Violence against family is not an just an Islamic practice, though male dominance is part of that tradition.
Family violence is apparent in every society and is often the realm of the cowardly bully who has expectations that the world owes him much.
It was in my family. A father who could not control his drinking, who had to be totally avoided until he had fallen asleep because at a certain stage he became aggressive towards who ever got in his way.
People who commit violence are cowards.People who commit violence are bullies. And no amount of psychobabble will excuse their yellow spines.

Hamlet

Your post reminded me so much (sadly) of rampart feminists with whom I have worked. They do not countenance that women can be "bashers".

Yes, I agree. The Feminist Lesbian Movement has a lot to answer for. As a psych nurse of some 30 years, I could not believe their violence. Even worse than my previous bashing husband.

I agree with RObert - get out. You are not helping anyone - let alone yourself. Get out and help youself. I did. See above. Have now been happily married for the past 10 years. My husband and I have a wonderful life.

I wish you well.

And to the cynics domestic violence occurs across all religions and cultures. I know. I have nursed or counselled them for the past 30 years.

Elderly verbal and financial abuse is rife.

Regards
Kay

Michael Duffy reported on a study showing that social workers had a grossly inflated idea of how often fathers hit and sexually abused their children. In "Reality check on anti-fatherhood theory" Courier Mail 15/5/99, Duffy said half of 313 family social workers surveyed by the Dept. of Family and Community believed that up to a quarter of all fathers physically abused their children. Almost a third believed the same percentage sexually abused their children. "The people conducting the survey did a reality check on these responses, asking a large number of randomly selected children aged 5 to 11 if they had been abused. The proportion which had? One percent". But, "When then-Family Services Minister Rosemary Crowley was questioned about the validity of the one-in-three claim she replied, "why are you worried about a little bit of wrong analysis?""

The reason we should all be worried about it came home to me recently when my brother went through a difficult divorce where he was clearly being goaded to hit a wife who was obviously well briefed on tactical matters. He had twice broken his own hand by punching walls rather than his tormenter. He finally decided to get out when he realised that he was being driven to self mutilation. But before leaving he pushed her out of bed and this triggered the whole Aprehended Violence farce. Taking out an AVO is now standard operating procedure to enable the wife to retain possession of the family home.

The entire system has been designed to deal with a grossly exaggerated situation and can only ever amount to a disproportionate treatment of men by the system. Little wonder there are more complaints about family law than any other field. False statements and malicious acts in bad faith that would render the protagonist in contempt of a normal court are tollerated in family law. It is as if the whole body of rights and obligations have been subordinated to some sort of divine right of women to demonstrate that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. You are a disgrace, sisters.

Persius - female here. I agree.

BD, your faith in my strenght of character is unfortunately slightly inflated. On one occasion I did try hitting back - two light open handed slaps. I have mixed feelings about doing so, mostly shame.

It was a deliberate attempt to try and stop the hitting and if that logic seems twisted to readers I can only say I was desperate and not coping well at the time. My ex totally failed to make any kind of connection between the violence she was dishing out and my response. Many of our friends and family were rung and informed that I had assaulted her, somehow slipped her mind to mention that she had punched me first on that occasion and previous fights. A doctor was visited to get a record of bruises (there were none from the slaps so I don't know what he was shown).

If it is any comfort to those who would judge me by that one action I would like to point out that during an argument which followed a month or so later I was punched 6 to 8 times and did not return the violence, nor ever again.

My reason for sharing this. I value truth and BD made a mistaken claim which my silence would have made a lie of. I also have some hope that my story will give a bit of understanding of one the consequences of the lack of publicity about violence against men. Guys who are on the receiving end often have nowhere to turn, no idea how to get it to stop.

The person initiating the violence has no clear message comming from society that what they are doing is wrong, if anything the message is one of justification. Your smaller you would not have really hurt him anyway, you must have been really upset etc.

R0bert

While admiring the courage of Jehan Khan Niazi I hope that if for example one of his daughters wished to marry a non Muslim (forbidden under Muslim law, a man may marry a Jew or Christian but a women can only marry a Muslim)that he would have the courage to say that: I have educated you daughter and I respect your choice.

However, such a choice would be too much to ask somebody living in Pakistan but if he was living in Australia I hope he would respect his daughter's right to marry whom-so-ever she choose. Sadly however, experience shows that such courage is not often found among Muslims living in the West--would that it were different.