Thanks for your contribution, Kalweb, live long and prosper. The other element of mainstream law that is trashed under the so called family law system is everyone's right not to be defamed. When my brother separated the false and defamatory material about him was breathtaking. It was all sourced from only one, very obvious individual without the slightest hint of acting in good faith. This stuff, in a small community, was far more emotionally draining than the original emotional abuse in the marriage but the truth, ultimately, came through. You see, the strain he was under meant that he was often mistaken for my older brother. But he soon found a supportive partner. They live close by but visit often, as the song goes, and he is now a regular victim, and perpetrator, of random acts of gratuitous nurturing. He now looks his age and the contrast is so pronounced that everyone who knew his old self now understands exactly who was the abuser and who was the victim

Hamlet, a beautiful post - thanks. I understand where you are coming from, I had some similar issues. I took the view that I was released from my commitment when the ex decided to walk out (again).

I missed putting short seperations on my list of steps for upping the ante when forcing an issue. Each of us has to decide for themselves how far the other party can breach the core committment before the contract is void. I'm of the view that the world would be a better place if more people took their commitments as seriously as you do.

enaj, I agree with much of what you say and at the same time with many of Maximus's comments. Hamlet's comments about control are at the core of a lot of this. The extremists on both sides of these kinds of issue keep missing the boat, both men and women have copped some rough deals throughout history. Surely the image of the wowser old lady (Rhona Joiner) running the "spot it and stop it" committee is just as valid as that of the puritanical old man (Fred Nile) trying to decree how others shall live. Somewhat outside the physical abuse issue but probably part of the kind of attitudes that contribute to DV.

Cheers
R0bert

As I have already said; of course there are women who have mistreated men, and there are men who have mistreated men and women who have mistreated women. Just as there are black people who have mistreated white people and black people who have mistreated black people and white people who have mistreated black people, etc, etc, etc. The difference is when such behaviour has been enshrined in law, like apartheid or the racial segregation laws in the Deep South, or in the woman-controlling societies Waleed is talking about, or places with Sharia law, then we are talking about systemic oppression, not simply individual.
And you simply cannot equate male circumcision with female circumcision. Taking the foreskin is entirely different from excising the clitoris, and sewing the labia together leaving a tiny hole to pee out of. Female circumcision doesn't just remove all pleasure from sex (you'd have to cut off a man's penis to do the equivalent), it causes all sex to be excrutiatingly painful, and makes childbirth not just agonising but deadly dangerous.
And , of course, not all men oppress all women, but in some societies law, religion and culture can conspire to make it seem that way.

And as I have already said, female circumcision is a woman/girl issue so it has nothing to do with alleged systemic oppression of women by men. And in some societies law, religion and culture do conspire to make men's lives extremely miserable and thanks to things like White Ribbon Day in Western societies, it makes men appear as demons and doesn't make anything whatsoever better. It is an affront to all good decent men and women, the majority, and it should not be tolerated, because it perpetuates a gross lie.

Real family violence is a non-sexist crime and until it is treated like that there can be no meaningful resolution for the shocking thing that it is. Those genuine people who suffer real pain and real heartfelt isolation caused by family violence - especially the children - need real help, not just man-bashing propaganda from the lunatic feminist-left.

I know, because I was one of those kids, thanks to an aggressive mother, who destroyed my happy life as a child and drove my father out of his own home and out of my life forever. Both are deceased now, but I don't know if I can ever find it inside to forgive her.

But hey, that's life. Best just move on, get over it and try to live a better life.

Maximus

I find it difficult to believe that you actually believe what you have written about female circumcision.

It's a woman/female issue? It's not about oppression of women by male persons?

Sounds like you are trying to stir up a very nasty argument.

It is only a female issue in the sense that females are victims of such barbaric practices perpetrated by men.

Enaj's description and assertions regarding female circumcision are accurate and valid.

Kay

enaj, I guessing that you and I are focussing one different ends of the article. Much of the first part of the article has little to do with the situation in mainstream australian society. It is however vitally important to understand when we think about what is happening for others. Because of my own experience I'm somewhat more focussed on the second part of the article and the issues around family violence in mainstream Australian society.

Maximus and Kay - I know very little about the practice of FGM. I did do some searching following Kay's post and found some interesting snippets. From http://www.questia.com/PM.qst?a=o&d=5001116976

"...studies that systematically investigate the sexual feelings of women and men in societies where genital surgeries are found are rare, and the scant information that is available calls into question the assertion that female genital surgeries are fundamentally antithetical to women's sexuality and incompatible with sexual enjoyment."

"Those who practice some of the most controversial of such customs--clitoridectomy, polygamy, the marriage of children or marriages that are otherwise coerced--sometimes explicitly defend them as necessary for controlling women and openly acknowledge that the customs persist at men's insistence."

"It is difficult for me--considering the number of ceremonies I have observed, including my own--to accept that what appear to be expressions of joy and ecstatic celebrations of womanhood in actuality disguise hidden experiences of coercion and subjugation. Indeed, I offer that the bulk of Kono women who uphold these rituals do so because they want to--they relish the supernatural powers of their ritual leaders over against men in society, and they brace the legitimacy of female authority and, particularly, the authority of their mothers and grandmothers."

Also an interesting read at http://www.members.tripod.com/~Wolvesdreams/FGM.html - not sure how credible it is but intersting discussion on Muslims and FGM.

R0bert