Piper: << Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? >>

Well, if it's on the floor, Spot. If it's in the water, Bob.

But it doesn't really matter what you call it, because it can't come anyway.

St Peter comes out one morning & there is 100 priests at the pearly gates so St Peter says righto any pedophiles amoungst youse can leave so 99 turned around & started to leave. St Peter looks at the remaining one & after a minute or so he yells out to the 99 & says take your deaf mate with youse.
There are 2 lines at the pearly gates one for hen pecked husbands & one for non hen pecked husbands & down through the ages there has never been anyone on the non hen pecked husband line until this day St Peter comes out & sees this one bloke standing on the non hen pecked husband line. St Peter goes over & asks why he is standing on that line , the bloke replies that his wife told him to stand there.
Thanks have a good life From Dave

Damn it CJ!

Who is a predator that hunts nothing, a crustacean without a shell, a brain south of the esophagus , a geometric shape with a voice, a broken vessel that doesn’t leak, a stringed instrument that makes no noise, a test without questions, movement with no progress, a measure of things with no ruler, a finder without eyes, a dyslexic without the impairment, a bird that does not fly, a blossom with no petals, a cleaner who fights dirty , a wood without trees, a redneck who is broad minded, a song without a voice?

oh dear piper...my brain is melting

quote<<..Who..is a predator that hunts nothing,>>..a dead one?

<<a crustacean without a shell,>>a sea-slug>

<<a brain south of the esophagus>>..a tape worm?

<<a geometric shape with a voice>>squarepeg sponge bob is suggested

<<a broken vessel that doesn’t leak,>>one thats not used?

<<a stringed instrument that makes no noise,>>..a tampon?

<<a test without questions>>..gossip?....riddles?..,jokes[but not knock knocker jokes

<<movement with no progress,>>fore play[four some]

<<a measure of things with no ruler,>>>a rabble?

<<a finder without eyes,>>a feeler seeking a thought

<<a dyslexic without the impairment>>..a di-sexliyc,

<<a bird that does not fly,>>emmmmuuu

<<a blossom with no petals>>,...a fruit

<<a cleaner who fights dirty>>.the siumpson cleaner dude

<<a wood without trees,...golfer without his tee

<<a redneck who is broad minded,>>russ hinze

<<a song without a voice?>>sheet music....aye

a dance without movement...a speach without speaker...a voice of echo's...writing without spell-ing...times without clocks...fun without thought...questions without answer...reason beyond reasoning

OUG, I liked some of your answers better than the ones I phrased the questions for. You are a complete honey of a man who got every single answer wrong.[smile]

Two goldfish in a bowl talking:
Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God?
Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?

thats simply not possable piper..i usually am right one third of the time...you MUST HAVE asked the wrong questions...

but to issue forth..that many thrusts..
i must have..hit the sweet spot..at least once

anyhow this i seary[sorry arse stuff up big time]

but big chief sitting bull...was having difficulty with bowl movement..so yabby gave him a bottle of pills..with the instruction take one after eating...anyhow big chief sent a messenger to docter

doc ..how did it go?
mess...big chief no shittte
doc,,tell him take two each meal time..let me know tomorrow

next day
doc how did it go?
mess...big chief no shhhhhit
doc...tell him to take the rest of the bottle

next day
doc...how did it go?
mess...bbbbigggg shhhhhittttte...no chief

anyhow there you go

let me know if i hit the right spot
us guys fluke it occasionally..you know...aye?