'they're the ones who can argue well.'

Yes, no harm in 'unfair' solutions or being a bit too enthusiastic for one's point of view, as long as both respect each other's view as valid and at the end they can look each other in the eye.

I would add that each should retain some areas of privacy (not secrecy, there is a difference in intent) and independence, especially financial independence, but that is for me and my partner, not necessarily others. Also, I believe that commitment has to be earned and renewed on a daily basis, which is why a cuppa or wine together at around sunset is a good idea. Ritual can be done during meal preparation, doesn't always have to be a sit down affair. Again, that is my household not necessarily others.

Dear Cornflower,

A cuppa or a glass of wine around sunset
sounds wonderful. It can produce perhaps
the most elegant of human feelings, that is -
of sharing of oneness with another human being...

Once again - Thanks to everyone who
contributed to this thread.

Before I go I'd like to leave you with
one of my favourite poems by Mark Twain -
which we used for my niece's wedding:

" I cannot promise you a life of sunshine;
I cannot promise riches, wealth or gold;
I cannot promise you an easy pathway
That leads away from change or growing old.

But I can promise all my heart's devotion
A smile to chase away your tears of sorrow;
A love that's ever true and ever growing;
A hand to hold in yours through each tomorrow."

Be kind to each other!