OUG I may have asked the wrong questions but your focus was drifting at a distance in the realms as your thoughts are inclined to do. It is in front of you honey, all the answers lie here and I suspect lie often here. Each thrust went awry and satisfaction not given.

I expect one who is part of the answer may riddle me better.
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A boy was walking down a street. As he passed a building with a fence around it, he heard a group of people chanting "Thirteen, thirteen, thirteen" over and over again.

Curious, he tried to see over the fence, but couldn't. Then he spotted a hole in the wood.

He put his eye to the hole. He just managed to spy some people sitting in deckchairs chanting, before a finger came out of nowhere and poked him in the eye. As he staggered back, the people started chanting, "Fourteen, fourteen, fourteen..."

TPP
One a little similar:- Bloke in toilet sitting on dunny looks for some paper to wipe the butt & can't find any but he sees this hole in the wall & wriiten above the hole is " place finger in hole it will be licked clean.
The blokes thinks & then wipes his butt with his finger & then places it in the hole.
As the finger comes through the wall there is a bloke there with a hammer & hits the finger as hard as he can.
The first bloke screams oh my focking finger while extracting his finger & raising it to his mouth.
Thanks have a great life from Dave

Posted by dwg, Sunday, 13 September 2009 10:25:44 AM. Good one dwg. Life is getting better already.

Also liked your post of Friday, 4 September 2009 11:47:58 AM. ROFL.

This one was told to me years ago by my platoon sergeant.

The place: Rome, the Colosseum.

The time: Around the time of year zero.

The occasion: Public administration of disciplinary punishments to defaulting Roman soldiers.

Out in the centre of the arena a hole, like a post-hole, but a bit wider, and around six feet deep, had been dug. The spoil was in a heap nearby.

Shortly, a door leading into the arena opens, and a squad of eight Roman soldiers, carrying, chained rigidly to a six foot long plank, an absolutely huge Nubian* - shiny head shaven bald, white teeth contrasting sharply with his jet black skin. "Sinister dexter, sinister dexter. ...... Octet .... terminus" came the commands from the centurion overseeing the punishments. The octet then lowered the chained-up Nubian into the hole, only his head remaining above ground level.

"Spadulus" came the command, and the octet filled the hole with spoil right up to the Nubian's neck. They were then marched off, the arena remaining empty of all save just a black head.

A portculis rose, and a very hungry-looking lion with a huge mane entered the arena. Spotting the black head in the centre, it crouched briefly, then charged. In its hunger-driven anticipation it misjudged its final spring and overshot the immovable but living head. The snow white teeth of the Nubian closed on the lion's scrotum. The lion rolled away, roaring and writhing in agony.

There was a massive collective intake of breath. The Roman plebian crowd were stunned. It took a second or two for what had happened to sink in. Then the crowd rose to its feet as one, shouting:

"Fight fair, you black bastard"

* Footnote. He has to be a Nubian, because there has been trouble with the OLO profanity filter and another 'n' word. Even a polite Mr N. igger sans '.' won't pass.

G'Day All,
Yeah Forrest, I am sick to death how some people want to bring prejudice into the Aussie jokes if anything harmful was meant then I think the old Irish would have the first say.
A lot of jokes were made over the Irish & the Koories but it is strange the biggest percentage of the older generations were Irish(convict) & Koorie mixed.
I reckon it is about time we took the approach of that KKK member who argued that they weren't prejudice they just hated the whole world evenly.
I would sooner see a smile & hear laughter then see frowns & hear crying.
PS no offence TPP but I suppose we have the odd joke over the Kiwis as well but they deserve it is better to pick on them than us aye.
Anyway All have a good life from Dave.

In the drought the sheep reckoned it was better to move to NZ & be focked than shot.
Why are NZ race horses so fast? they see what they do to the sheep
How do NZ'ders find sheep in long grass? quite delightful.
What do you call a kiwi with a sheep under one arm & a goat under the other? Bisexual
What do you call a kiwi with twelve sheep? A pimp.

Saw a koorie the other day with twelve sheets of galvanized iron & I asked him what was going on. He replied that him & the missus had parted & she got the kids & dog, he got the house.
What do you call a Koorie with six sheets of galvanized iron? first home buyer
A koorie & white fella jump off a twenty story building who hits the ground first? the white fella the koorie stops to break the windows Thanks All have a good life from Dave

The Bob joke reminds me of the whole family of similar jokes from about 30 years ago.

Q. What do you call a man under a pile of leaves?
Q. What do you call a man with a spade in his head?
Q. What do you call a woman with a limp?
Q. What do you call a man that lives in the marshes?