Well yes all Women control, but most have the grace to let us think it was our idea.
During a thread about men being bashed by women, less yes than the other way around.
We got pure immovable positions.
Maybe I am wrong, but I see increasing cases of a woman totally in control of her man.
Standing behind such in a fast food restaurant I looked at other couples in that line as Master shouted at husband in an ugly way, telling him what he should order for? himself.
That quick look showed some just as concerned with her rude nature as me , but it too showed young women looking quite pleased .
Are SOME women too controlling?

Are SOME women too controlling?
Belly,
I haven't met any women who are but know many females who are.

belly why not step it back a bit and make it about controlling people?
Might side step some of the gender war part and get into a discussion about how much control people can and should have over a partner regardless of gender.

I've seen both and think it has far more to do with personality than gender.

R0bert

not coming into..this third bite of the cherry
sure some are controling..[regardless of sex..or sexual preferance]

but hey we are all
equallly equal,now govt is fully in control
and asio is 3 times bigger..than it was..the day before 911

if your own govt puts any sex..into fight or flight reflex
some will run..some will fight

our general anger
turns into specific anger
on those close enough to get hurt..when the weak strike out

in my homelands..the saying is
what we see in the street
is learned..in the home..

in bad times
doing the right thing
will be seen as treason

in the bad time
no/one wins

sure there is a problem
but has complaining..to others..
changed what was?...cause nuthin can change what was

we learned
we moved on

lets all have a final purge
spew out the bile..then begin a new day..in a new way

its just before dawn..that a black thread..
and a white thread

both..look the same shade of gray
only in the light of reason[in the light of day]
doth the grey threads go away

Dear Belly,

Of course there are controlling women. The same as there
are controlling men. RObert is right ( at least I agree
with him in this case). It is a question of personality
rather than gender. I've worked in the library-field all
of my life - and boy have I had to deal with some beauts.
Women and men. Straight and gay. I'm glad that you prefaced
your sentence this time Belly with "some," this time.
Kudos for that. The only objection I had on the previous
thread was that there were too many sweeping generalisations -
while no one was denying the fact that women were in some cases
as violent as men. This is a much better approach -
allowing for individual differences. Good thread.

Whadaya mean, controlling women?

Go straight to your room, Belly...and when you come out you can chop the wood, vacuum the chook shed and get tonight's tea on....you'll find a list of what to do after that on the portable rack : )

Hi again Belly,

In all seriousness I have to say that it does seem from my experience that women do indeed exercise a form of executive control in many households. That's not to say that their partners have no voice, but it does mean that often women seem to guide the agenda as a kind of maternal overseer.....what do you think?

I think I may have asked you this before, Poirot.

>>Go straight to your room, Belly...and when you come out you can chop the wood, vacuum the chook shed and get tonight's tea on....you'll find a list of what to do after that on the portable rack...<<

Is that you, dear...?

Belly that is rather unfair of you. Getting some of our hopes up, that you were going to give us the secret of controlling [a] woman, only to dash them is such a way.

We are all now totally depressed, finding that even an expert such as yourself has failed, & are merely another hen picked mess quivering in the corner.

We need heeeeelllllp.

Pericles,

(smile)

Good Lady's, girls, be assured I am on my knees.
Come! yes ! can we not find room to talk separately about controlling men?
Good women? bad men?
Have we lost our balance, how many have not laughed at those adds.
The beer ones,bloke talking woman?
Can it be we are not laughing at the adds and comparing them with people we know?
I included humor as second area this thread was to cover.
And yes, just as women let men think its their idea, men too let women think that.
See the big boat or even truck, costing far too much, with the wifes name on it.
Yep washed the dishes, cleaned the house, then sneaked out with the mates.
BUT SOME women scream and shout, threaten to leave take the kids, anything, to stop their man haveing a few mates she does not pick for him.
Why however is talking about this subject [do not hit me dear Lady's] wrong in isolation?

You know it just occurred to me how much I like this forum. I asked recently where are all the women?....but the undeniable truth is that I like conversing with you blokes. I like that we can disagree on some issues but still hold each other in relatively high esteem (well there are probably a few whose faces I'd like to place squarely in the centre of a custard pie, but they're in the minority)

...anyway, here's to blokes.

(now back to work you lot)

There was a research paper from Charles Stuart Uni by Santorio S (something) about Patriarchy households in Australia, and the research showed that a significant number were matriarchial domains.

Its some years ago now, but we were at a mate's place one Sunday,
about to head off to the pub, for the afternoon session. Then this
shrill voice rang out "Freddieeeeee, if you go to the pub, no
more nookies for a month!"

So we went to the pub without him.

Thats about how it works in many households.

Dear Yabby,

What an old fashioned quaint idea -
"No more nookies for a month?"

No woman I know would utter that sentence
only because she'd be punishing herself. ;-)

Dare I blame the victim!?

I reckon blokes that are under the thumb, they're there for one reason. They want to be! I've known guys who have always wanted to be there, even before they got a woman.

Sure there are some who resent it, but if they really wanted to do something about it they would. There are a few standout reasons for men wanting to be under the thumb...

a) The power of the pussy. (aka The Bermuda Traingle - think map of Tassie)
b) The replacement mother.
c) Death by a thousand cuts. ie nagging (Anything for a quiet life he says)
d) An excuse he can tell his mates rather than the truth that he finds them boring and doesn't really like pubs any more. ie He's getting old, and has lost the will to live, and wants to sit in his undies and scratch his bum and spend less on beer and have a more comfy seat.

Nagging has been shown to be extremely effective if sustained over a long period of time. The point is though, the guy under the thumb should have put his foot down years ago. In fact, probably his misses would jump his bones if he did, she's been desperately waiting for him to show some back bone for years! A new level of respect would be found, and they'd be shagging like nobody's business.

So, I unapologetically (As Always) Blame the Victim! This is all the guy's fault if he's being controlled by his spouce.

I really don't know why most marriages don't work better, after all we have 2 people both the same goal.

