Dear Houellebecq,

Gotcha!

Hello dwd, I do really feel for your situation, but I wouldn't know the whole story from your ex-wifes perceptive as well, even if I did read your story via email.
You shouldn't tar all of us women with the same feathers either Dave!
We all have past histories to tell.
Mine comes from the position as a child of divorce. My Father treated my mother terribly, and there was a custody battle which he lost.
I still have a great relationship with him now that I am middle-aged.
So don't despair Dave, because when your son is old enough he will make his own mind up about his parents and if you are good to him, he will love you despite all that his mother tells him.
Good luck.

suzeonline, very well said.

Dave I've not been through what you have been through but have been through enough. The bit that Suze says about your child making up their own mind as they get older is something I've seen over and over again. At worst you might miss some very important years of childrens lives now but if you make sure that you are not the problem most will eventually want to find out about you for themselves.

Sometimes even the shorter term stuff turns around quite quickly.

R0bert

G'Day All,
Thanks Suzeonline & RObert. I do know what you are both saying the thing is by the time he would be able to do what he wanted I could be dead.
Suze' I try not to lump everyone in the one basket & I do appreciate individuality it is just that all women are sisters they just live in different houses.
The reason that I am fighting for my son is that I too was removed from my mum & it wasn't a thing that I wanted for my son.
The wedding vows that my wife gave was "I forsake my husband for all others" you have got to laugh or we will all be insane & laughter is a better sound than crying.
Anyway thanks again Suzeonline & RObert & all others as well from Dave.

Dave:”Thanks Suzeonline & RObert. I do know what you are both saying the thing is by the time he would be able to do what he wanted I could be dead.”

Or you could be in a position to do some amazing stuff for your boy and given where he has been placed and how you feel about it he may really really need you more than ever. This lost time and damage due to what has happened now can’t be reversed and hopefully he will come out the other side and learn who he is and who his father is.

There is a lack of information Dave which didn’t allow Suze or R0bert to leave a more informative responses but both seem to be telling you that no matter what has gone before it can still result in a good future, messages about having faith and remaining optimistic?

I’m on their side.[smile]

Dave when you are fighting for you son watch out that the fight does not do more harm than what you are fighting. I got to a point where I had to give into unworkable demands because my son was being harmed by the ongoing conflict. I had to watch further harm to him over the next year while he failed to cope with a variety of problems resulting from the living arrangements. A devistating time but stopping the fight allowed me to start to recover from the turmoil so I was in a better state to pick up the pieces. Since then I've seen a massive turn around in my son. I've had some good help along the way.

If you get to the point where you (or those who care for you) can see that the fight is hurting your son (or you more than is good for you) stop and focus on being ready for when you are needed. I ensured that there was a notation on the consent orders saying just what type of "consent" it was and why I'd accepted them then moved on.

Don't ever let the fight or winning become the goal, your son's welfare is the goal.

R0bert