I've got a close family friend who's
going through a divorce. We've spent
many hours discussing things like -
attributes of a good marriage partner,
what qualities do you look for in a mate?
The fact that individuals change over time,
and we always end up back to the question -
"How do you make a marriage work for a lifetime?"

I'd be interested in your views on the topic.

Why don't you ask a hard one Foxy, this one is too easy.

After no more than 7 days honeymoon, you move to different states, at least 500Km apart.

Visit each other for no more than 7 days, twice a year.

If you are male, send lots of money.

If you are a lady, don't throw your $200,000 engagement ring down the toilet.

Everyone's marriage is different.

Mine especially so as I'm not even married. But we are committed, and we're a team.

For us; laughing, getting drunk together, and ensuring together that life is good for both regardless of the circumstances. One partner can carry the other for a while but once it gets to a year when someone is putting in more than the other (who's dealing with their own sh1t), you're on shaky ground.

Lots of sex is a must as I think couples who don't shag are on the way to losing it all. It's a sure fire sign. Sex brings communication, and fitness too. If you cant find time for the most enjoyable feelings in life you really have lost your way. Kids are no excuse, and sex is more than penetration.

BTW: Ecstasy is actually a good tool to enhance communication in couples. It's a truth serum of sorts, and the truths come out when people are full of endorphins and serotonin and the loved up feeling allows harsh truths to be born out at the time without any conflict, and the information still to be kept for a later date to enhance understanding in a relationship.

It's no surprise that sex and drugs, once again, hold the answers we all seek.

An Idea for Foxy: Get them to look at OLO gender threads and other relationship type forums. They'll see so many hateful, bitter people it will convince them their marriage is always better than the poor lost souls out there. They'll get an idea of the pool of freaks they'll be mixing it with trying to find a new partner. They'll also see what fun the CSA seems to be.

Get married at 80?

Divorce is very common Foxy and often I think it is because people want too much from each other. We are all guilty of this at times but if we can temper it with some realism and accept the other person for their faults and positives you are on your way.

There is no real answer I think as we are all very individual and what works for one couple won't necessarily for others.

It is becoming more difficult in an era where the self is considered more important than the group. Marriage has to be a team effort.

Also a marriage might last a lifetime but it does not necessarily mean it is a happy one. My Great Grandmother put up with a drinking husband for years in an era that taught you made your bed lie in it. Lasted till death do us part but was not a happy one.

First you must love each other. After the first month buy two pairs of Boxing Gloves, his and hers.
Put them on whenever a discussion is imminent. Both of you shout your corner. Male leadership is out.
You want to invest $100,000. Split it into two $50,000 and each decide for yourself. You can laugh or cry to each other later.
Men learn a new vocabulary: MMM! AAH! and never try to end a conversation.