He, being a nice bloke is trying to please her, & she being a woman is also trying to please her. Why doesn't this work you ask? Because she has no idea of what she really wants, it changes daily, so she has no idea what would make her happy.

it's interesting..this from lexie/quote..''she'd be punishing herself. ;-)./.""

with this from pure OH*..quote..""I really don't know why most marriages don't work better,..after all we have 2 people both the same goal.""

im not sure of that
i figure..some*...might pick,,,a father
others pick a lover..others pick[well who knows]

yes ideallly..you gals sound ideal
idolistic stuff guys would could readilly agree with

these words are great
but its just a shame they arnt true[for all]

"" He,..being a nice bloke..is trying to please her,
& she being a woman '...[nice shiela]..
is also trying to please her.""

oops
just noted you slipped that in

cheeky*

""Why doesn't this work you ask?""

cause she should be all for him
except once they get a rug rat..its the golden child
that if raised right..will comfort you into the life end time

the kids are supreeme
[as they should me..every one deserves a mothers love
[in fact govt should be like a mothers love[not fathers dicipline]

but as this crop of governance[under woman]
prooves..[links]..to this pattrirachal/mindset
entering the womman-hood too..as they outman the man

""Because she..has no idea
of what she really wants""

is to be loved..[as her father loved her]
without all that messy stuff..and man thingies

"",it changes daily,"'

or has become a set routeene?

""so she has no idea..what would make her happy.""

only she can please her
just as men fix their own problems
or get girls to notice..he is a hand-yman

[why am i hearing ..the candy man can''

cause he mixes it with love
and makes..the comfort food..taste so good

hullo houlio

have ya seen
the brazilian/tassie map...in south aussie

""They want to be!""

i agree

""if they really wanted
to do something about it they would.""

i agree

""standout reasons
for men wanting to be under the thumb...

a)The power of the pussy.
(aka The Bermuda Traingle - think map of Tassie)""

wow
is that a tripple entandre'?

[quote]..''b) The replacement mother.[/quote]

or 'get a mum..to 'get' at her kids

quote..'"c) Death by a thousand cuts.
ie nagging (Anything for a quiet life he says)""..

yes i guess some just really love to fight
[either to fight and make up]
or just cause its a power play

each feeding of
the others negative energy?

quote]..d)An excuse he can tell his mates
rather than the truth that he finds them boring""

ok..but that could only bve a weak guy
couldnt he just avoid them..hide behind the couch when they visit
[heck who needs mates sharing jokes with ya mate]...

asking about her..getting titilated by her latest escapade
[go on comfort the widow anhow..even those..*only dead inside..

[lets face it
fridgedity...follows a lot of cold]

""and doesn't really like pubs any more.""

i never did

but hey i think you got me with

E}.. ie He's getting old,
and has lost the will

dont drink..and dont need the blue pill

to live,
and wants to sit in his undies and scratch his bum

and spend less on beer
and have a more comfy seat.""

and die in his own bed
then found one day..when someone cares to visit

""Nagging has been shown to be..extremely effective
if sustained over a long period of time.""

but silence works too
not washing helps

eat lots of garlic

""The point is though,..the guy/under the thumb
should have put his foot down years ago.""

but the kids needed a father

""In fact,..probably his misses..would jump his bones if he did,""

doudt it
yes i know..get them frightend works
but its a cheap trick..[if ya need tricks...it isnt love

""she's been desperately waiting
for him to show some back bone for years!""
all the other guys didnt need to rape her either
she loves the fear?[thats sick]

"A new level of respect would be found,
and they'd be shagging like nobody's business.""

like bonobo's comes to mind

""So, I unapologetically
(As Always)..Blame the Victim!""

i dont seek to castr blame
only find solutions

[to wit somebody...too luv
who loves herself as much as she loves me]
and loves to love me..not what she thinks i may be..but simply what i am

*No woman I know would utter that sentence*

Dear Lexi, ah you have friends just like you.
Its common. Meantime out in the real marriage
world, pussy power is alive and well. Just ask
Bettina Arnt, she's a specialist at this stuff.

If that doesen't work, they can take his money.

All very common in marriage world. Luckily I
dodged the controlling types when I could have
married them, so some other poor buggers have done
hard labour ever since :)

Proviso - if the discussion is about controlling women then let all my comments carry the assumption that controlling men do exist and it's not all women. I don't want to have to spend the whole thread adding proviso's to every comment that could possibly be taken out of context by omission to suggest otherwise.

Lexi I don't know how many women would put it in those terms, some might just decide that they can't be intimate when they are not feeling good about the relationship and if he does something they don't want then they can not feel good about the relationship for quite a while. Also a very common experience for men to find that their partners interest in sex dries right up when kid's arrive and stays that way for a long time. Have a look for a book called "365 nights" sometime for one perspective on it.

Overall I think that there is much about expectations, giving and responsibility in relationships that's not right for a lot of people.
Some see relationships as something to take from rather than give to. Some demand without giving, want the relationship to meet their needs with little or no concern for their partners.

R0bert

I admit it is a light-hearted subject but when you have to deal with such control obsessed females in the public service the hilarity ceases.

Robert,

Re: your comment ... R0bert, Wednesday, 15 February 2012 7:26:31 AM

"...it has far more to do with personality than gender."

You mean, like White Ribbon Day?... *end sarcasm*

Men - apparently - need to get their own day, coz we aren't welcome there.

*end jilted dig*

I have never heard a woman use that phrase, but I have, on a number of occasions heard one tell a man that "he would be in the dog house" if he indulged in some forbidden action.

The words may have been different, but the meaning was definitely the same.

Lexi may be you & I are lovers, fortunately there are still quite a few of us. However with all to many women I have met, she has settled for the best she could snag. Once she has the couple of kids, the house & car, she will quite happily forgo his company, as long as the money keeps rolling in.

This is the reason for the blokes shed, & why many of these men are obviously uncomfortable when they see open affection in other homes. I guess they did not expect too much, & that's just what they got.

