Waleed Aly has tried the most tired and unclever ploy,if the untidiness of your own backyard is about to be revealed,shoot the messenger by tarring others with your own foibles.

Several points: There is an old saying about walking a mile in a man's shoes....

I thank those who have recommended that I leave my wife, however I have only given a sketch of the overall situation: I have not mentioned the threats to harass me, my family and my work if I was to leave her. I have not mentioned the good chance that I would be left with virtually nothing if I left, and at almost 50 it would be harder to start again, in terms of finances, employment and accommodation, than live in hope, and that I would not risk repartnering.

To Whattha, and your comment about your daughters and men. I am sorry that you feel that way, but with your attitude it is likely that they would never have to experience men as partners at all, but just remember that lesbian relationships are just as violent.

Boaz_David, yes, I have considered the Matthew 18:15 passage, and yes, the people at the church that I attend have been very supportive.

I don’t excuse the violence that men can perpetrate; I only ask that women’s violence be acknowledged. The standard response the women’s violence, as espoused by Relationships Australia and other organisations, is that when a man gets pushed to his limit he should simply take time out, to take a walk, to get away.

There is no mention of the responsibility of women.

The response that a man should take a walk, go for a jog, spend the night at a friend’s place, or find an open motel, is a good and appropriate one. I have spent hours sitting in the car, or in a neighbour’s spare bed, waiting for the right time to go home.

There is no excuse for man to be violent towards a woman or a child. Understanding, yes, excuse, no. It is better for a man to be violent to himself than to provide a woman with an excuse for her own abusive actions and violence.

There is no cultural excuse for domination or exercise of power in relationships either.

Hamlet

I truely despair for you and other men in your predicament. I still say - leave.

So what if you lose financially? Better that than your mental health. You clearly have no quality of life. I spent 13 years terrified and hiding - holding down a full time job and tertiary studies (external mode) - whilst he did not work. Like you, I spent many nights in cars and other people's homes. I purchased 10 cars in 13 years because he smashed them all up when he was drink driving.

When the knife came out, that was it for me. He was a liar and a bludger - and oh so charismatic. He did not work, and only had $3000 equity on our home. I was the one with the morgage. He played the game of disability - supported by his stupid GP. The Family Law Court ordered me to pay him maintenance until he reached 65 years. What a joke. I paid him three years in advance. Last I heard he was living in Her Majesty's Hotel for 13 drink driving charges.

My solicitor suggested that I move overseas because of his violence. I could not do that, but I did move to another state. He harrassed me for a while at my workplace. My boss pissed him off.

I lost the house because I could not pay his half out - even though his only input was $3000!

What the heck? I later met a wonderful man. We celebrate our 10th Wedding Anniversary next year. He left his previous marriage with an eski. We are very happy. You can do it too.

Mental health is far more important than anything material. And mental health includes loving and being loved. I do not detect same in your posts.

Yes, it's about time that Domestic Violence Counsellors (usually radical leftist Lesbian Feminists)stand up to account for the damage that they have done to male victims of domestic violence.

Good luck mate
Kay

G'day All

Any of you read this?

HERALD SUN
Police told to respect traditions
Liam Houlihan, religious affairs reporter
25oct05

POLICE are being advised to treat Muslim domestic violence cases differently out of respect for Islamic traditions and habits.

Officers are also being urged to work with Muslim leaders, who will try to keep the families together.

Women's groups are concerned the politically correct policing could give comfort to wife bashers and keep their victims in a cycle of violence.

The guide also advises officers not to hold interviews with Aboriginal suspects or set court hearings during Aboriginal ceremonies involving "initiation, birth, death, burials, mourning periods, women's meetings and cultural ceremonies in general".

They are told to interview Baha'i suspects only after sunset in the fasting month.

And they are cautioned that when a Sikh is reading the Sikh Holy Script -- a process that normally takes 50 hours -- "he should not be disturbed"

They are warned that taking photos or samples from Aboriginal suspects could raise fears they could be used for sorcery and spiritual mischief.

Go to this link....http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/printpage/0,5481,17026063,00.html

To read the whole article it may not be active but I've saved it if any of my fellow 'racists and islamophobes' want a copy then write to me here carnifexmaximvs@yahoo.co.uk may take a few days to get back to you but I will.

I'd love to get a copy of that booklet.

Its good to see men here posting about the reality of a womans gentle, kind, caring and nurturing sides. The fem propaganda has flown for so long now its almost like beleiving in the racial inferiority the flew back in 1930s Europe. The political ideologues have done a stellar job in promoting lies. If it were not for the internet what voice would the silent majority ever get to express. The mainstream media just pumps out a view that supports the status quo.

In any event any man who has had anything of an experience with women outside of fairytale story books knows the truth, even if no one wants to hear it. Ah, well, l put it down to the reality of being a man living in a man's world... which essentially means "take it liek a man (shut up and dont complain). Like Warren Farrel says "women cant hear what men dont say". It seems to me these days that not only can women not hear what we dont say but they dont really want to hear it. Their silence on these matters is deafening.

A couple of interesting realities emerge from domestic violence against men and the stacked family courts. Firstly, cut your losses early. At the first sign of violence (including psychological and emotional)... end the relationship and find someone who respects you. Its easier to recover sooner than later. Secondly, dont let the fear of retribution and financial rape stop you. There are many things one can do to prepare for a divorce to ensure you get out with a fair and reasonable share of your own legacy. Start with a search on divorce tactics. Many books have been written. The ones targeted to women certainly dont pull their punches. They are useful in learning what you may anticipate and also very useful in determining tactics you may use.

Men, dont take the abuse. Stand up for yourself. Make a better life for yourself and confront the truth about your virtual enslavement to the whims of those with deep problems. If she has more issues than a magazine rack there is pretty much nothing you can do beyond getting a phd in mental therapy and spemding a lifetime bogged down in playing captain free therapist.

Move on brothers.