i..loved the joke..so..much i spent hours..looking for the speech
[ok..not hours..but many[a dosen..or so pages]..of google searches..and a solid hour..of reading famous speeches..

but none fit the bill..
none..good enough..to ..to one..who gets it..
anyhow two google pages..this morning found this

http://conversationeducation.wordpress.com/2013/05/21/the-joke-is-on-you/

[my search term.
http://www.google.com.au/search?q=lost+art+conversation+joke&

<<..“Do you get it?”

<<..My 4 year old daughter,..Emma loved to tell this joke when she found herself in new strange hospital situations. Humor is one of those incredible gifts that we all have for making human connections.

<<.This was her way of taking some kind of control over her illness and she loved to tell this joke over and over. The delight in her eyes in seeing who “got it” was sheer heaven, thinking she was so clever and loving the joke over and over herself.

<<..There was something in this joke
*she could see that made her enjoy it every time she told it.

She “got” it and was always sure to ask,
“Do you get it?”

Image

Photo Credit: http://www.fun2video.com

<<..The getting it..is like the ultimate secret..that she is privy to;..the delight is making sure that everyone..is able to enjoy the magic..of the punch line..in the same way as the teller.

<<And there is an art.to telling a good joke..and the feedback is instant…did you get a laugh or not? You can always tell those who get it as an expression..of knowing crosses their faces,..and then there are those that laugh to be polite..and those who are laughing as they are still trying to figure it out.

<<..We have all been there.. at one end or the other.;.and of course the worst place to be is to be the jokester that gets no laughs at all. It is a tough lesson, but..one that you can do something about..right away...>>

by telling the next one..they might get?

ohh..the jopke..righjt

<<“Why did the cookie..go to the doctor’s office?”>>

http://www.google.com.au/search?q=lost+conversation+joke

Jesus and Satan.;.are having a conversation...

Jesus and Satan.;.were having an ongoing argument
about who was better..on his computer...They had been going at it for days,..and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.

Finally God said, "Cool it.
I am going to set up a test..that will run two hours and..I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded.

They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job. But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off.

Satan stared at his blank screen..and screamed every curse word known in the underworld...Jesus just sighed...The electricity finally flickered back on and each of them restarted their computers.

Satan started searching frantically,..screaming
"It's gone!..It's all gone!..I lost everything when the power went out!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours...Satan observed this and became irate.

"Wait!
He cheated,..how did he do it?"

God shrugged..and said,.."Jesus saves."

http://www.jokes.com/funny-god-jokes

BILLS clock

Hillary Clinton died and went to Heaven.
St. Peter was giving her a tour of Heaven..when she noticed that there were dozens of clocks..on the wall...Each clock displayed a different time of day.

When she asked St. Peter about the clocks, he replied, ''We have a clock for each person on earth..and every time they tell a lie the hands move. The clock ticks off one second..each time a lie is told.''

Special attention was given to two clocks...The clock belonging to Mother Teresa has never moved,..indicating that she never told a lie. The clock for Abraham Lincoln...has only moved twice. He only told two lies in his life. Hillary asked ''Where is Bill's clock?''

St. Peter replied,
''Jesus has it in his office...he's using it as a ceiling fan.'

ohh..sorry..i..miss/read the heading

the athiest version..of the bear..joke
http://www.jokes.com/funny-god-jokes/8ccm34/an-atheist-and-a-bear

Q: What did the bartender say when a priest,
a boyscout, and a blonde walked in?

A: Is this a joke?

this too long to post..but a classic

http://www.jokes.com/funny-god-jokes/f49dvl/executive-decision

Concise Creative Writing

A university creative writing class is asked to write essays containing these four elements: religion, royalty, sex and mystery.

The prize-winning essay reads: "My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder whose it is?"

Zen Sausage

Said the Buddhist..to the hot dog vendor:
"Make me one..with everything."

Confessional Etiquette

The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.

The old priest says, "Cross you arms over your chest and rub your chin with one hand."

The new priest tries this. The old priest suggests, "Try saying things like, 'I see,' 'yes,' 'go on,' 'I understand,' and 'how did you feel about that?'"

The new priest says those things, trying them out. The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than saying, 'Whoa... What happened next?'"

Ya Wanna Find Jesus?

A drunk man stumbled into a church where there were baptisms being performed. The priest noticed him and asked him if he wanted to find Jesus.

"Sure," said the drunk man. "I'll find Jesus." So the priest took the drunk man's head and dunked it into the baptismal waters. When he came up for air, he was sputtering and couging.

"Damn," said the drunk man. "Are you sure he fell in there?"

i thought..it funny

a young man..named Edgar R...who came here..a very long-time ago...His story is..a sad one..and explains the length of time..he has needed in this plane....Is it horrifying..to know that
he was a murderer?

In a moment..of frenzy..he killed his wife...and the law..then sent him to death..with all the usual..accompaniments of shame..and violence...I can well imagine..the impossible conditions into which at..first he drifted.

His..own shame and despair..drew him to the darkest regions..of the early planes and his plight there..was awful...He hid himself
among the debased..and brutal population of a town..of ill-repute, afraid...that his victim would find..and reproach him.

Here..he lived in a dark hell..of his own making,..
a prey..to fear and remorse...

