.

Intimate partner violence is endemic in Australia, but we are not alone in that, and it has very little to do with religion.

As the report for which I posted the link in my previous post indicates, most intimate partner violence is not reported and goes unnoticed. Of that which is reported, it mainly occurs to women who have left (or, should I say “escaped from”) their partner.

The worst and most frequently reported violence has nothing to do with “couples voluntarily submitting themselves to violent practices within their own marriage” as Graham writes – quite the contrary. It occurs to women who no longer accept to be physically and psychologically abused by their partner and who fear for their safety and the safety of their children.

Women victims usually hesitate to report violence to avoid disruption of the family and all the drama and seemingly unsurmountable psychological and material difficulties that that entails. They fear the reprisals of their partner and, regrettably, their fears are all too often well-founded. The statistics are there to prove it.

I can only imagine that Graham ignores the reality of the problem when he writes :

« … I'm finding it hard to get caught up in the outrage … If a woman wants to voluntarily submit to such a regime, for me, that is her problem … What makes our sporting and sexual assaults acceptable is that the parties voluntarily submit to it … If Australians are really serious about this violence, then they need to persuade these women that they shouldn't submit »

I am both surprised and disappointed by these remarks. I sincerely hope that Graham will realise his error and revise his position. It is untenable for a person of his moral and political stature if he is correctly informed. I can only imagine that he is not.

Once again, I strongly recommend that anybody who is sincerely interested in this problem make the effort to get the facts right by consulting the latest Australian Institute of Criminology report on the question :

http://www.aic.gov.au/media_library/publications/rpp/56/rpp056.pdf

.

Foxy:

You have described what domestic violence is and some of the causes that might be considered but you have not addressed the specifics of the emotional pressures on Muslim women to remain Muslims. You say that traditionally Muslim men are encouraged by their religion to be violent but we already know this. You are just describing things which are obvious to anyone with a passing knowledge of Islam.

You also do not address why Muslim women remain Muslims. This is the crux of the domestic violence problem for them. They are not going to seek information or education which could lead them to have second thoughts about Islam. They do not want to face that fundamental issue. No one looks for answers when they do not want to find them. They do not want information about their rights and aids. They do not want to know about things which create for them an even bigger problem.

Whilst they are ignorant about help they can resort to religion to deal with their life of fear. They use religion to deal with all their fears. They cannot throw the baby out with the bathwater. When you present them with help and education about domestic violence you are actually creating a bigger stress for them. Whilst there may be help for domestic violence where is the help for all their other fears? If Islam is not the answer then what is? How are they meant to deal with fear if not by religious practices and beliefs?

It is far too simplistic to think that it is just a question of giving them the appropriate brochures. Domestic violence is for many of them the preferred option to dismantling the whole edifice of religion which underpins their complete emotional lives.

Banjo Paterson:

“Women victims usually hesitate to report violence to avoid disruption of the family and all the drama and seemingly unsurmountable psychological and material difficulties that that entails. They fear the reprisals of their partner and, regrettably, their fears are all too often well-founded.”

This is not the only reason. They also fear the criticisms and derision of their peers and family who pressure them into staying in dysfunctional relationships. I would say this is by far the reason why they do not report the violence and it’s often far too late when they do. We underestimate this pressure from outside and the inability of women to deal with it rationally. Their fear of what others will say dominates their own fear of being hurt or even worse, the care for their own children. Many domestic violence crusaders are women who are full of guilt for allowing these pressures to override the safety of their kids.

How many women who do not have kids, who are financially independent and who have other places to go also remain in very violent relationships? What is stopping them from leaving if not the emotional pressure of others? They have no excuses and yet they continue to allow themselves to be beaten up rather than ‘lose face’.

You have to look at the total picture and not just at the ones who decide to leave. There are many who decide to stay when it is totally unreasonable to do so.

G'evening to you FOXY...

You're pretty spot on when you say police detest 'disturbance calls' or a specific job in police parlance 'Domestics'. Another 'job' that runs a close second to Domestics is; 'youths' or 'aboriginals'! Provided of course, the job doesn't represent a threat to life, injury, or property, the cop's will occasionally employ a delightful little acronym 'F I D O' and leave it at that.

Thus a job comes over the radio to attend a 'Domestic' at a certain address, and there's no violence reported, then it could be a 'FIDO"

'F..K IT DRIVE ON'...- crude yes, morally and legally wrong, no doubt. But after awhile FOXY, you get to know your patrol district's idiosyncrasies very very well indeed! Today, they'd never get away with it, a clear case of dereliction of duty. Goodnight FOXY.

Dear O Sung Wu,

I understand very well the "FIDO" reaction of police officers.
I have a family member who was in the LAPD (Los Angeles
Police) and the stories he told us concerning domestic
violence were horrific.

Dear phanto,

You have raised some valid points. However,
we can only hope and trust that changes and reform within the
Muslim communities will come eventually - if not from the current
generations then certainly from the future ones who will
surely be influenced by their environment in this country.
Reform is inevitable and has to happen sooner or later
from within
especially for young people who are living currently in modern
societies where different lifestyles and ideas are freely
available to them. Also inter-marriage may also help towards
this end. Time is on our side. Many changes have occurred in
the various migrant communities that have settled in this
country, especially amongst the younger generations who have
been influenced through their lives here. I believe that the
same will happen with the Muslim communities as well.

cont'd ...

Domestic violence is a serious problem all around the
world. The following link is just an example of what's
happening in another country:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/russia-decriminalise-domestic-violence-vladimir-putin-ultra-conservative-family-laws-a7541371.html