R0bert:“… creating a loss of access to kids combined with crippling property settlements and CSA payments leading to despair.”

I thought we were talking about couples in domestic violence situations, that would mean they’re together (and probably shouldn’t be) so where would the CSA come in to it? Now if the woman is in her second relationship according to Retchub the skank is raking it in. Sorry Retchub, can’t help myself.

Should I fess up? I was in a DV situation once for about 40 seconds, between ex and current husbands. In 17 years I have never figured out what made me so angry or why he forgave it or wanted to stay together… we didn’t. I felt it was my fault but I wasn’t Me when with him.

Examinator I think we’ve met all the same people. I had a mum who would beat her boy, who was bigger and stronger, with a vacuum cleaner pipe. He used to come running to me telling me he was going to lose control soon. While telling him just to walk away each time I guess I was hoping he’d just belt her back. He ended up beating his future partners up though, been in prison heaps, leader of a gang now. Maybe he really should have hit his mum way back then?

Many years ago a female friend of my ex got beaten by her new partner, well him and a few boys went round – we just don’t solve problems like we used to. Now I must say, back then I stayed in the car shouting after the boys “what the hell is wrong with her just get her out”. Maybe that was the equivalent of “Mens Business”?

Is there successful help out there for men if they seek it?

Houel – go get yourself another baby.

PP
>"Houel – go get yourself another baby."<

So he can give it complexes if its a girl? That's a rather convoluted way for you to get another foster child isn't it?

;-) he he he ...examinator ant! Go stand in the naughty corner THIS INSTANT!

Awwwww he made me do it! (mutter mutter whinge whinge) :-(

Pied Piper, my understanding is that DV covers post relationship violence as well. I've not looked very far into it but there does seem to be a fair bit of evidence that a significant proportion of the most extreme violence is post relationship.

Antonios I gave you the example of non-physical violence to try to get you think about the logic in claiming that it's always the stronger person's fault. It's often useful to think about an issue in another context to see if the logic still holds, in this case I don't think that the logic is valid.

The analogy is not perfect, perhaps a different one, if two cars are on the road, one more powerful than the other, one is speeding and being driven recklessly, the other is operated within the speed limit and is being driven as saftely as possible. They collide, whose fault is it?

Put aside what external agencies might say and see if the idea that the stronger party is always at fault matches your real world experience.

R0bert

pontificator,

'"two wrongs make a right?"
But hey reminding people of good manners and personal responsibility is pompous to some...and they complain if the shoe is on the other foot i.e. when they are on the receiving end.'

Sadly, you have it ass about face as usual. The right or wrong is neither here nor there.

As I have said many a time, if you want to preach about manners and etiquette, you'd better be bloody polite yourself.

Now I have never complained about anyone's manners or prose or etiquette on OLO, while you have made it your business to act as the OLO police in this regard.

But this hasn't stopped you casting aspersions on people's parenting skills and proposing they are so bad it would lead to their children being fostered out. I think that little outburst says a lot about your real character. I'm happy to have it stand as a shining example of your hypocrisy. As personal attacks go it far outweighs anything that's been dished out by those posters you police.

H,
My comment to PP was a whimsical point. rationally it bore no relation to reality other that to joke about your seeming anti female stances.
The rest is in your mind certainly not mine. Certainly not the playing policeman moral conscience or any other such nonsensical attribute you find necessary to attack me personally..with via name calling etc.
I do not make a practice of attacking individuals per see But I do challenge what they say.

Mind you making a blood sport of conversation does make me bristle. It is you that started with the personalised name calling rather than what is said.

Your The pogo stick in snow approach says nothing about the context and is no way to discuss anything.
I often wonder that someone with the capabilities you express why you don't seem to understand my dilemma (foible ) for what it is. I am between two diametric cultures. One mass i.e. Wasp and the other shaman literal.
Let's agree to disagree ...you don't call me names and I won't make poor jokes.

By all means challenge what I SAY . Contrary to what you seem to think I neither see myself superior or always correct. But like you why lay down if your arguments aren't logical or based on facts?
Pax?

Exterminator ant

R0bert:”Pied Piper, my understanding is that DV covers post relationship violence as well. I've not looked very far into it but there does seem to be a fair bit of evidence that a significant proportion of the most extreme violence is post relationship.”

Fair enough, it’s best to establish who is boss early on aye. Yes I know, I’m in a stupid mood today.

What can I say, the bloody idiots, violence reared its ugly head and they still just carried on. I think often men and women really do believe things will change after some sort of wedding ceremony has been held. Is it an over abundance of faith in humans being basically good?

Exam:“>"Houel – go get yourself another baby."<
So he can give it complexes if its a girl? That's a rather convoluted way for you to get another foster child isn't it?”

Haha... I read that about five times before clicking that I had phrased it all wrong. And you get outta my corner.

Houel, give me that damn drink. It was a joke, this is like watching two men in a pub... Aw that so brings back some wonderful memories... as you were