This has been an interesting post to say the least!
The most interesting have been the Divorce Doctor and Antiseptic bringing the Family Court into the argument.

I am amazed that they think these courts 'bully' the men before them.
Have they seen the definitions of bullying posted by Foxy?

By bullying, I assume they think the women get the best deal in these courts.
But are all the judges male? If not, then it doesn't fit into this thread's subject of male on male bullying.

Houellebecq, I would hazard a guess that how you interact with RobP is a form of bullying, but you are certainly a master at the lowest form of wit- sarcasm.

Hi All,

Yes bullying is alive and well.
It happens in industry but it is not exclusive to it as one of the worst offenders is the Public Service, including those people who do not believe they are public servants; politicians.
Working in the Public service as an administrator of the apprenticeship system and adult training, required me frequently to attend the workplace to investigate complaints of bullying.
Usually tradesperson or labourers. Some apprentices were subject to horrific and sometimes potentially dangerous pranks. Employers chose to ignore it as "boys will be boys".
Employers were advised they were accountable and could be held equally to blame if they did not take appropriate action to stop it. I would advise I would be calling to monitor the situation and to ensure the apprentice was not victimised or threatened with the sack for complaining.
However, for every one complaint I attended, there were many others too afraid to complain of their treatment for fear of the “sack” or increased the bullying. One problem faced by officers was that they could not investigate a complaint unless an apprentice or trainee, parents or guardians laid the complaint.
The reason was if an apprentice or trainee was sacked due to an intervention by an officer, the department feared it would be held responsible.
Public service bullying was strange. Often it occurred when the incompetent seniors felt threatened and felt the person posing the threat had to be put in their place. Alternatively it might be threats from minority groups within that particular department or division.
Pettiness that should not happen within such an organization. I once acted as an advocate for an officer bullied to the extent that he had several strokes/heart attacks and was off on stress leave. Once he was better, he wanted to return to work but feared this particular manager would cause him to have more heart attacks, so he asked me to speak for him.
I did and successfully negotiated his work conditions, but also in the longer term was able to use my network to have the manager removed.

I remember ol' dear departed Col when he boasted that he didn't have any weaknesses. Later, I thought if he doesn't have any weaknesses, he doesn't have any strengths either. Boom boom. Empty barrel rolling down a flight of stairs from our resident Thatcherite. Ring any bells, Hq? After all, you and he did hang upside down nibbling fruit from the same tree.

>>But if any of you had any guts, you'd relate stories of when you were the bully.<<

Good try, Hq. Why exactly would anyone give you a get-out-of-jail card? Anyone can see you are the biggest bully going around that wants to now wriggle off the hook, by pretending he never did nuthin' and wanting someone else to give you your alibi to boot.

But you're right. Most people are the "bully" in the relationship at some stage. The yin-yang principle is all-pervasive and it takes a very strong and wise person to always stay on the right side of it. Basically, to do so you have to have hit the ground running from year dot and never make a mistake - in either your micro or macro existence - from that time on. I have done some bullying mainly out of frustration, but have generally felt bad/wrong about it the few times I knowingly did it. (The times it played on my mind, I made a wish that the person on the receiving end would be strengthened by my action.) I've also been on the receiving end a few times, so maybe that was karma for something I unknowingly or indirectly did to someone else. I accept the full reciprocity and that it's good for my personal development and that it is all part of the requisite atonement.

And these are the reasons I'd like to see an end to the practice in all its forms.

<"I remember ol' dear departed Col when ... ">

Where is Col?

I've been wondering what happened to him.

I don't believe that there is any similarity with yin and yang, or that people are forever doomed to cycle between being a persecutor or a victim.

In fact few people are bullies or victims and for most people their encounters with bullies, more specifically where they are personally affected/targeted by a bully, are mercifully brief and unusual enough to be remembered as singularly unpleasant experiences.

Usually we can give bullies a swerve, even if that means temporary forgoing something we might want. Although some are so clever at their game and in getting what they want that we have to dust ourselves off afterwards and probably not fully understanding all that went down.

Foxy's bullying description from the EEO policy, James Cook University, is rooted in the traditional 'bully-boy' stereotype of bullying and is far too limited as a result, missing the very clever, manipulative bullies who are very effective at communication and whose knowledge of the black arts, especially from psychology and rhetoric render most other people as putty in their hands. As I noted earlier, organisational restructuring provided jobs for skilled bullies, as managers or consultants who could 'unfreeze' (read as disrupt) work groups and working relationships and 'encourage' 'mobility' (force people to fall on their swords).

That is not to say that all 'change agents' were bullies but CEOs were smart enough to recognise the usefulness of the considerable informal power of bullying to quickly and economically achieve the results they wanted. It helped that some CEOs were not short on skills in the black arts themselves.

contd..

Bullying, as opposed to the ethical use of legitimate power and persuasion, is common in management and public life because it is cheap and effective and because those who prefer it as a negotiation strategy are highly skilled at it, have long experience in applying their 'skill set' and have consistently 'won' from applying their skills. It is also a shield to deter and deflect inconvenient questions and review. (I have used inverted commas not because these are not identifiable knowledge and skills, but because I regard them as unprincipled and inappropriate.)

Just think, bullying skills could help make your partner your bitch for as long as s/he is prepared to put up with it, or it could give you that leg up above the opposition to become the leader of a political party or even Governor-General. It just depends on your intellect, contacts and ambition.

True, some bullies are as envisioned by the J C Uni's EEO policy - weak individuals with poor communication to be pitied - however where bullying is concerned they are the exception, not the rule.

Maybe it is more fruitful to concentrate on ethics not bullying, the latter being only one element of moral decision making.