"dad...we knew we deserved the punishment"

If you bring a kid up hitting them and telling them it's because you love them, of course they're going to say that.

You'd get a rude shock if you heard what they say, in private, to their partners, when they're not still obediently singing the family tune or trying to assuage the guilt they suspect you must feel.

Look people are born in different environments and they take the family rules and roles as normal, and they play along in habit or some sense of loyalty or in order not to explode their core beliefs put their by their parents, but really if you knew food and sleep and routine and distraction wold work, would you still hit your kids.

Do you do it so you don't have to think of your parents as abusive?

Of course we're talking about degrees, and it's a mater of how hard or how often etc, but you guys seem to be trying to out-do each other with stories of caning 2 year olds.

Houellie,

"The easiest way to control kids I reckon is sleep, good food, routine, consistency, and showing a good example. In that order. It's amazing how many middle class parents ignore sleep and routine, and are a bit anal on the food. Nobody is totally consistent but some try harder than others."

Oh yeah....you are so right.

That's the most balanced comment on this thread.

(Houellie's a wise parent!)

Just think of life as a kid.

You have absolutely no autonomy and have no idea what is going to happen when you wake up, no concept of time, and haven't the communication skills to convey your needs and wants.

Living like this is much easier if you can at least get 10 mins warning when you're about to be taken home, get cues like baths and books to tell you to wind down as it will be bed time soon, and have had a good sleep and be well fed to help you deal with the stress and the energy you expend, and be dealt with in a consistent manner so you can work out actions and consequences in any reliable way.

People expect so much of kids sometimes. Put an adult in the same situation and they'd crumble and be crying their eyes out.

You're sitting having a conversation with friends, and someone picks you up and straps you into a car and takes you home. You have no idea what time anything is going to happen. You only get the equivalent of 4 hours sleep, and have to live off junk food, and your boss is totally unpredictable and even starts yelling and hitting you when you don't comply instantly, even if you don't understand.

platypus1900,
"i note you have a habit of using colored words and painting such horrific pictures"

and yet you opened a thread which is mostly about the legal termination of a pregnancy with the word 'murdering' in the title to describe that action.

Some double standards maybe.

As for your earlier question. If I came across you doing anything like caning as I recall it to a 2 year old I'd be taking some action. That goes well beyond and sane concept of child discipline.

For the sake of not breaching forum rules on flaming I won't speculate further on the motivations for the use of a cane on a 2 year old but take it that I don't consider that extreme in a good light.

R0bert

@rob
but i do think that is murder
how else would you describe the intentional termination of a human life, especially your own?

@hou
we do think from a child's pov when we bring up our kids
like before we leave a playground, we will always ask
'darlings...time to go...ok?'
and if they ask for more time, we will always give them that 15 min or 30 mins.

just because i do not subscribe to the stds and methodology of quite a few of the members here, i have been branded an evil wicked rotan wielding step father

would you change your mind if you had a chance to speak to my grown up kids?
and ask them what they thought of then and now?

no...i do not boast of the caning
i wished there was no need at all
i assure you there is no competition here
but unfortunately there were times that i needed to

i note you smacked your kids
you did?
really?

platypus,

"no...i do not boast of the caning"

You don't?

"I have 3 grown up adult children.
The first is a PhD graduate.
The second is successful vet.
The third is a teacher in Chemistry.

All of them were caned when they were young.
I discipline them when they are from 2-12 years old
After that, the canes are thrown away.
They are then old enough to reason with.

Now they are all grown up with successful careers and happily married."

Yes you do......