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Dear Phanto,

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You wrote :

« They [women victims] also fear the criticisms and derision of their peers and family who pressure them into staying in dysfunctional relationships »

I’m sure you’re right, Phanto. The Criminology report indicates the following “Reasons for not Reporting to Police” (page 105) :

« Almost half of the women who experienced violence from an intimate partner … indicated that they did not report the incident to police because they preferred to deal with it themselves, keep the matter private or out of shame and embarrassment … Other women did not report for fear of the offender and the consequences of reporting : “Couldn’t report because of survival/fear of not having anywhere to go to live” »

Religion is not mentioned as a possible explanation for violence. The strongest “risk factors” identified are male partners’ behaviour — his drinking habits, levels of aggression and lack of self-control (page 110).

I think some of Foxy’s observations also make a lot of sense, in particular :

« … violence is frequently a response to frustration … the modern family may sometimes be under greater pressure than it can easily bear »

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I dislike the physical discipline of children but in some cases it may be the only option.

Children are basically apes until they are socialised.
They lack control of their impulses and instincts.
The same cannot be said for grown women.

The infliction of pain on a child has an immediacy that words, "time-outs", loss of pocket money or other passive punishments don't have.
This should only be used when absolutely necessary and as mildly as possible.
The child should be reassured that they are loved and wanted and it is only their *behaviour* that is the problem.

No adult woman (or man) would need such "immediacy" to control impulses or instincts.
She has already been socialised and has the mental capacity to comprehend behavioural consequences more deeply than a child.
Words should be sufficient.

OSW: You're pretty spot on when you say police detest 'disturbance calls' or a specific job in police parlance 'Domestics'.

Oh yes! How many times have you been called to a DV & the very person you have gone to save has attacked you

I remember one story where the Police were called, the woman was bleeding all over & when the husband was arrested she attacked them. They took him to the Watch House & she followed in her car (drunk) & proceeded to throw empty Beer Bottles at the Police Station. They took her in too, for her own safety & the Ambulance men cleaned her up & she spent the night in the Watch House. (they did that in those days.) The two spent the night screaming at each other. Others in the Bin joined in screaming at them to shut up or egging them on. Great entertainment for the Police.

Foxy: especially for young people who are living currently in modern
societies where different lifestyles and ideas are freely available to them.

You don't really understand, do you? These people reject our lifestyles & ideas. Some of these people have been here for millennia & still reject, & are even hardened against our lifestyle & ideas. You, are living in a fantasy world.

BJ: violence is frequently a response to frustration.

I can understand that. Especially if the wife has Mental Issues (Nut Case) & creates havoc around the family unit, drunk, unfaithful, a screamer, etc,. I've seen a myriad of examples of this, but, of course, you are not allowed to mention that, the feminists get upset & deny it ever happens. (PC

Dear Jayb,

Views are not set in concrete as you seem to be arguing.
People are capable of change (even you - given half a chance).
I am not living in a fantasy world. On the contrary. I am
speaking from my experiences. Of course I can see that they
obviously are very different to yours.

Foxy: Views are not set in concrete as you seem to be arguing. People are capable of change (even you - given half a chance).

I agree, yes, some are capable of changing. Unfortunately moslim women aren't, & can't. Their close friends are other moslim women who are also restricted as to where they go & who they speak to, or inter-react with. Change for them would mean a complete change to, for them, an extremely foreign lifestyle. Imagine if you were told that you "have" to go B.A.S.E. jumping every day for the rest of you life.

Foxy: I am not living in a fantasy world. On the contrary. I am speaking from my experiences. Of course I can see that they obviously are very different to yours.

Obviously, it is. You have lived in America. I wouldn't go there, I've been to a War Zone, didn't like it much. (well it was OK.) But, I believe, chances of my chances of survival were better in Vietnam than in Chicago. Most of my overseas travel was in SE Asia & associating with moderate moslims, & that scared me. I'm an avid associator, in fact my C.O. was always telling me that I was not to lower myself & associate with the Locals. Nah! I did anyway. (The Rebel in me.) I never wrapped myself in Cotton Wool. My life experiences have been many & varied sometimes a little to extreme & varied, but, looking back, worth it. Even a little, (What's his name that does all those survival videos,) ish, at times.

In the last week I have been contacted by some of my old associates from the 60's & 70's that I had shared many adventures with. (Courtesy of the DVA Magazine.) Lot's of reminiscing on Skype. (scary stuff) Apparently most of them are dying from some form of Cancer or other & are looking to catch up before the inevitable. We are all in our 70's now & some have died already. Some good laughs too. My God, were we ever that silly or stupid.

Jayb,

"My God, were we ever that silly or stupid"

Yes, we were!!