Nookie? knew a woman called that, she gave her self the name.
Lets be honest, some place some how a woman uses every word men do.
Too easy RObert to get side tracked here.
But why?
In no way am I hiding the fact men too behave badly.
Just talking about a separate subject.
And one that has many possible directions, some times the control is the only thing, believe me,that saves the bloke,from himself.
[drugs grog gambling]
But sometimes it is near psychotic.
It often is the Mrs Bucket type thing.
But while beautiful women fall for average men,controlling demanding ones seem to seek ones to control.
Poirot, even if I often get a clip behind the ears, I mark your self and most women hear as our best.
Do I still have to mow the lawn after washing up?

wasnt going to comment further
but what about bribes/can relationships work better or worse..if you do the dishes without asking..
[expecting a chocolate equivelent
the love 'treat'

what about the power of flattery
of ego..[or buying flowers/rings and things]
does that..lubra kate ya sal;iva glands..or in other wise
make you feel warm embodied and puppy minded/fuzzy

can a treat bring the reverse
as in anger instead of an anticipated 'reward'

woman..are as easy to 'control'..as men
but should such control..be deliberated[or berated policy]
heck i dont know..im just putting into words the emotive imagry
hoping others can clarify..the way to the points..i tried to add

oh no
here i am again
doing it myself
such a handy randy man
should never have married one..so like my mum

or go wuith girls..who just want to be friends
or think..that sex is a thing/tool/or whatever

a way
to a means...

not bashing men in general..just one
in particular..allmost like a vandetta
or the most ignorant stupidity/selfishness

be the love
love will come
if we think hate..specificly
we emote hate generally..[generously]

or even dangerously
be it in mind/in heart/in body or in soul

That fella going in to that house, the one who speaks woman, in that add.
I know him, know the woman too, she ate him for breakfast.
And her husband for tea, yabby has a point, avoid at all costs the wrong one.
Laugh? yes but cry too, at the life some men, yes and women, lead at the hands of a tyrant.
On occasion, forced by actions no person should except, I have reminded both sex's, [see defensively saying men too], that such behavior is unwelcome in my home, brings both party's to war with me.
I wounder, true, do we have the right in other than our home to say anything?
My answer?
Yes wrong remains wrong.

Belly,

It's come to my attention that you appear to be wasting time posting on OLO.

Have you finished the weeding yet?

"I have reminded both sex's, [see defensively saying men too]"

Smart, might save you a good ear bashing.

Might be worth cleaning up the poop from the indian minors before Poirot steps in it. You'd never hear the end of that.

R0bert

I actually have a bit of fun with all of this, for every now and
then I have visitors from the city. Now alot of modern city homes
look more like shiny show homes, not a thing ouf of place and not
a speck of dirt anywhere. Thats not your typical country home.

So when these city women can't help themselves but comment on
my house, I just point out that housework is womens work and boy
that gets them going :)

Sheesh Poirot. Perhaps your partner should buy you an axe for your
birthday. That should keep you busy and guarantee the winter firewood
supply...

RObert those birds are pooping a lot more after I borrowed a slug gun.
Weeding done Poirot, lawn still needs a trim.
Yabby, me too bachelor and love the Mrs Buckets, not returned love but fun.
Couple have told me in strong terms what they would do with me IF!
Winston Churchill , in reply to Lady Astor, a true Mrs Bucket.
She if you had been my husband I would poison you!
He Madam if that was so I would drink it.

Aw shucks, Yabs - now you think I'm a controlling woman....

(those gutters and downpipes look a bit shabby, Belly. Get on to that will you)

Accctuuallly...I've just mowed the lawn, tied up my unruly tomatoes and sung my chooks a lullaby, vacuumed ect, and am just about to take up two pairs of gentleman's trousers - so it evens out in the end : )

This I have always known, "women often fall in love with men they see as flawed, men perceived in need of repair, in fact.

Once they have successfully changed the man into the new de-flawed model, they usually go on to the next flawed one.
The cycle beginning again, the old model having lost his original attractiveness. (lol).

Is this maternal instinct or a natural need for control ?. I think the former.

My patient wife (the love of my life) and I celebrated our 40th year of un-marriage recently. We took the dog for a walk down our street holding hands.

"The neighbours will think we were weird", she said.
I said, " we are, we still love each other and find each other attractive after all this time ".
We both laughed and shared our private moment.

Our street like many others, is a patchwork quilt of broken families and 2nd or 3rd timers. Relationships consist of a union of assets extracted from former attempts, (in older neighbours) the post menopausal (both parties) need for company.

I'm not sure they know what they have missed, or why or how they have missed it.

Meanwhile the patient love of my life (I mentioned earlier) still presses on with the job of acting in my best interests and is still prepared to hold my hand in public. Even though I continue to be the same significantly flawed model she first fell in love with. As I say after all this time.

Above all, I think it important, that we not lose sight of the glorious difference between the genders and understand that human progress, innovation etc, has gone quite well, without any previous attempt to homogenise the sex's. No good outcome will ever be derived this way. In fact we will have lost something. That's my theory anyway.

Anyway, I love my instinctive female other half. I hope she loves me although I have never understood why she should or would.
This, like she, are still a mystery to me.

*Aw shucks, Yabs - now you think I'm a controlling woman....*

Nope Poirot, I don't think you are the type. Bossy control freaks
of both genders stand out fairly well, IMHO. But seeing you were
giving Belly a bit of cheek, I thought I'd give a bit back

I do however know a farmer who bought his wife an axe for
Xmas. So she bought him a dishwasher :)

Believe me this is true.
Now a bachelor and staying that way,I gloat at some relation ships.
Know , a few blokes who are magnets to women.
Two get the controlling ones in every relation ship.
And between them [2]have had about 9!
I true, asked what do you get out of this constant pain?
No one could tell me.
We laugh and why not, but it can be quite bad if you let it.
Remember a brand new pair of jeans
the ones every one wanted being pegged and taken up.
Any one remember pegged jeans? I found I had a problem when one leg was sewn in green cotton, the other red.

belly/quote..""what do you get..out of this..*constant/pain?""

the 'pain'..isnt constant
it has..[peaks and troughs]

it must-be/linked to scitzophenia
really high/high's..preceed the really low/lows

you know..im sorry..i hurt you
[a high/treat]..then the retreat
then the low/blow low

""Noone could tell me.""

they dare not tell you
they love it..[really love it]
for some reason..some people..*feel so little..
only the pain gets in,..

""We laugh/and why not,""

yep..we all got a choice
some fall/off the mountain..others slide/..off the road

but heck..death..is as near as crossing a road
[or sticking ya tongue..into the power/sock-ette

""but it can be..quite bad
if you let it.""

it's a sickness
they dont know any different
the orders..create a comfort zone

""Remember a brand/new..pair?..of jeans"'

my black/target pipelegs
yep..recall them well

""the ones..every-one
wanted being pegged
and taken up.

