Welcome to OLO V.Amberlee. You should feel privileged, as your post is technically in violation of OLO forum rules because it promotes the sale of your book. Don't be put off by the fact that all but one who has posted to your topic has pointed out this transgression. It is not that they are unfriendly, but they're simply used to having to comply with pretty strict forum rules, rules designed to maintain the quality of debate and discussion.

The OLO Forum is, after all, perhaps the pre-eminent forum in all Australia for the generation of public policy ideas and political discussion! Such brainstorming surely does not seem to happen very much in our various Parliaments these days, but someone has to do this dirty job of fixing the country up! Belly and RObert are but two who are shouldering this load: there are many others, most simply too busy on other threads with this important task to offer you any encouragement. If, however, you wish to demonstrate your sincerity and interest by contributing to the discussion, welcome to a ringside seat at the National Policy Circus.

I guess, from your website hit counter showing only 47 hits, that you are promoting your book yourself. Full marks for trying. Just how relevant your experiences may be to an Australian readership, when differences in the legal and economic environment between the US and Australia are taken into account, remains to be seen. It just shows what a reasonable guy Graham Y, the National Forum Administrator, is, that the topic even got up. Whatever his faults, and he must have some, dealing unfairly with genuine contributors is not normally one of them.

To illustrate just how fortunate you were to have your topic listed, I will show you a general discussion opening post of mine that Graham Y had to decline to list on OLO several months ago; perhaps declined for good reason at the time, I might add, on grounds he feared the public may have been misled by its content. With that risk now past, voila!

Country Gal, I'm assuming that you mean locations which are so far apart that dropping kids to school becomes unworkable from one of the homes.

Probably not long term. We worked it for a while after my ex moved to another city (she stayed with friends near here a couple of days a week). That was never going to be viable long term, rather it was a tactic she used to ensure I could not oppose her moving out of the area. At the time she still worked one day a week near here. Not long after she went to court seeking a change in residency because all the travel was to hard on our son.

The practical issues may get extremely difficult in some rural areas and I don't know if there are good answers to that. Not a lot of options for accomodation or jobs closeby once you move off the farm. For the most part though I don't think that a lot of those choosing to do it alone do so for practical reasons. Some for legitimate safety reaons but in terms of child safety last time I saw stats on it single parent male lead households had a slightly lower rate of substantiated abuse and neglect than female lead ones so no basis there for generic maternal bias.

I've heard so many stories of women going for either a sea or tree change following divorce. Moving away from where they used to live and the other parent. Unless there are compelling reasons for it to be otherwise I think residency should stay within a fairly small radius of where the family resided prior to seperation.

R0bert

V
The posters have been very kind to you.
I cant get your link to open but i would like to know why you decided to be a single Mum.
Did you set out to have children without the formals?
Or did you seperate?
Thats makes a big difference.
Personally I feel there should be no single parent allowed to have a child unless they can support it.
If you are seperated thats another story I suppose.
Good luck with your book and welcome to OLO.
Its sure to take your mind off household chores for a while.
Clearly you have the protential and the will to think for yourself.

Try to think what else you can do to support yourself.
Sometimes the answer is just around the corner.
You may find a local newspaper wanting staff in the adversting section.
There is always a need for people to assist others to get their adds completed.
If you have a gift with words somebody like you would be snapped up quickly.
From there if you work hard you might be able to secure a job as a Journo with a few courses.
You can get these courses through the Goverment at no charge to yourself and they will also pay for childcare while you study.
Lucky for you your in Australia where anything is possible.

How old are your chidlen?

Best wishe

Robert
Most people who move after a seperation do so because they can no longer afford to stay where they were on one income.
For goodness sake you cant tell people where to live Robert.
I cant beleive you said that.
People live mainly where they can afford or where they get jobs.
of course if the male were to pay all of the costs for his kids while mum looked after their daily 24 hour needs- thats might be different.
The counter argument for that of course is its very unfair on the children of the second marraige and the second wives.
I have sen cases where both parents work to pay for the first wife and kids to live in a fashion they can only dream of.
There are no fair answers Robert.
Everybodys case is different.
Parhaps the Government could fifty fifty fund the fathers to travel four times a year to visit their children SO LONG AS THEY ARE PAYING towards keeping their kids as so many dont

I would like to tell of how it once was 25 years ago, just one case but if you look you may find it was common then.
A young wife found another younger man, left he spouse of 9 years in one swift overnight move.
Both her and her new man hide the 2 children from dad, court orders in hand dad went after his kids.
He failed to find them, for a while he got loving letters sent without mum ever knowing.
But they stopped.
Mum broke up with new bloke and two others, this information came after one of the kids found an uncle while searching for his dads grave!
Mum had told the kids dad had died.
I know the uncle very well, I know the dad, and I know it was very bad back then.
Some parents do take children as far away as they can, it is an evil act.
We can do much better.
Right now a mum has sworn to never let the father see his kids, it hurts to know no bashing ,no neglect nothing but very much in love one day and at war the next.
Children first aways.
By the way bet we never hear from the threads author again.

PALE, "For goodness sake you cant tell people where to live Robert."
No PALE I don't want to tell them where to live but if a sea change is more important than the kids then prime care should go to the other parent (assuming they are willing to take that on). In my case I moved to the other side of our suburb, I could not afford to stay in the part I had been in previously.

As for most moves being about economics, if they were in an expensive suburb prior to seperation there is generally a cheaper one nearby. Moving to the coast or bush is not likely to open up a whole bunch of extra job opportunities that did not exist where they lived before.

What is the horror in this is taking kids away from good parents because it suits the lifestyle aspirations of one. Of having a so called child support system that penalises the other parent if they take a lower paid job to be closer to their kids or better care for them.

If you are opposed to the idea of telling people where they can live (or them accepting consequences for placing lifestyle above children) how are you on the telling people how much they have to earn? Our current system does that quite openly, it's called "capacity to earn" and it takes no account of the actual changes which occur following a relationship breakup.

R0bert