will give you all a clue. It's what your

mother may sometimes call your father.'
One little girl looked up in horror, spat her lifesaver out and yelled, '



Oh my God! They're ass-holes!

The teacher had to leave the room!

Dave goes into an icecream shop that serves every known flavour.
Dave casts his eyes across the flavours & notices that there is a c/nt flavoured icecream.
Dave orders a double c/nt flavoured icecream & upon getting it takes a big lick & says in disgust that it tastes like shite.
The owner quickly replies that I took to big of a lick.
Thanks have a great life from Dave

These are riddles actually:

-Why is the letter 't' like an island?

-If I tell you I have four eyes, two heads and three legs, what am I?

-What starts with 'p' ends with 'e' and has millions of letters?

Mr Brown goes to the doctor to see about his wife's blood test.
The doctor tells him 2 Mrs Browns had a blood test & they got the results mixed up.
Mr Brown asks what the problem is & the doctor replies that one has aids & one is ready to kick the bucket from a heart attack.
Mr Brown quite upset asks what he was going to do.
The doctor calms Mr Brown & says that they gave it some thought & that night when he goes home send the wife on a fast run around the block & if she comes back don't f/ck her.
What starts with "P" ends with "Y" & is mans most favourite thing?
What does a dog do on three legs, a lady does sitting down & a gentleman does standing up?
Thanks have a good life from Dave

Warwick is driving down a steep, narrow mountain road with a van load of his supporters. A woman is driving up the same road. As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells, "PIGS!!"

Warwick immediately leans out his window and screams, "BITCH!! The Men all shout “Whore, Nazi, Cow, Feminist!”

They round the next corner and crash into two pigs standing in the middle of the road.