Anyone remember pegged jeans?""

no idea ol sport
if the leg was too long..we just cut them to length
and get a frayed cuff

what type of clothes pegs
ya peg..ya peg leg jeans up with
not them solid wood ones..6 inches long...;surely?

""I found..I had a problem
when one leg was sewn..in green cotton,..the other red.""

im more intrested..in why you used
two different colour threads...

[or did your mum/wife...lover or other
do it for you..]

im sure who ever dun it wasnt in a union
[did they get paid..it might have been a go slow...
or between paying orders][or other unpaid job/lot bonus's

really its quite fashonable..[personaly
i wouldnt have noticed]..

just cuffed..the do/gooder arround a bit
or locked them..in a private hell..for life

i digress..!

/

a dire-gression

how dare you..[grrr]
everyone is looking at us..[...ummmmm]

what put that thinking..into your mind..[uggg]
wait till you get home..[kssssssh

no tv for 4 days.;.[per leg]

i wanted blue thread..with yellow trim...
in a zigzag..[not too wide]

but with enough zig
so..i dont need zag..you..ever again

but i force myself...
cause i know how much..you love it

i know..you luv me
you say it..all the time
even when you hit me..again and again

is it love of hurt..ing others
that your feeling?

you just love hitting/complaining
not ex-plaining

I have seen it for many years now, the old 'I'll just wait for the misses mate' , I don't want to buy the wrong thing.

Much of this in my view stems from broken families, whereby 99% of the boys from these families are raised by their mother and lack male input and or male role modeling.

Ogenerally, only a father can instill the leadership qualities that strong fathers have.

The sign of a strong father is not one who is abusive, but rather one who is turned to for protection in times of need.

So off these young guys go, having been controlled their whole lives and find it easier to replace their mothers with a strong partner.

Unfortunately, we no longer have a society where men are men, as more and more of them are becoming to sensitive amd loosing their male strengths.

As I often say, harden up!

rehctub,

Can you define "...a society where men are men..."

I don't necessarily see it as sign of our permissive society. I think some men have always acquiesced to their wife's or partner's wishes...some guys are just like that.

Wasn't it Jung who said that all men project their mothers on to their wives?

And almost all the men that I've ever known have "not" enjoyed "shopping". They seem to race to get everything completed in the shortest possible time....which probably means that men are diabolically clever in designing shopping apparatus for the women to use - and it all keeps consumer society (as we know it) afloat.

Belly - "pegging" I presume is pinning...that's what I was doing, taking up and hemming the legs of trousers.

Yabby - I once got a spade for my birthday...lovely yellow-handled job. I've still got it.

Yabby,

I expect you'll make note of the fact I gave a description of the decor of my spade handle....apparently that's because I'm a woman : )

Belly (my sweet)...I suspect there may be a dead mouse in the back of the washing machine....and that tap in the bathroom is STILL dripping.

(NB - note application of endearing rhetoric on henpecked victim. Although applied sparingly, it has a mysterious capacity to move male in the direction of toolbox)

Lol Poiroit, before I read your second post I was wondering to myself
what colour my own shovels were and what man would actually mention
it :)

I agree with you about your comment that some guys are just like that.
In fact if you put two alpha types together, sparks usually fly.

Belly, I'm not a bachelor but classified as a divorcee. I think I
see it a bit like you and Churchill, ie. great relationships are
enviable but bad ones best avoided like the plague.

My marriage was actually ok, we just had very different goals in
life and living with somebody who is miserable, is neither fair
on them nor pleasant. So it was a choice between sticking to country
life or moving to the city and I would have been the miserable one
in the city. So we split.

The thing is, the second time around, most of the good ones were
snapped up in the first round and you land up with other peoples
rejects. There are some great women around, but they are in great
relationships. long ago snapped up, like the best parking spots.

yabby much the same for me in every way.
The few controllers, true not just the average,have been shown the door.
Getting old, if you let it, can be hell.
Pegged jeans, on being sent at 15 or 16 to live and work in Sydney.
The normal for southern highlands kids both sex's.
I traded my hard wearing baggy jeans.
Then in vogue, you bought the ready faded styled jeans, turned them inside out.
Sewed the inside leg up to make it crimson near impossible to get them on, even harder to take off.
Believe it or not your girl offered to do this, almost every time.
My ex,soon after I got them back, OUG no intention to be seen in those colors.
She went on to be in Television and we laughed about it long after.
Yes got that mouse looking for my old jeans sewer to put in in her fridge.
You could get the jeans off quickly only on Friday nights for some reason and better if in Parramatta park reserve.

wink wink
[whats the bet...the 'yellow shovel'..is a spade]
so lets guess the colur shade of the yellow

im with pasteal/bright ripe bannana shade
washed meticulously clean every time its unslung
regularilly filed square so it cuts roots...or edges

it will no doudt have a folded metal foot
on the crown of the blade[and have a thickening bulge..in the middle]

bolted not screwed to the handle
likely with a t bar on top

i can relate to yabbys words..[not react]
by saying i see it as i have baggage
too much to saddle some innocent in them

but way less..than all i meet
who are messed up enough..to be seeking physical lust

for some reason..most i find...had given up on sex alltogether
the lasst two..[before i gave it up as a joke]
was lesiabeing...and the other 20 years

never got into baggy genes..[belly]
nor them stonewash..but did briefly..look cool in flares

i understand the secret..of getting into
'tight jeans'..is baby powder..[it is supposed to be an attractant..to the proposed con-quest]..but i find massage works better

the reason..that pants come off
better on saterday night

is cause we usually got..other things to focuss on..
and dont notice the little things..like ripping/tearing noises
buttons on the lino...or booze spilling into the car pet

So a Parramatta boy Belly. They probably still spoke English around there then.

I was in Fairfield, probably about the same time. Not only cheep, but close to the motor racing tracks. I bought the cheapest house in Fairfield, in 1960. 1999 quid, yes less than 2 grand for an old 4 room & a sleep out, farm labourers cottage in Sydney. Had to get dad to go guarantor, as I was under 21.

It was a good place back then, a Pom on one side a Scot on the other, & a Maltese over the back. At least we all spoke English, except the Scot of course.

Didn't have pegged jeans, or get to the park much, 2000 [$4000] might not have been too much for a house, but it took a fair bit of a young blokes pay packet.

