As I said, there's no way he actually caned a 2 year old.

If he had that 2 year old would have been prime minister by now.

platypus I am human I have smacked my children on the odd occasion. But I am not proud of it like you. I don't see it as some sign I am a good parent, and I accept people will judge me. If I was quicker thinking and had better composure I could have thought of an alternative.

I don't kid myself that I 'needed' to. You can escalate punishment or you can think outside the square. You have to find their currency. In an arms race, how far will you go. Warnings, threats, bribes, withholding stuff, manipulation, emotional blackmail, smacking, caning, if all that doesn't work what's next, punch in the face? If that doesn't work....

Best to keep control of the situation and have your next move planned. If you go to smacking too soon you don't have many palatable options left now do you. Best to keep your powder dry.

One does wonder how a child who cant be reasoned with until 12 years of age ends up PhD graduate. I suppose conformity under the threat of violence is good preparation for society.

I can reason pretty well with my 5 year old. Maybe it's the absence of the fear of violence:-)

@ hou

so you did smack your children

was it when you were out of control or your child was out of control?

how hard did you smack?
1= caress
10= blood letting

a 2 or a 3 or a 7?

which one should poirot report you to the authority for?

was your child emotionally scarred as a result of those smacks?
since you are loving and never dreamt of even lifting a last finger on him or her?
i am sure he/she must have cried his/her heart out

ok ok
sorry of the cheeky rhetorics

have a good day

to all the well mannered members here who do not hurl abuses or vitriolic remarks

we had a good discussion and i do believe i have said my peace and i have nothing else to add

with your kind permission, this will be my last post for this thread

peace and may you all bring up your children you know how, for a better australia

Platypus,

"which one should poirot report you to the authority for?"

Who said anything about reporting to authorities?

I've been discussing your "past" regime of caning your young children.

I'm interested in this comment:

"to all the well mannered members here who do not hurl abuses or vitriolic remarks"

I know you'll include me in your little salute.

Or is it that, although you started a thread to trumpet your style of discipline, that you assume people who challenge it are engaging in hurling abuse and vitriol?

'so you did smack your children'
Yes. I don't see where the confusion lies.

'was it when you were out of control or your child was out of control?'
Both

'how hard did you smack?
1= caress
10= blood letting'

3

'which one should poirot report you to the authority for?'

I believe people should report any parent that uses a weapon like a cane, that leaves a mark, or generally seems to use violence as a first option.

'was your child emotionally scarred as a result of those smacks?'

Too soon to tell. It's far too subjective a call for even the best psychiatrist to make. I think emotional scarring is inevitable in any person no matter how well adjusted, whether smacked or not. Parents are far from perfect and have many competing messages to attempt to convey at just the right time in their child's life so they can be accurately interpreted, and that's even allowing for overcompensation from their own flawed upbringings.

'i am sure he/she must have cried his/her heart out'

Of course.

Are you telling me when you used a weapon to beat your children that they didn't cry because you forced them to parrot that you loved them?

Do you not think that was a very confusing message for them, to be beaten with love, and do you not think it self serving and manipulative that you coerced this declaration from them to assuage your guilt for striking them? This guilt you have is very obviously illustrated by that behavior, and how defensive you are here.

Did you actually really use a cane on a 2 year old, or are you just prone to hyperbole?

Why does it excite you so much that I have on occasion smacked my children? Do you think it somehow justifies your own actions? I'm not proud of doing that, so why do you feel that action supports your opinion that it is good for kids to be caned