that minds me...of..a poem..i read in..jail
[its not the..walls and bars..a prison make
but that..damm roof on top..

blocking off the rain/pain..yet again..
[i know..thats insane]..but i had many teachers

anyhow..a
bi-curr joke

big tough..hels angel..goes to dentist..

dentist looks into his gob..and says two teeth rotting..i can have them both out in half an hour..after thre medication..kicks in

[biker says..im..in a bit of a hurry
besides i only felt pain..twice in my life..
skip the needle ..and let it rip

so dentists..cuts gouges digs..pulls..
[joke has expanded..by life experience]

pokes and cuts..and presto..
one tooth..extracted..biker hasnt budged a blink
dentist is amazed..he says..mate i cant believe it..when..did you ever feel pain

biker says..well mate..we was..on..a run..with me on..me runs
i was desperate for a place to land..and get the load off

anyhow..found a bush finally..[even..had a bit of shade]
so squatted down..and bang]

[cla-baaaannnnggghuh]

a dingo-trap.caught up..me man bells
and i felt pain..[the doctor was amazed..feeling the pain[as men do]..even..if only..via the pain..of a joke]

he said..wow...
when..was..the other time..you felt..pain[again].

when..the safety chain..
on..the trap..ran..out..of slack..

wac*-
[crak..right back]

Dear Johan (OUG),

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in
our lives means the most to us, we often find
that it is those who, instead of giving advice,
solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share
our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and
tender hand."

Take care.

Humpty Dumpty..is..typically
portrayed..as..an anthropomorphic egg.

HOW DO..WE KNOW..he was..an eggg?

The first..recorded versions of the rhyme..date from late eighteenth century England..and the tune from 1870..in James William Elliott's National Nursery Rhymes and Nursery Songs...Its origins are obscured and..several theories..have been advanced..to suggest original meanings.

Lyrics..and melody

The rhyme is..one of.the best known..and most popular
in the English language...The most common..modern text is:

Humpty Dutifully..sat on the wall,
the wall..Humpty Dumpty..sat upon..had a great fall.
All the king's..horses..winches and cranes..and all the king's men..that came
Couldn't .put Humpty..back..together again.

An illustration..from Walter Crane's,
Mother Goose's Nursery Rhymes.(1877),.showing Humpty Dumpty..as a boy
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:MotherGooseHumptyDumpty.jpg

The earliest..known version..was published
in Samuel Arnold's Juvenile/Amusements..in 1797.. with the lyrics:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Four-score Men and Four-score more,
Could not make..Humpty Dumpty..where he was before.[1]

A manuscript addition..to a copy
of Mother Goose's Melody published in 1803,
which has the modern version with a different last line:

"Could not set Humpty Dumpty up again".[1]
It was published in 1810..in a version of Gammer Gurton's Garland as:

Humpty Dumpty sate [sic] on a wall,
Humpti Dumpti [sic] had a great fall;
Threescore men and threescore more,
Cannot place Humpty dumpty as he was before.[6]

In 1842 James Orchard Halliwell
published a collected..version as;

Humpty Dumpty lay in a beck.
With all his sinews...around his neck;
Forty Doctors and forty wrights
Couldn't put Humpty Dumpty..back..to rights![7]

the origin..of the rhyme to..a cannon..recorded as used from the church of St Mary-at-the-Wall by the Royalist..defenders in the siege of 1648.[17][not..one..of mans..highlights]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Colchester
http://www.thesealedknot.org.uk/knowbase/docs/0003_ColSeige.htm

In 1648 Colchester..The story given..was that a large cannon,
which the website claimed..was colloquially called Humpty Dumpty, was strategically..placed on the wall.>>

now cannon..has..a duel..meaning
[explored..at links[end]..but back to..humpty/dumpylink

A shot..from a Parliamentary cannon..[see Cromwell]..succeeded in damaging..the wall..beneath Humpty Dumpty..which caused..the cannon to tumble..to the ground.

The Royalists,..or Cavaliers,
ie.."all the King's men",...attempted to raise the..Humpty Dumpty [7,000lb canon]..on to another..part of the wall,..but because the cannon..was so heavy..*"All the King's horses..and all the King's men couldn't..put..the Humpity-cannon..[anon],,back..together again"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humpty_Dumpty

key word search
http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:Search&search=1648+writing+cannon+on+wall&fulltext=Search&redirs=0&profile=default

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1632_series

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oliver_Cromwell

Just read all of these lovely jokes, so here's a contribution'

A lady in Ireland visited the doctor,

"Dia duit, conas ta tu?" she says.

"Good morning, Mrs O'Flaithbherataigh, how are you?"

"Never better, Doctor, never better" (switching to English).

"Then how can I be of help?"

"Well I want to go on the pill"

"The Pill!! but you're over 60 aren't you?"

"Indeed I am; I'm 67".

"Mrs O'Flaithbheartaigh haven't you heard of the menopause?"

"Of course I have, but himself has got some of those Niagra tablets an' he's a man o' pause no longer".

And here's a local true story as related by a one time Editor of the paper "La Fiamma".

He had not long been in Australia and was feeling a bit homesick and lonely.
His English was impeccable in fact it was a bit to good.
He was from the island of Lesbos so put an add in a Sydney paper to the effect that he would like to meet some fellow Lesbians.

A couple of days later there was a knock at the door and when he opened it there were two young policemen, one of whom, after he'd asked his name, said, showing him the paper "Did you put this add in the paper?"
"Yes" he said "are you Lesbians?"

Fortunately the Constable realized that something was amiss and had a yarn and put him right on some aspects of English usage.

im..bored

#
Memory's Going
An eighty year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor's office, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory.

After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down, making notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left.

Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?"

He replied, "To the kitchen."
She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
"Sure."

Then his wife asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"
"No, I can remember that."

"Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that," his wife said.
"I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."
She replied, "Well, I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that. You had better write it down."

With irritation in his voice, he said,
"I don't need to write that down, I can remember that."

He went into the kitchen.
After about 20 minutes, he returned from the kitchen
and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stared at the plate for a moment
and said, "You forgot my toast."