Don't recall too many controlling women around there at the time. Mostly it was battler couples, working hard to make a go of it together.

Thanks for the memory jolt.

'They probably still spoke English around there then.'

ROFL!

Hasbeen more jolts for you.
Dad and Mum told the rawest country kid you ever saw on Friday night to enjoy Saturday.
I was off to live with Mums brother and his wife in Villawood.
That Sunday, hopped on the Coma Mail and hob nailed boots and baggy jeans went.
Job Monday, did not have any idea it had all been on for months.
Took 3 months to trade the country kid in.
First fight in that Villawood pub on first weekend, bit surprised no one stood back and waited till you got up.
Fairfield, yes played a big roll in growing up, picked up the offal from nearly every butcher shop there.
But Paramata Lakes! as you would know a bush reserve around and night haunt for kids and the not so young.
Haunted too, well we thought so.
You and I remember a different place, it no longer exists.
After a time I helped move the family and one place we lived was Para, interesting place .
I stayed there in a past union campaign, for a week, no memory of seeing an Australian.

OUG,

I did call my spade "a spade"...although I neglected to mention that the rest of it was bright pink with daisies painted on it - and "her" name is Gertrude....(only joking).

Actually it's just an ordinary spade and I use it to dig my vegie patch.

I wore jeans a lot - still do in fact...but nothing quite matches up to those tight flares I wore in the seventies. They were works of art : )

Mine still are Poirot. I still have a black shirt & white flared pants from the early 60s.

I should throw them out, all they do is remind me of how slim I once was.

*but nothing quite matches up to those tight flares I wore in the seventies. They were works of art : )*

Oh I am not so sure about that, Poirot. In the 70s, you would
have been a cute young teenager with perky breasts, I am sure that
you were a work of art :)

I am happy with the path we took.
Jokes and a laugh it has been fun.
I think we could have focused on the very worst but to what end?
Yabby and I share a defense that works, do not let the door hit you on the way out.
All male female relations ships will always be good and bad, except the lucky few.
Both sex's control, both expect, once me too, too much out of relation ships.
I no hurt intended, think some women end up hating men, because of unrealistic expectations.
Men have that problem too.
In the end, the strongest relation ships have an unspoken sharing of control, in many things.
Must admit,while I find it funny, my intention was to highlight the true controlling ones.
Small country villages are not all, picket fences and Rose gardens.
I love just as much as the early morning song of the Kookaburra or Magpie, the screamed get up here now!
And some times, if I am lucky, wharf Laborer words screamed at men.
She who must be obeyed is entertaining, from the other side of the fence.

Why thank you, Yabby - that will go into my top five for "Best Compliments I Have Received" : )

I have a photo circa 1975 of myself and three other girls ready to go to the school social - all of us dressed in meticulously ironed flares...and we all look superb in a seventies kinda way.

And I have Hasbeen's problem with a school blouse from the same period. I can still get it over my shoulders - but my chest these days seems to be of a completely different configuration - anyway it won't button up : )

Belly, your "She who must be obeyed" reminded me Of Rumpole (one of my favourite characters)...his missus is a perfect example of controlling woman....and yes there are plenty of those around.

Well, it is not just in the human population that these women cause trouble.

I have an old stallion, over 20, who has not been with a mare in many years. With a stallion I have tape electric fencing 3 metres inside my barb wire boundary fences, to avoid problems with neighbours horses.

My place is fenced into small 1 to 2 acre paddocks, & he can use about 6 of these safely.

My fairly new eastern neighbours, who are horse lovers not "horse people", put a new mare in their paddock beside the one the stallion was in, without telling me. Telling me is what horse people would do, so I could move the stallion.

This mare displayed much interest in the stallion, most mares are dreadful tarts that way. I noticed the silly old bugger was excited, & planned a move for him. Somewhere about this time a herd of kangaroos smashed the inner electric fences in 3 paddocks, [they often do], cutting the power, & allowing the stallion to the barb wire boundary fence. Unfortunately I did not notice this.

After preparing another paddock, when I went to get him, I found him on 3 legs, all tied up in the barb wire, with blood everywhere. The mare had got frightened, & run away. Fortunately, after cutting him out, I found the damage, [to him] was not too bad, but it took a couple of hours to clean him up.

I have just finished a couple of hours treating him this morning, & will be at it for the next couple of weeks. He is a sore & sorry Romeo, & I am now off to put the fence back together.

The moral of this story can only be, avoid those women, they are mostly trouble, & it's the bloke who gets hurt. I should have stuck with the white flared pants, I don't recall them getting me into this much trouble, but then my memory is fading a bit.

Sorry, Hasbeen, can't help but be amused at the thought of you turning up to the annual 2012 OLO social, resplendent in your white flares....somehow I don't think you'd have trouble fighting off the controlling women (aside from the fact that women in general are a bit thin on the ground around here)...the one's that turned up would be too busy falling about laughing.

That's not fair, Poirot, you know that most of the blokes here would gladly get tangled up in a barb-wire fence if you were in the next paddock ;)

Yours ever,

Joe

Thank you Joe.

I vote that we continue this thread indefinitely...it's rather good for my ego : )

Poirot, love Rumpole, he is as you know an Aussie.
However who talks of her indoors.
And can I see your proof of age card, look a bit young to me.
Been to market day and out planting, bird of Paradise, taking a few out for good lady next door.
We all know the controllers male and female.
Any one else notice they are more often that not wrong?
Tell the one who must obey totally wrong things.

Poirot, if I tried to turn up in those pants I doubt I'd get there. If they did not cut off the blood circulation, & kill me before I left the house, they would be so far from meeting in front to be done up, the cops would have arrested me for indecent exposure.

Belly watch those bird of paradise mate! I planted one at the back of the shed, beside the water tank, about 15 years ago. It now fills a 3 meter by 3 meter space, & the base is so thick, we are frightened to go near it. Who knows what is hiding in there.

Still, that shed is near the road, & when it is in full bloom, with a couple of dozen heads, I've seen cars stop, & people photograph the thing, so it's far from an eye saw.

