Dear Foxy,

This is not as much about a particular individual because violent people come from all walks of life, it is more about fundamentalist religions being enablers. There would be many Christian and Muslim men who would never think about rising their hand to their spouse. But when those who do receive affirmation from their faith it compounds the violence and abuse.

But more to Graham's question, why is this not deemed okay because we we regard BDSM in consensual relationships as permissible.

The point surely must be that where strong religious and cultural imperatives are at play it is hard to accept that the women involved are there entirely of their own free will.

As a result I think society owes them a duty of care.

Dear Steele,

I agree totally and you've said it far better
than I could have.

Isn't Hizb ut-Tahrir a declared terrorist organisation everywhere in the Western world expect silly old Australia? I suppose the women could call themselves martyrs by allowing the old man to knock them about as practice for the big one when it comes.

Any woman that needs to be 'educated' that physical violence is wrong has serious problems. The most basic instinct in human nature is to protect yourself and to keep safe. If you haven't worked that out by the time you marry then you probably never will.

phanto,

It's rather difficult saying that to a woman who
was raised in a religion that taught her - it was
a husband's right. And as far as our culture is
concerned - there are quite a few women who for
one reason or another (financial, emotional,
for the sake of the family and children) are unable
to leave the man who regularly abuses her.
If it was so simple then we would not have the problem
of domestic violence in this country.

foxy:

Then the problem is not the violence but the emotional attachment to religion or to marriage or relationships. If you value these things more than your own well-being then your values are all askew.

It might not be easy to turn you back on these things but that cannot be an excuse. You have to take responsibility for your own well-being. So long as you continue to blame others for your own situation you will never get out of it. No one has to be in a domestic relationship and no one has to be religious. These women have far more power than they are prepared to take up.

If you continue to see them as powerless victims then you are part of the problem and not part of the solution.