Okay Fractelle let me guess, is this you?

http://www.failking.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/diving-board-fail.jpg

Did you do this?
http://www.methodshop.com/picts/ouch/bike-faceplant.jpg

Or this?
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_D-LZxhXlNXY/Ry_nxeLoISI/AAAAAAAABKM/Kg9OvDOhMsA/s400/funny%2Bpictures.jpg

Was this you?
http://lollitop.anel.cc/blog_files/blonde_crash_3.jpg

Was this you??
http://hank.me/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/woops.jpg

You been ice skating?
http://z.about.com/d/figureskating/1/0/C/Y/-/-/SineadKerrJohnKerrJunkoKimuraGetty.jpg

On your bike again?
http://www.eylence.az/blogs/media/motorcycle-accident-rider-flying-through-the-air.jpg

Did you take this photo?
http://mickeys.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/oops.jpg

The animal shelter didn’t give you one of these did it?
http://pics4.picvi.com/media/pics/2008/12/21/BeautifulNature/21.jpg

You been fighting?
http://img.xcitefun.net/users/2008/05/3889,xcitefun-female-wrestler.jpg

Were you drunk?
http://zoice.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/drunk2.jpg

I, Sancho Anchovy, love anchovies.

Eggplant, however, is a vile abomination against god and should be purged in the name of all that is pure.

Piper

You make me laugh out loud.

Alas, I cannot point to any of the pics and say "that's the one" - rather like the idea of the wild-cat/lynx. And I wasn't even drunk.

After a lifetime of cheating death, adrenalin addiction and just doing stuff for the hell of it, my blemish free complexion is no more. Just a banal stupid fall, that was my own fault. Normally I am very adept at the fall, tuck in and roll. None of that. My nemesis was an electric cord that caught my ankle, I still could've fallen in any direction and just been badly bruised, instead my face connected with the coffee table.

Thanks to modern science I have recovered extremely well from the following:

Fractured nose - since reset and very happy with result - perfectly straight.
Two gouges - 1 below left nostril and on side of nose - scarring reduced to minimum by amazing Silicon Plaster which reduces redness and swollen scars.
One jagged cut above left eyebrow requiring aforementioned stitches - now much reduced, can hide under blond fringe, but nerve damage to left side of forehead extending into scalp. Still painful.

Clearly I should not be left alone in the safety of my own home - but stick me on a motorbike, hang me off the side of a mountain, face-off an angry doberman (don't even ask), talk my way out of potential gang-bang, no problems.

I guess I've had my little rant now. Feeling much better and the scarring is so minimal it has not affected my work.

Dear Fractelle,

OMG - it sounds dreadful, and very painful.

But, very relieved that you're OK!

Take more care in future - please!

That's just super special Foxy. I'm sure I speak for all
of us when I say you're in our hearts as well. You know,
this crazy world we live in doesn't give us time
to appreciate the flowers, and the love and
affection of the special people in our lives.
Though we know nothing about each other,
I'm sure in real life we'd just get on
like a house on fire.

Just a special thank you Foxy
for just being you, sitting there in your fluffy kitten slippers
drinking camomile tea. I always imagine you fondly sitting by the
window, looking out at your tulips on a sunny day,
making doilies while you wait for the shortbread in the oven to
be ready.

If I happen to upset you in the future,
know it would never be my intention,
and I apologise ahead of time if I ever
say anything that even makes you heart sink
for the shortest moment.

Bigger Hug!

We so have your back Foxy…

To Houel,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ITZBBV8Syg

From the OLO girls.