Yes hasbeen more fool me, I planted about twenty then ten large ones.
Nice and shady under the bottle brush.
And swamp Lilly's along within every elephant ears type plant I could find.
Jungle but cool and welcoming.
Iris and day Lilly's number near 100 and still planting.
My only car access is a lane but front is looking good now the lawn is mowed.
I plan to cut a lot down, dig up the roots, just leave a few, and mulch every thing .
Swamp Lilly's thrive, most can not get the seeds to grow, but as any palm half in half out of the ground and they race away.

Speaking of controlling women. Gillard you are the first labour leader in 20 yrs i havent supported. I did untill you dumped this "the plan" domestic violence fiasco. You have rendered men to little more than disposable cash dispensers who can be thrown in prison at the whim of their most likely abusive partners. This thing does nothing to address the epidemic of female violence on male partners whilst putting men under even more ridiculous regulations. Your women will be very safe only a very stupid man would go near them. I look fwd to voting you out at the next election. I also look fwd to fleeing my once beloved country if this mad proposal is approved.

When will you learn? You made marriage unworkable for men, they retreated. you made live in relationships for men unworkable for men. Why the heck should she get the half the house for sitting on the couch watching oprah for 10 weeks? are you serious?!?! Still its not enough we need more hateful feminist ideology. Well this thing will make sure that no man is ever alone with a woman. Any man that is alone with a woman under your ridiculous plan is putting himself at risk of going to prison on heresey. Ladies when men drive past you stuck on the side of the road dont blame the men. Blame Gillard!
Where do the children of Australia come from then Ms Gillard? You don't think men will retreat? They have every other time. Now you've put our backs to the wall. Theres nowhere left to run.

What would the men who fought and died for this country have done if they knew you were going to do this Ms Gillard? Do you think they'd bother defending your misandric hell? I severely doubt it knowing what you would reduce the men in this country too. Thanks again for stealing my civil rights and hope your proud knowing Ill vote liberal for the first time in 20 years.

Oh and why did the government stop recording the gender on domestic violence Ms Gillard? When they were last recorded in 1997 they showed 41% of domestic violence against children was perpetrated by single mothers and 6% by single fathers. Rather than working on protecting children better you stop recording gender as of 1997 and its assumed along the feminist cult view that all violence against children must be perpetrated by men. You are putting the children of Australia at risk Ms. Gillard. They dont even deserve to have their name on this misandric rubbish.

Why are pets covered by the plan and not men Ms Gillard? Where are the shelters for the male victims Ms Gillard? 20 yrs ago I ran way from an abusive mother to have your FACS (DCW in those days) drag me back to my abusive mother as 15 yo child.

Wake up Ms Gillard there are two genders in this country and you need both.

Hi Nothankyou,

Of course, you are right that the gender of DV offenders should be recorded.

But in relation to your interesting stat: " .... in 1997 .... 41% of domestic violence against children was perpetrated by single mothers and 6% by single fathers" -

Taking into account who is responsible for the other 53 %, what proportion of children in single-parent families is in the care of their mothers, what proportion is in the care of their fathers, and what proportion is in the care of others, like grandmothers, step-parents and foster-carers ?

80 %, 10 % and 20 % ?

60 %, 10 % and 30 % ?

40 %, 10 % and 50 % ?

Your figures are a bit meaningless unless you are comparing apples with apples :)

Cheers,

Joe

Belly this subject is beneath you. It is the same 'all men are bastards' mentality in reverse.

Joe I can't find references at the moment but I've posted bit's of older reports covering family types and substantiated abuse previously. A number of groups used to publish the family type and substantiated child abuse stats in an accessable manner.

The old Child Abuse Trust (now ACTS I think) and the National Child Protection Clearinghouse were two that I've referenced previously.

I knew that the Child Abuse Trust dropped the family type stats a few years ago, not sure on the Child Protection Clearinghouse but they do seem to have shifted to editorialised brochures as the focus in recent years.

One of the older reports did give some coverage of the proportion of kid's in the family type compared to the substantiated abuse rates. The abuse did not necessarily occur in the home (but my impression is that most did). Single parent male lead households came out slightly less dangerous than single parent female lead ones, not really surprising considering the barriers against dads having custody.

Both were far worse than two parent homes. My impression is that issues such as the lack of backup and a second opinion, poverty, time in care and substance abuse were the real points of concern rather than gender of the parent.

R0bert

Not sure why a post is gone.
But Pelican?
Now hear this , is it not ok to talk about some subjects?
You seem against any fault finding with any woman.
If you look you will see humor here more than insults.
And you will see truth far more often than lies.
I could, with no problems, start a thread about controlling husbands, may , you would let it go unchallenged.
And about imported wifes from country's who are little less than slaves.
But here I highlight CONTROLLING WOMEN, my pen is no sword, I could have spoken of men haters, who wed then make life hell, who form closer than natural relation ships with other women, sexual, but remain wed.
I contend this, no charge ,no insult, against any sex is unfounded in SOME.
Murder/Rape/tell me the crime I will find a woman and man who did it.
Why Pelican do you so freely challenge the right to openly talk about this subject.
1
Do you say no woman controls her man harshly
2
Are SOME women too demanding
3
has equality in relationship a future.
To save me being flogged with a broom, I ask the same questions about men.
PS no woman ever will control me, I will never try to control one,respect in relationship is mutual.

In all honesty do you think that is what I am saying Belly? That women are never controlling. Sheesh...setting me up as a 'challenger' of free speech is a strawman approach.

Inherent in the concept of free speech is the right to respond to a thread designed to paint women in a negative light. You are a basically nice bloke and my response would have been the same if the thread made generalisations about men in the same way ie. that men are control freaks.

It is stating the obvious that some women (and men) are controlling - why raise it?

I am merely saying the subject matter goes against your usual egalitarian nature and particularly given the tendency for OLO discussions of this nature to end up in a woman bashing contest. It seems a bit like stirring the pot.

If you meant it in a humorous context it did not come across like that to me, but I am but an imperfect human being, so maybe I got it wrong. At least some of the posts were humorous as you point out.

