Platypus 1900,

I wonder how many PhD holders et al weren't whopped with a cane when they were very young?

I recognise a petty fiefdom when I see one.

I'm afraid your story says much more about you than it does about your children.

Some people grab any chance they can for a will to power amidst their ineffectual experience of the world - parenthood offers them an opportunity to throw their weight around under whichever guise they choose.

Discipline....it's a shame you weren't better equipped to "discipline" without resorting to utilising a weapon with which to inflict pain.

@poirot

(1)
i came back from my sax lesson last night
my teacher is 75 yo originally from holland
spent his entire adult life in victoria and nsw as a teacher in public schools and in the ministry
i asked him about this topic

he said he was spanked when he was young
i asked if it was light or hard spanking
he said often hard
i then ask if light caning is worse than hand spanking
he said no difference if the child is not injured
i then asked him...as long as it hurts?
he then smiled... if it does not hurt, what is the point?

i then asked if he spanked his children
he looked at me in bewilderment... 'of course'

i then asked him what he thinks of people like you
he smiled and said "leave them to their views"
i then said " i told them to let me discipline my children the way i deem fit but they call me all sorts of names"

we then carried on with better things in life like playing the sax

(2)
i told my vet daughter about our discussion
she then related an incident in her hospital
a white lady came in with her 3 year old son
who literally tore the place apart
what the white lady did will be what you will be doing
" now Tom, behave yourself"
"Tom, that is not the way to behave in the public"
"Now Tom, I am trying to reason with you without getting upset."

when they left, another vet from Manchester (UK) shook her head and said
"that little brat needs a tough spanking on the spot"

You know we can continue ad-infinitum

Can we leave this as it is or are you going to accuse me of running away?

@runner

amen.
i didnt know i was dealing with the left
sounds like communist socialism?
i have been called names...threatened with police and they dont even know me
all i asked for is to leave me alone to bring up my family
maybe they should come visit me and see we have a very loving, functional family like yours...as we do punish our children when they go off track

young children, from 2 years old (give or take a year) KNOWS what is happening and they are learning
they are learning what is right and what is wrong
they are far too young to understand many issues on morals and social norms
and often, they are too young to reason with

so they test boundaries, that is how they learn
as responsible parents, it is our duty to pass down what we hold to be the right values (each will have to decide what is good for us, you and i chose the bible as our standard, buddhists will chose the sutras, unbelievers like a few members here will teach what they culled from their unbelieving parents or peers)

problem is when parents do not send clear right and wrong signals when their children test the boundary line.
they try to reason... but when the kids do not respond positively, they give up and let them grow up 'naturally'
no spanking (hard or otherwise)
the poor kids will keep pushing the boundaries
some manage to find ther reference points from peers
some from teachers
some from books
and you get an entire generation of kids grappling with moral issues and on what is right or wrong social behaviour

we want our children to learn from us
NOT from their peers (many are not even brought up well...many of them have parents who need to be brought up well in the first place)

no wonder graffiti and vandalism and bad behavior is so rampant in our country

Platypus,

I agree that providing stable boundaries is the best way to instill discipline.

Children thrive with definitive boundaries.

I still maintain that children can toe the line without being hit with a cane....ours have.

Neither of my children have run around and torn up a place - neither have they been beaten with a cane (makes you wonder, eh?)

I find it amazing that you believe if you hadn't whacked your children with a cane, they would have been criminals or vandals.....doesn't say much for the rest of your repertoire.

@
poirot

NO NO
I do not think they will 100% be criminals
please dont put words in my mouth

discipling them involved a whole gamut of issues

I am glad your children turn out well
I rejoice with you.

it is all about percentages
how many parents are like you...blessed with obedient children who turns out well to reasoning from 2-12...14...16?

please dont use colorful words like 'whacked with a cane'
or 'belted' like other members would like to think i am guilty of

anyway, enough said?

can we move on?

i would like to end our discussion on a nice note?

Dear platypus1900,

Don't you dare try deflect the issue by bandying around terms like communism and socialism. What this is really about is you wanting to get away with Old Testament values and practices (He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.) in a modern world. We are saying it is not on.

Are you not a bully sir? You certainly are exhibiting a bully's behaviour, not only toward your children but the way you have conducted yourself here.

Look at the title of your thread; “Let no man tell me how I should discipline my children”. It rings of the typical playground bully saying I'm going to do what I want, whenever I want, and don't you dare criticise me for it.

And when you do get pulled up and challenged you go to water basically claiming the other children have called you names, threatened to tell the teacher on you, and now you want to go home. A typical bully's response.

Just for the record I'm struggling to find anyone who threatened to dob you into the police. I did promise you a boot up the backside which I would probably round out with a couple of clips under the ears for good measure if I found you caning a two year old. But you should completely understand this reaction because attempting to resolve issues with violence is something you are obviously more than comfortable with.

So if you want to sook up and waddle off that is up to you but don't try and claim any martyrdom, that luxury isn't afforded to those who have their heart set on caning two year olds.