Bullying has now become professional and institutionalised in last decade or so with leading one being Child Support Agency [and Family Law Industry in general].

Howard knew all he had to do was remove the gog given right to a bloke's day in court, so he did. Or at least he gave that impression by using Prof Parkinson as an expert consultant to "nobble" the legislation.

Now CSA does not even pretend that it acts legally, it simply says John Doe wants to "get" all those "deadbeats" and nobody says no. It's all very simple

Bullying should not be tolerated - wherever it occurs
or how subtle it may be. The fact remains it's wrong.
It has devastating effects. It makes people feel
lonely, unhappy, frightened. They become convinced that
there must be something wrong with them. They lose their
confidence, don't want to go to school, work, et cetera,
become ill, or at worse - commit suicide.

And all because some creep may think that this makes
them look tough and in charge or they may see this as
a way of being popular, or they're jealous of the person
they're bullying, or they don't understand how wrong
their behaviour is and how it makes the person being
bullied feel?

Bullies pick on people who're different in some way -
it can be the colour of their skin, they way they talk,
their size, their name, or they look like they won't
stand up for themselves. Whatever the reason - there's
no excuse for it. If it's in the workplace - and it's
happening - it needs to be reported - because whoever is
doing it - shouldn't be in that position. Incompetence
of an employee can be handled in a variety of ways -
but certainly bullying is not one of them.

We simply should not accept that sort of behaviour in our
society. It is damaging to us all.

DD, the CSA is a classic example of an organisation that is ripe for misuse through malicious compliance. It was started as art of a worthy desire to ensure that kids were properly looked after, but the Acts made it far too easy (and consequence-free) for a woman to create a great deal of trouble for her ex if so moved. I know you have a special interest in change of assessment determinations, which are a very blunt instrument indeed. It was the misuse of COAs that lead to my own disenchantment and decision not to cooperate with the CSA. My ex-wife has finally learnt that the only way to get money out of me is to leave the CSA out of it.

Pelican:"It is the perpetrators of bullying that often get away with it and usually the subordinate that has to leave"

Which is precisely the situation that confronts young male social mammals of all kinds, although sometimes abject submission will mean they can within the pack. Dogs are an obvious example. To the winner go the spoils, as someone has already pointed out.

I know it isn't as simple as I'm portraying, but I do believe it has a great deal to do with it. As women have moved into social niches previously occupied entirely by males, they are being exposed to situations that they were once largely sheltered from, including aggressive dominance-seeking. I suspect that this is behind a lot of the change in the perception of bullying, since women tend to feel threatened by such behaviour, even if they are not the target.

Male bullying is pretty straight-forward, usually, except for the rare sociopath. Trying to deal with it subtly is largely a waste of time. It is atavistic at its core and will probably always exist until we evolve into something not human.

'Some people seem to divide the world up into bullies and victims. Given that choice, most of us would rather be a bully. These people need help to see that, while everyone spends a little time in each role, particularly in their younger years, most of us aren't really victims without being bullies either.'

Good post benk. You've made the rest of the posters look pretty dim

It's easy to say bullying is wrong, but it can be a jungle out there.

I went to a few different schools. My experience at one of them, was that being a thin and fairly short guy, I was a perceived as an easy target.

However, I knew damn well that there are two kinds of bullying psychological/verbal and physical. When threatened with the latter, I'm not ashamed to admit that I responded with the former. When pushed around or insulted, I would go for the jugular with whatever smartass comment came to mind. If the bully threatening me was big and dumb, I'd call them stupid, retarded even, and make sure plenty of people heard. In other situations, I'd resort to pointing out that they were trying to pick on one of the smallest kids in the playground.

I suppose that was my way of biting back. I got beaten up a little, but fortunately I had friends who were bigger than I was who would help me if things got ugly. So yes, I guess I acted in a way bullies do as well. I would go on the offensive and I would aggressively insult others, even trying to capitalise on their insecurities.

Some might have viewed this as one of those smaller types bullying others. I'd respond that it wasn't mere insecurity provoking such outbursts, the verbal and physical threats I'd received were very real.

The result was that despite being small and far from athletic, I wasn't relentlessly bullied like some of those with poor social skills.

I make the point however, that later when I changed schools and there was a different atmosphere, I didn't behave like this at all.
I didn't need to.

My point is, that bullying can be a defensive measure employed against other bullies. It's not always as black and white as victim and bully.

>>Good post benk. You've made the rest of the posters look pretty dim.<<

We aren't all as smart and self-serving as you, H...q. Hey, what about being a bully from day one and tear off like the roadrunner so that I can get to them but no one can get to me. Then I always win and they always lose. That is an attitude I can't stomach, personally.

The fact that it slips off the tongue so easily with you says a fair bit about you.