Pelican this much you can believe about me.
I dislike any form of pain people suffer needlessly regardless of sex.
First few replies to this thread questioned me.
For raising it.
Yet is the question are SOME women too controlling not open for discussion?
How then do we put together a list of what else is not to be spoken about.
And in what way is that ban helpful?
Can we fix problems without knowing them.
We squabble over existance of God.
I now am unsure, why did I start this thread.
I thought I wanted to observe the changes in Male Female relation ships in just my lifetime.
To highlight SOME modern women, want a man to be, *just gay enough/controllable*
The very basis of our relation may have started to change, in my view needed to, with the invention of the pill.
A woman is free to write books about female unique, can I speak of the few, maybe not so few, women who own their men, until like a bird in a cadge SOME find the chance to fly away.
I truly am perplexed, is your dislike of the threads direction a fire wall around all women or just some.

Belly if I can take your points one by one.

'I dislike any form of pain people suffer needlessly regardless of sex.'

Me too. That is why I have never started a thread about how 'some' men are control freaks.

'Yet is the question are SOME women too controlling not open for discussion?'

Why not include SOME men as well. It is the same behaviour, same problem.

My surprise at you for raising this thread does not automatically assume a 'controlling' nature. That sort of comment would be like me saying 'you Belly are trying to control the discussion' does that mean you are controlling? We could go on forever like this.

You are free to start a thread on whatever topic you like as anyone else is free to comment on it's validity. You are free to call me controlling or whatever you want, but it does not make it true just because I disagree with the premise and intent of your topic.

'How then do we put together a list of what else is not to be spoken about.'

We don't, that is what discussion and debate is for.

'And in what way is that ban helpful?'

It isn't, you are the only one suggesting a ban. I am just pointing out that these sorts of discussions might end up in the usual women bashing exercise even if that was not your intention. But you are free to create women bashing threads if you want, just don't expect people to just sit by. We don't need bans, we all have voices.

CONT/...

'Can we fix problems without knowing them.'

No, but why just fix the controlling women problem, what about the controlling men problem. Bit like DV arguments that suggest violence should be the target not just highlighting men as the 'abuser'.

And is it really a problem in society.

'I thought I wanted to observe the changes in Male Female relation ships in just my lifetime. To highlight SOME modern women, want a man to be, *just gay enough/controllable*.'

Gay enough? If he is gay would he be married to a woman, let alone a controlling one. There have been many changes including the difficulty some men have in accepting women have the right to vote or to work, or to choose career over motherhood.

'... in my view needed to, with the invention of the pill.'

How so? Wasn't this a good thing to reduce the number of unwanted children.

'A woman is free to write books about female unique...'

Yes she is, and she copped flak and debate about it too.

'...can I speak of the few, maybe not so few, women who own their men, until like a bird in a cadge SOME find the chance to fly away.'

Anyone who allows themselves to be controlled always has the choice to fly away.

'I truly am perplexed, is your dislike of the threads direction a fire wall around all women or just some.'

No just threads which target men or women in generalised terms. I have made similar comments in support of irrational comments about men.

My words and thoughts some times pelican do not come out as I wish them to.
A hundred times in my news letter days they bought trouble, saying other than what I meant.
I stand by this thread,see no anti woman stuff here.
No need to cringe in a corner.
Look back and see female contributions full of laughter and fun.
You do not Deny the fact some fit the descriptions we all gave.
I am forever suspicious of bans on subjects.
The perfect person has not been born.
I think in some places people are studying and trying to understand, this and every issue involving human relation ships.
That is how it should be must be good bad every side of every issue.
At this stage the thread has run quite a distance, and few found it grounds to complain.
As a matter of interest what are the issues we should not raise?

"As a matter of interest what are the issues we should not raise?"

Belly I've been surprised at how well it has gone. Given the history of some of the gender related threads on OLO.

Overall I don't think that there are issues which should not be raised, rather some parts of an issue don't fare so well in isolation.

Just as I don't like DV campaigns that focus just on male perpetrators, female victims (and never seem to have the equivalent dealing with female perpetrators, male victims) and would prefer to see the focus on stopping violence other than a few laughs where gender is relevant the topic could have just as easily covered controlling people.

That could still generate into a gender slanging match depending on who's involved I suspect.

R0bert

RObert thanks I think much like that.
But am a white ribbon pledge taker.
And think it should be two colors so it represents and end to all DV.
Perplexed by the angst, not kidding, I went shopping.
On parking my car 4x4 actually, a woman held her door open.
So being a defensive driver I gave her extra room, not moving in to the space beside me.
Matronly lady she launched in to me, *do you think I was too silly to close the door*
A fair dinkum diatribe of orders and unwanted information followed.
I a bit stunned waited till she took breath and said *Mrs Bucket, I indeed had no idea about your IQ, until you showed me it is not so good, sorry for got only men must have good manners.
Done it now haven't I?

So that's where you were this afternoon, Belly - and chatting up matronly ladies to boot!

You knew it was my afternoon to host the local chapter of H.A.R.M (Harridans Anonymous (for) Remedial Megalomania - in case it slipped your mind).

We had three new ladies today, all bursting to meet you. (two of them noticed that the tap in the bathroom is STILL leaking)

Hurry home....

Sorry sorry, just trying to avoid one of the girls, she winked at me last meeting.
Fixing tap mowing lawn do you like my new Apron?

Well our words do sometimes come out wrong. Clearly mine have, there was no intention to offend, but I am also not going to cringe in a corner. Is it wrong to ask for someone to explain their motives?

Perhaps I should not have said anything. As RObert said, these sorts of threads can get into slinging matches and it is naive to think otherwise methinks.

I just don't know why you think it is okay for men to be controlling (implied by leaving them out) than for women. In my experience the most controlling people I have ever met have been men but do people thinks that is okay or 'masculine' whatever.

Also, when we witness scenes like the one you described between the husband and his wife, and make judgements, they may not be right. Nobody really knows what goes on in a relationship except the two involved.

Fact is we all have prejudices and it does not hurt to take them out once in a while, dust them off and have a good look.

Anyway I will leave it here - have fun.

Never mind, Pelican, I instinctively started a frivolous line because I know that both genders can be controlling. In any case, most relationships tend to have one member who calls most of the shots - and from my observations, it is indeed often the woman.

But I'm a graduate of the Monty Python School of Satire - I find humour has the most powerful clout when it comes to the often ridiculous antics and power plays among humans.

