I'm a woman who has experienced the effects of both being molested, and having someone falsely accused.

Certainly the first thing an accused person says is "I didn't do it". Trouble is, what else would a person who didn't do it say?

You want to discuss insensitivity, obliviousness, and lack of compassion, try being an innocent person targeted for vengeance by a false accuser.

If you need to vent and fume your anger and victimhood, there are hundreds of thousands of man-hater sites with willing 'friends' to sooth and comfort you.

For victims of false accusations, there are rare few, and regularly attacked from 'victims' declaring the need for all 'victims' to be believed.

I wonder how many 'survivor' sites have the falsely accused screaming for them to keep quiet about their experience? To disparage them for their 'insensitivity', or for having the NERVE to compare their pain as equal?

You need to experience a false accusation for yourself, my friend. THEN you may have the right to decree how others feel about the exerience.

For the record I'll post the orignal comment from the Newsworthy Rape thread which got me thinking that this topic discussion.

"What disappoints me about these discussion threads is that there seem to be a heap of people out there who seem to take the position that a false accusation is as bad as or worse than a violent rape. I think if you asked most people what they'd rather experience, the choice would be pretty clear." http://forum.onlineopinion.com.au/thread.asp?article=5484#70061

I take the view that we do need to look at these types of issues as a complete picture. If we look in isolation then it's to easy to take measures to help one aspect of the problem while ignoring the impacts on other area. In this case measures taken to support those claiming to have been raped may impact on an innocent persons ability to defend themselves.

I'll accept the charge Lizzie has previously made that I've not really put the side of the argument about rape, from my perspective that's because I think that issue is fairly well covered elsewhere (but if Ronnie's comments about people becoming blase about rape then maybe that's not the case).

I've tried to keep the profile of the need for a balance between protecting actual victims from further harm and the right to the ability to defend your self. How do we achieve that?

Ronnie, if you want to contribute then please do so but if your posts continue to be primarily personal attacks on those who hold a different view to yourself then I will assume that you are more interested in point scoring than discussion. I'd rather have the discussion.

R0bert

Seether said: “What disappoints me about these discussion threads is that there seem to be a heap of people out there who seem to take the position that a false accusation is as bad as or worse than a violent rape. I think if you asked most people what they'd rather experience, the choice would be pretty clear.”

RObert, you need to consider this in the context of the “violent rape” outlined in the article being discussed.
“Take, for example, the case of Martin Giles. Around the time of the ABS Crime and Justice Survey, in October 1998, Martin Giles invited a friend for a ride in his car. They smoked some marijuana, and it appears there was some dispute about whether the young woman had paid for her share. Giles tried to start the car and when he could not do so, an argument ensued. He then strangled the woman with the tie of her tracksuit. He raped her twice while she was unconscious. We don’t know if he said anything about what he was about to do, or if he called her anything. Giles beat, stabbed and mutilated the woman, and when he had finished he inserted in her body the scissors he had used, and walked home.
In sentencing Giles, the judge refrained (as I have done here) from recounting all the facts of the rapes and murder because of their disturbing nature. Most of those facts can be consulted in case reports. The reports came up in an electronic search for cases containing the words “genital” and “mutilation”.
The rape of the young woman by Giles was not atypical in many respects. Indeed, when Giles appealed against the severity of his sentence, one of the appeal judges drew attention to the similarity of the case with other “appalling crimes of violence” committed by young men who had come before him. Giles and his victim were well acquainted: she was savagely and contemptuously betrayed by a man she knew and trusted.”
There is a third choice - neither. RObert you want discussion without opposing views expressed.

Continues from above (sorry but due to PC problems I was unable to post straight after my previous post)
My children and grandchildren will be known as the RAPIST family and that is absolutely a disgrace, the justice system don’t give a damn about the consequences of a person being falsely accused of rape, community will remember for a very long time to come. P.S. The reason why I know the woman lifestyle even now is simply because as I mentioned before I am very well know within a community section so many come to me trying to help, willing to testify in court the lifestyle this woman has been enjoying since the very first day after the allegations, I honestly believed till now that a victim of RAPE would have been somehow scarred for a while, not wanting to go anywhere or see anyone, especially men’s, obviously I watch too many movies. If you are going to bash me again for writing what I wrote please go ahead and do that but before doing it I beg you to read and understand the contents not just a single statement, that will be unfair. Whatever the case I believe of having said enough, I thank each and every one of you for your words kind or not kind I still thank you all and wish to each and every one of you to never be in my situation.
Celivia I do have a special comments for you, I feel very much offended of you comparing me with Sheik Hilali (or whatever his name was), you more than anyone else only read the words that interested you most, please go back and read the full post, understand it, then go ahead and offend me again if you feel it’s warranted.
Having said that, I do respect the opinion you have of me, I don’t have to necessarily agree with it.

Onlyone, dear friend, I really have no concerns if you find my comments about god repugnant, but I do have concerns about you finding my comments about women clothing repugnant, for you to do that it means you missed the CONTEXT of my comments, please read again then perhaps you will see that I DID NOT made any derogatory comments about women clothing, I only suggested that a woman should do her utmost to protect herself against the possibility of being molested (not necessarily raped) just as she would do her utmost to protect anything that belongs to her, like her car, her house, her purse, her handbag, to conclude what I have been trying to say has been completely misenterpreted by few, it doesn't matter though, I beg to differ and reaffirm that wearing revealing clothes MIGHT lead to troubles, NEVER meant to say that a woman wearing revealing clothes IS ASKING TO BE RAPED, I beg you all read all my posts again and again then condemn me if need be.
I will continue to read every post in here, I am not sure if will respond or comment any longer. Once again I beg your pardon if I offended anyone, I never meant to do any of that so please accept my sincere apologies if what I wrote offended anyone.

I was recently falsely accused in relation to a violent street offence in which I was actually the victim of a serious assault and also when I was involved with a lobby group the right-wing tossers slandered and harassed us so much that it nearly destroyed our marriage. I know how it feels to hear the direct lies and smear that people spread in a community; or be knocked out, a retina torn, teeth broken and then having the bully claim provocation. I was trying to leave when hit.

But these pale into insignificance compared to my background which has many unpleasant memories in relation to deviant male behaviour and attitudes towards women. My experience is probably more salient than Onlyone or RObert willl ever know.

Not comparable to rape and not comparable to being falsely accused of rape – but growing experiences nonetheless.

Having said that, researchers have shown that people with imagination and reasonable intellect can have empathy with harmed people.

Rape is a heinous crime and society, family and friends are more likely to lose a lot more from the escalation in rape cases than from false accusations. False accusations of rape are made in a controlled environment (police station or lawyer’s office) and thus are more manageable (for instance: introduce lie detectors). The rapist uses the streets- even people’s homes. There is little control before police involvement. Then the lawyers cometh, the accuser becomes the accused (on top of the physical damage and mental anguish of being raped victims also have the mental anguish of being accused of being a false accuser).

I once visited mentalwards regularly and there are a large number of women there because of mental trauma associated with rape, sexual assaults. I haven’t heard of one victim of mental illnes because of a false accusation. The carnage from rape is more prevalent in society than false accusations. Both are bad, both happen - a comparison of the two is inflammatory and unhelpful.

Onlyone said: “You need to experience a false accusation for yourself… ”

These are not words of goodwill or empathy.