In all honesty do you think that is what I am saying Belly? That women are never controlling. Sheesh...setting me up as a 'challenger' of free speech is a strawman approach.

Inherent in the concept of free speech is the right to respond to a thread designed to paint women in a negative light. You are a basically nice bloke and my response would have been the same if the thread made generalisations about men in the same way ie. that men are control freaks.

It is stating the obvious that some women (and men) are controlling - why raise it?

I am merely saying the subject matter goes against your usual egalitarian nature and particularly given the tendency for OLO discussions of this nature to end up in a woman bashing contest. It seems a bit like stirring the pot.

If you meant it in a humorous context it did not come across like that to me, but I am but an imperfect human being, so maybe I got it wrong. At least some of the posts were humorous as you point out.

Pelican this much you can believe about me.
I dislike any form of pain people suffer needlessly regardless of sex.
First few replies to this thread questioned me.
For raising it.
Yet is the question are SOME women too controlling not open for discussion?
How then do we put together a list of what else is not to be spoken about.
And in what way is that ban helpful?
Can we fix problems without knowing them.
We squabble over existance of God.
I now am unsure, why did I start this thread.
I thought I wanted to observe the changes in Male Female relation ships in just my lifetime.
To highlight SOME modern women, want a man to be, *just gay enough/controllable*
The very basis of our relation may have started to change, in my view needed to, with the invention of the pill.
A woman is free to write books about female unique, can I speak of the few, maybe not so few, women who own their men, until like a bird in a cadge SOME find the chance to fly away.
I truly am perplexed, is your dislike of the threads direction a fire wall around all women or just some.

Belly if I can take your points one by one.

'I dislike any form of pain people suffer needlessly regardless of sex.'

Me too. That is why I have never started a thread about how 'some' men are control freaks.

'Yet is the question are SOME women too controlling not open for discussion?'

Why not include SOME men as well. It is the same behaviour, same problem.

My surprise at you for raising this thread does not automatically assume a 'controlling' nature. That sort of comment would be like me saying 'you Belly are trying to control the discussion' does that mean you are controlling? We could go on forever like this.

You are free to start a thread on whatever topic you like as anyone else is free to comment on it's validity. You are free to call me controlling or whatever you want, but it does not make it true just because I disagree with the premise and intent of your topic.

'How then do we put together a list of what else is not to be spoken about.'

We don't, that is what discussion and debate is for.

'And in what way is that ban helpful?'

It isn't, you are the only one suggesting a ban. I am just pointing out that these sorts of discussions might end up in the usual women bashing exercise even if that was not your intention. But you are free to create women bashing threads if you want, just don't expect people to just sit by. We don't need bans, we all have voices.

CONT/...

'Can we fix problems without knowing them.'

No, but why just fix the controlling women problem, what about the controlling men problem. Bit like DV arguments that suggest violence should be the target not just highlighting men as the 'abuser'.

And is it really a problem in society.

'I thought I wanted to observe the changes in Male Female relation ships in just my lifetime. To highlight SOME modern women, want a man to be, *just gay enough/controllable*.'

Gay enough? If he is gay would he be married to a woman, let alone a controlling one. There have been many changes including the difficulty some men have in accepting women have the right to vote or to work, or to choose career over motherhood.

'... in my view needed to, with the invention of the pill.'

How so? Wasn't this a good thing to reduce the number of unwanted children.

'A woman is free to write books about female unique...'

Yes she is, and she copped flak and debate about it too.

'...can I speak of the few, maybe not so few, women who own their men, until like a bird in a cadge SOME find the chance to fly away.'

Anyone who allows themselves to be controlled always has the choice to fly away.

'I truly am perplexed, is your dislike of the threads direction a fire wall around all women or just some.'

No just threads which target men or women in generalised terms. I have made similar comments in support of irrational comments about men.

My words and thoughts some times pelican do not come out as I wish them to.
A hundred times in my news letter days they bought trouble, saying other than what I meant.
I stand by this thread,see no anti woman stuff here.
No need to cringe in a corner.
Look back and see female contributions full of laughter and fun.
You do not Deny the fact some fit the descriptions we all gave.
I am forever suspicious of bans on subjects.
The perfect person has not been born.
I think in some places people are studying and trying to understand, this and every issue involving human relation ships.
That is how it should be must be good bad every side of every issue.
At this stage the thread has run quite a distance, and few found it grounds to complain.
As a matter of interest what are the issues we should not raise?

"As a matter of interest what are the issues we should not raise?"

Belly I've been surprised at how well it has gone. Given the history of some of the gender related threads on OLO.

Overall I don't think that there are issues which should not be raised, rather some parts of an issue don't fare so well in isolation.

Just as I don't like DV campaigns that focus just on male perpetrators, female victims (and never seem to have the equivalent dealing with female perpetrators, male victims) and would prefer to see the focus on stopping violence other than a few laughs where gender is relevant the topic could have just as easily covered controlling people.

That could still generate into a gender slanging match depending on who's involved I suspect.

R0bert