I mean to say. Belly is at this moment attired in Aunt Edna's vintage apron while mowing the lawn...need I say more? : )

Poirot
Yours - a much better approach than mine. I will take a leaf from your book. :)

Merely a Male Lady's so bound to be wrong.
I love a grin in fact belly likes a belly laugh.
But should constantly remind myself Pelicans sacred cow, no female is to be charged with anything.
Bit mischievous I am tempted to carry on.
But no, I understand, equality is only for men, women, well SOME demand a bit more.
Sorry about the apron, promise it should have said she is the boss not here is the boss.
I Belly beg forgiveness for daring to suggest SOME women are controlling.
But thank Pelican, for supporting my thoughts.

Belly
'But should constantly remind myself Pelicans sacred cow, no female is to be charged with anything. Bit mischievous I am tempted to carry on.'

You are being unfair Belly. Where did I argue no female is to be charged or that females are sacred cows who are never wrong. You obviously never read my posts. You are being very mischevious Belly and I think you know it in your heart of hearts.

If you think it is okay for men to be controlling but not women that is fine. Can't teach an old dog new tricks and let's face it we are all a result of our conditioning, but try something even more mischevious - dare to question some of those conditionings.

Good Morning Pelican
I have a test.
Truly I have put you on a pedestal, for your posting style and history.
You have given me some credit in this thread.
Poirot has spoken both about liking talking to men here, and the rare numbers,compared to men of women here.
I like talking to them.
On anything close to this subject, you and I differ.
In your view why is that so.
Are you over defensive,am I too aggressive?
Did I show some intent to denigrate all women, most, many?
If the subject was say crime statistics, could we separate female from male to find out who commits the majority?
Would out comes of that investigation inflame the discussion?
Pack rape, an almost exclusively male crime.
Do we in trying to find out why it takes place take gender out of the investigation.
With respect, I truly think, no subject even pedophilia should be ignored.
And that beer add,the he speaks women one.
It quite brilliantly catches Aussie humor and just a little truth.
I recently, watched a woman welcome her husband home after a long days work.
By screaming at him, in front of others,and, no joke listing the work he had to do, including washing ironing cooking.
Our joke Poirot and mine has come to life.
Not for me,I have seen it before, too many times both sex's.
I feel no guilt in bringing this subject up.

Belly
You and I agree on many things especially on politics, maybe differing on occasion.

You are free to bring up any topic you like but I only asked why only bring up women in the context of 'being controlling'. It is not gender determined. There are many controlling men out there and I conclude that since you did not mention it as a problem, that you are okay with it. That is all. I don't think I am being overly-defensive but if I think a viewpoint is gender biased, even if the word 'some women' is used.

I disagree it is a 'problem' as you state earlier. No more a problem than controlling men. You asked 'what is the solution'? I don't think it is a problem that society needs to fix. If a husband or wife is controlling it really is a matter for them to resolve. It is not a great social problem. From my point of view, this lies in the area of personal affairs and not anything governments should involve themselves in.

Pelican yes all true we agree often.
But at the times we do not so be it.
Life is full of contradictions.
We find in conversations we all, can for peace sake,answer with other than our true thoughts.
I value honesty, above all honesty and questions that look for honest answers.
History, every bit of it, shows some women are controlling.
And as I said earlier, men too, more.
I started the thread, putting Satire and humor as second subject,to highlight two thoughts.
The humor well anchored in Aussie folk law, about the trouble and strife, wife, she who must be obeyed, and that hugely funny often true woman whisperer in cowboy gear.
Little Blond wife huge bloke under her thumb.
I even spoke of how the changes in my lifetime had to come,66 and a bit years ago the little women did as told.
Had little say, but still some, both sex's, blew up.
I think the pill gave freedom to women, much needed.
But SOME have started to become the very thing that shouted at me, men needed to change.
SOME men SOME women own and control their partners.
Pelican if you watched a young bloke subjected to pure spite in front of his Friends and his wifes Friends every day, yet knew she loved him would you be tempted to ask what reason exists for it?

'Pelican if you watched a young bloke subjected to pure spite in front of his Friends and his wifes Friends every day, yet knew she loved him would you be tempted to ask what reason exists for it?'

Only in the context of their relationship perhaps but I would keep it to myself. It really is their business. I would also ask why he stays with his wife. People choose their lives more than they are willing to concede or at least display laziness in choosing change over the status quo.

The reasons for it are far out of my area of expertise in psychology and I see it as an issue for individuals rather than for society.

I did not intend to offend you by asking the question, and certainly don't think less of you. Your work in assisting people in the union movement and your obvious passion for a fair go suggests already that you care about people.

It is a knee jerk reaction from me when I see this sort of stuff, that is all. Maybe I should chill. :)

Pelican No, do not change be your self.
But like me question your self too.
Self praise is no recommendation.
I am not doing that, but this is true, I think only two types exist givers and takers.
I am so happy to be a giver, I feel sorry for both sides in that story.
Know, in time the relationship will end, but should change not end.
I get it wrong, but never stop trying.
My work days are over not my giving.
Yesterday was my D day, had day surgery , to confirm or not cancer, came out clean,did not expect to.
But met many and spoke to them who had same fears ,some confirmed.
Just talking helped them, it always will.
And new Friends came to them and me,be true to you.

http://www.2knowmyself.com/control_freaks/Why_are_some_women_controlling_men_husbands
Just after my last post I found this link, for the first time.
I on posting threads some times put related searches in favorites then discard them.
Just about to do that and saw this, on opening it it was interesting.
First real insight in to the problem from professionals.
Acceptance more men than women are involved.
But I stand by the need to understand, one side of this issue here.
It supports my view SOME women pick weak men to dominate.
And of special interest to me, seems in peoples answers and replies to highlight Americans, maybe the world, turns to God in times of crisis.
Well at least the link is informative.

Dear Belly,

Of course some women are controlling - for a variety
of reasons. But it doesn't mean that all are. Each of us
are individuals - with our own personalities, and reasons
for what motivates us and our behaviour. That's what makes
life interesting, I guess. My mum was a controller (and how).
And even today - she knows how to manipulate me (pushes
the right buttons - mainly guilt trips). But she's my mum -
and I'm learning to ignore certain things. I hope that I
won't be like that with my children - but who knows. They say
we all end up just like our parents. She's a good person,
and I guess that I could do worse.

Well hope some one looked at the link, we see no reply.
Run our trip but in the end I think the point I set out to make was seen.
see you in the next one.