You know what Robert? I don't know where the argument has come from either. I have read the other posts to see what others and I have said and I am no wiser. However, I am not going to participate any more.

Your point about human frailty and manipulation is interesting. The information that I have received from male friends, colleagues and family members - and this seems to be a commonality - is that they see themselves as knights in shining armour rescuing damsels in distress who have been used and abused by wicked men. This may sound a bit harsh, but this seems to be a common perception that men have.

Whether this image is chosen deliberately by some women, I don't know but I would hazard a guess and say yes. This is not to say that some have had bad experiences and need rescuing and live happily ever after. And I can understand why making the distinction between frailty and manipulation would be uncomfortable for you. Nobody wants to prejudge and think the worst of someone. We also forget that rescuing is something that men love to do and it is one reason why women love them so much. It is a sad world that we live in though, when the rescued abuses the rescuer. And it seems to be happening more and more.

Celivia, welcome back.

I've pondered the original topic a bit in light of Lizzy's comments earlier in the thread. It may be a perception issue but I think it was valid because of the subtopic on the newsworthy rape thread.

In some ways it's a retorical question with no real answer, it will always depend on the situation. Others seem to have most clearly answered the question in the negative.

A couple of posters have made it quite clear that a false allegation cannot be as bad as being raped.

My understanding is the the most damaging consequences of rape are not the physical but the emotional and psychological, the sense of loss of safety, loss of control, the distrust of others, the impact on the ability to form healthy relationships. In some cases self blame may also be a significant factor when none is warranted.

It seems to me that those falsly accused can go through similar.

I get rather concerned when I see some willing to ignore the plight of one group because they percieve that to acknowledge that group may undermine the plight of another. The dismissal of the plight of those falsly accused seems to me to be in that category.

Those who claim that false accusations are very rare, easily weeded out and not all that harmfull are then in a stronger position to modify our court processes to protect the "victim" from the pain of the process while reducing the opportunity for the accussed to defend themselves.

The questions that stays with me in this is what can we do to ensure that the legal process does no unnecessary harm to genuine victims and also does no unnecessary harm to those falsly accussed?

How do we provide backout options for those who have made false accusations so that they are more willing to recant if their conscience gets to them?

How do we protect those falsly accused from the mud that seems to stick?

How can we better protect against both rape and the abuse of the legitimate stigma which that crime has?

R0bert

My son's accuser tried to back out. The prosecutor told her parents it was either him or them - SOMEone was going to 'pay'. They of course, chose to throw a 16 year old kid under the bus, rather than risk the spotlight turned upon themselves.

The police investigators get career perks for sucessful convictions of this kind. The prosecutors get career advances for convictions. Same for Judges. In my son's hearing, a group of women, called 'Court Watchers' attended, boxes of Kleenex at the ready. They didn't know the accused, the accuser, or the case - they were there to see the Judge they elected made a decision in their 'favor' - to convict. The sobbing and kleenex waving stopped when discussions surronding the child's virginity, the accused's truthful/innocent polygraph exam - then high fives all around when the Judge 'did the right thing' and sentenced him to jail, and ordered him to confess the crime. Illegal, unconstitutional, immoral - but it makes the advocates happy, and gets elections won.

Perhaps BOTH accused AND accuser should undergo polygraphs. It's every bit as traumatic for the accused to be polygraphed, as the accuser. There's no concern for the accused's mental or emotional state, even though they may be a child themself.

Children under the age of 11 cannot be punished for lying in court, but as I said before, her parents were threatened. Rightfully, they SHOULD have been.

My son unexpectedly encountered the family a few years back, at an airport. They tried to hug him, tell him they were sorry "Just let it go".

Sad thing is, they loved my son, and he loved them. They were so focused on trying to hurt me, and get rid of me, they didn't think about the consequences for him

We can daydream of a better time where these situations won't happen, but that's not going to happen anytime soon.

For my son, all he can do is whatever it takes to maintain his self respect and dignity. He has a beautiful girlfriend who loves him. A family that never doubted him - I'm talking about all his other aunts, uncles and cousins on MY side of the family. Over 30 people wrote letters on his behalf. His teacher, church minister, and a friend's father (a psychiatrist) flew out of state to testify on his behalf. (The court declared my son a criminal genius who was fooling everybody except those who profitted from believing the accuser).

All that isn't enough when a stranger sees his photograph on the internet. All that does not mean a thing when he has to fill out a job applicatiuon stating he is a listed sex offender. When he is pulled over by the police and searched.

All you can do is cry to heaven, and pray for mercy.

All you can do is not allow yourself to hate or become bitter - not to allow yourself to be forever damaged by those who would enjoy your demise.

It takes forgiveness. It takes faith. It takes true character.

It's a feat of biblical magnitude to acomplish. Only time will tell...

Thank you one and all for your participation, I am not goping to go into details and mentione each and everyone point of view, it is after all a point of view and in a democratic society we must accept both criticism as well as understanding. But must make some points in relation to some of the comments, Lizzie, you are absolutely right, no one else is to blame but myself for the situation I am in right now, yes you are right again, I cheated not only on my wife but my whole family, I am willing and in fact paying the consequences right now and I fully deserve it. I joined this conversation simply because of the fact it is related to false accusations of rape and the turmoil anyone find himself in. I know that very old women are raped every day, of course I know that, I am not blind and neither deaf, the fact remain and Absolutely confirm right here right now that PERHAPS just perhaps a rapist that commit such an horrific crime towards an older woman maybe, just maybe is ALSO (not only) due to the fact that he's been out and about watching YOUNGER women wearing those so called skirts, the mind of that sick man was triggered and he had to find someone to satisfy his sick needs. Remember my point guys, the honest and caring human being, when looking at a beautiful young woman wearing short skirts or revelaing clothes, will look at her with admiration, perhaps thinking how lovely would be to have her as his comapanion, he will never thing about raping that young woman, he is civilized, he knows the times we live in and the freedom we all should enjoy and he respect each and everyone else's freedom as he expects for hius freedom to be respected, BUT THE RAPIST he doesnt see it that way, he is sick in his mind, women should never be afraid of wearing revealing clothes. Continues....

Continued....BUT and I repeat we live in a world made of civilized people unfortunately the world is also full of uncivilized and sick minded people which includes rapist, THE RAPIST DOES NOT see that young and beautiful woman; so to conclude, as Robert said when a woman wears revealing clothes there never an excuse for raping her I absolutely agree, but as I mentioned before leaving the house door open shouldn’t excuse being burgled, yet it happens, so my conclusion is be aware and try to protect your own self as you protect your properties and belongings, YOU BODY is part of that.
For you all to know, some developments related to my case, my barrister as asked and obtained an adjournment as he intend calling few witnesses, will let you know how all goes when the time come. Again that you all who contributed to this forum, rest assured that when I read the comments I somehow feel better, thank you all.
P.S. Please let this be an exchange of opinions, no one should believe that his/her opinion is the right one, I sure love reading all others opinions and accept it as they are meant to be.