There are..certain devoted souls..who managed to
penetrate to these regions.in search of any who can be helped..and they found Edgar eventually..and persuaded him..to face his problem, come out of hiding..and find his wife.

She also..had suffered.
Anger..and hatred of him..had prevented her progress,
but by degrees..she was helped to see and..to understand the real situation..for which she had..been..*partly responsible,..but which had been hidden..from her..by the mists/of..her own anger.

These two poor souls..were still bound..to each other..by mutual wrong-doing..which seems to make..nearly as strong a bond..as love itself...Until they had cleared..the anger..from their souls..and the blindness..from their eyes they could..not get free.

They neither of them..wished to remain together,..or so they thought at first;..yet when,..*by the help of those..who are skilled in bringing about such adjustments..they did at last..face the evil..in themselves..*instead of..simply..condemning it in..each other,..

the change in..their whole condition..produced a strange solution.

They each..laid hold again..upon their..essential innocence;
they renewed..the long-lost appearance of youth..and charm
and..to their own surprise..they found that..the bond which really held them together..was love.

They are together now..in an ideal relationship
and the joy..they take in each other..has been won through long purgatorial-suffering...So the clumsy bungling..of human justice has been compensated..by the justice of God.

This is not..the sentimental notion..of mere forgiveness of sin – that would alter nothing –..but a true regeneration..passing..through suffering..and..by dropping pre-tense..and..the cleansing off..of the perilous stuff..[which would otherwise..continue to poison..the springs of living...]

http://www.divinetruth.com/PDF/People/Other/Jane%20Sherwood%20-%20Post%20Mortem%20Journal.pdf

to explain..previous..'joke'

Until the Separation,..which is a better term..than the Fall..[of man]..,..nothing was lacking...This meant that man..had no needs at all...*If he had not deprived..*himself,..he would never have
experienced them.

After the Separation, .[fall]..materialist body..needs..became the most powerful source..of motivation for..human action...All behavior is essentially..motivated by needs,..but behavior itself..is not a
Divine attribute...The body is..*the mechanism for behavior...(Ask any behaviorist,..and he’s..RIGHT, too.)..hence the importance..of mind.

A man acts..according to..the particular hierarchy..[preferences]..of of ways..to meet needs..which..she establishes..for himself.

THis hierarchy,..in turn,..depends on..his/her..perception of what he IS,..filling..the immediate..nmeed..i.e.,..to fill..what he LACKS. This establishes..his own rules..for what he needs...to know...think..see hear feel..say..do etc

Separation..from God..[logus/logic]..is the only lack..he really needs to correct...But his Separation..would never have occurred..if he had not distorted..his perception of truth,..and thus..*perceived himself*..as lacking.

The concept..of ANY sort of need..for HIERARCHY[necessitating..listing..an order..of preference]..arose because,..having made this..fundamental error,..he had already fragmented himself..into levels with DIFFERENT needs.

As he integrates,..back to the good of god..HE becomes one,..and his ONE need..becomes one accordingly...able to meet any..need..Only
the fragmented..can be confused about this.

Internal integration..within the oneness..of self
will not..(suffice)..to..correct the lack..is no fallacy,..but it
WILL correct..the NEED fallacy. (

Unified need..produces unified action,
because..it produces..a lack of ambivalence.

The concept..of need of..hierarchy,..is a corrollary..to the original error,..that..requires correction..at its OWN level,..*before the error of levels..itself can be corrected.

Man..cannot operate..(orbbehave)..effectively..while he operates..at split levels...But as long as..he does so,..he must*..introduce correction..from the bottom UP.

This is because..he now operates..in outer-space,
where..“up”..and..“down”..are meaningful terms...Ultimately, of course,..space..is as meaningless as time...The concept is really one
of..space-time BELIEF/faith/trust.

The physical world..exists only because..man can use it
to correct..his..hurtful..[injurious]..BELIEF,..which placed him..in it originally...As long as man..*KNEW he did not need..anything,..the whole device..of mortality/materialism..earth/universe/eve-wry thing....was unnecessary.

The need..to know..is not safely..under man’s control..at this time. It is MUCH better off..under mine.[this was written..by jesus]
http://miraclevision.com/acim/urtext/acim-urtext-2003-upe-ready-edition.pdf

Let’s just leave it at that.
(;\*/;)

sorry about the context..of the last two jokes
i was only..using..your topic post box..to edit..the first one down..to finish off the joke..

begun..ignored here..

[but for the post limits]..when..editing..i saw it could fit in here
when..it would be in context..there..

but it..seems like trolling..[even now]

http://forum.onlineopinion.com.au/thread.asp?article=15257#269320

i did it.here
as mentioned previously..[on..that topic]..because the other site* has closed down..and lost much of my work*..of editing..[the link also reveals the joke]..is on me..the only..one missing the laughter.

http://www.celestinevision.com/celestine/forum/viewtopic.php?p=15136#15136

anyhow..thanks for the opportunity..of venting
whjat are thery preventing?..so..im kinda of..at lost ends

now,..what?
why am i here..

end the joke..or just let it slide..
or double up..and let it ride

i need..the jokes..but the joker
dont need me doing my pun/fun..but thats all i got.