Dear runner,

Thank You for your list.

I can't imagine your not having
a happy marriage because you're
prepared to work at it.

I'm happy for you.

Thanks for your kind words Foxy. I do feel very blessed to have had a good marriage for many years now. I do know that much of it is about grace as much as working at it. Many times I have seen one partner working very hard while the other is treating the hard working partner like an animal. Those who are blessed with a good marriage know their is nothing better. Those blessed with a bad marriage knows that there is not much worse.

'As well as not fussing over unimportant things.'

Oh Foxy. Importance is relative to each person. If things are important to one partner, they immediately become important to the other.
That's why shared values are so important. It makes for a lot less conflict.

But if you mean nagging, I'm right with you. Death by a thousand cuts it is.

'Your post actually brought tears to my eyes.'
Aunt Flo visiting at the moment?

My missus and I pray together, only it's at the pub. Trouble is she's praying for the All Blacks and I'm praying for the Wallabies.

Foxy, it's even worse than that, I've been there twice.

The first one was quite messy, but a thrilling ride. She was a ballet choreographer, & I an engineer. She went off studding at the Julliard School of music, New York, while was studding physics in the UK, we got together 5 times in almost 2 years, then I was studding thermo plastics in Michigan, while she was working on the east end.

You know, we sure did not get bored with each other. Getting together could be pretty wild, but it didn't work all that well, really.

The second one is not that much better. Six years later, I found her as paying crew, on a yacht sailing around the world. She jumped ship.

We spent years on my yacht, & a 40 Ft yacht is actually smaller than a 15 Ft caravan, inside. Our first daughter had sailed over 2,000 nautical miles, before she could walk.

36 years & 3 kids later she's becoming a bit of a gadabout. Always off playing with grandkids, when she should be home sweeping the floors, or painting the roof, or some such.

Still I guess that's my cross to carry, always being attracted to flighty women.

Dera runner,

You're absolutely spot on about the blessings
of a good marriage, and the curses of a bad one.
When you have the good fortune of the first -
you're truly blessed!

Dear Houellie,

Of course shared values are important, if not
crucial. I was talking about nagging though.
Some people don't know when to stop. We all
have the power to diminish. But I hate it
when naggers continually jab at what is viewed
as another's weakness. People need to ask
themselves - Is it your intention to tame
the beast (so to speak), Is that the prize?
Do you really want a partner who just says,
"Yes, dear," and falls asleep in the armchair
every night? Be careful what you wish for,
because you just might end up stripping away
the vitality, the sexual energy of the partner
you once thought of as your knight in shining
armour.

Dear Hasbeen,

What an interesting life you've lead.
And there's nothing wrong with "flighty"
women, for a "travelling" man.
Besides, it sound as if you've snared
yourself a beauty - especially if she
cares about your grandchildren - she's
a stayer! And you're a lucky man!
(in my humble opinion).

Dear Houellie,

I've just received an email that made me
think more about the point you raised
in your earlier post about the importance
of sex in a marriage. It's a joke the
friend sent that I thought you and others
may enjoy ... (a bit naughty, but funny):

"A TV Interview which was never aired in the
UK ...

You know there are so many TV Channels each
starved of new programs.

In a rural program for farmers a female TV
reporter seeking the main cause of Mad Cow Disease,
arranged for an interview with a farmer who may have
some theories on the matter.

The interview was as follows:

The lady reporter:
"I am here to collect information on the possible
sources of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any
reason for this disease?"

The farmer stared at the reporter and said,
"Do you know that a bull mounts a cow once a year?"

Reporter (obviously embarrassed)
"Well, sir, that's a new piece of information but what's
the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow
Disease?"

Farmer:
"And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice
a day?"

Reporter:
"Sir, this is really valuable information but what
about getting to the point?"

Farmer:
"I am getting to the point, madam.
Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice
a day...and only screwing you once a year wouldn't
you get mad?"

The program was never aired.