Dear Belly,

I've read an interesting article on the web
"Act as if...Do we need to fake it to make it?"
by Alan J. Butler. According to him -
it seems that you do.

It gives a different slant on 'faking it.'

Butler works with what society refers to as -
'damaged people,' substance abusers, troubled
souls ...

He stresses the importance of acting 'as if.'
He says that positive feelings lead to positive
actions. That you'll pick up the necessary skills
as you go along. But act as if you're already there.
In other words - 'fake it.'

He reminds us that you may have attended a job
interview where you felt inside that you were out of
your depth, or you may have had to speak in public,
where the butterflies in your stomach told you
you weren't going to make it. However, if you took
a deep breath - and act confidently - pretty soon
you begin to adapt to the part.

What he's basically stressing is - if you want to
change your self-centred lifestyle - start helping
others, become a volunteer. If you want to be addiction
free- start acting as if you're already there. Fake it
until you make it!

many of the self help books talk about positive visualisation,..live like you allready suceeded...besides the measure for succes is so meager...it takes so little talent to appear to be succesfull

i had a workmate once...arrived in a suit/left in a suit...but worked in overall;s,,,for all anyone knew he was a lawyer...

no body knows..the world is so full of fakes...a few more wont nmake any difference...what is my success or failure...or yours to mine...its as if nothing...

as long as we dont become a failure in our own eyes we just fine...it shouldnt matter to anyone else...who should be focusing.. on themselves

Has anyone seen the movie 'Liar Liar' with Jim Carrey?

It is a comedy suggesting what may happen if people are unable to lie or fake their comments/observations when out in the community.

Although this movie was a comedy, it did show how people we don't know very well, or even some we do, may become offended or hurt unless we twist the truth a little.

There is nothing wrong with faking a reply or observation if it is not illegal or very important, and it will only serve to make someone's day!

Foxy
I expected from you to be fighter for women's rights, for human rights, not to convert them to clowns of their husbands! If a woman can not desagree with her husband for the jokes then how she could desagree with him in more important issues?
I thought you promote the woman fighter for her rights not the woman clown of her husband. Very sorry FOXY but you seem broken and you forgot women's rights.

"Imagine if I told my boss what I really thought of some of his
ideas" Why not? If you belong in the managment group this is part of your job, but even if you are in the lowest level even then if you desagree or you think you have a good idea then it is not bad to tell him your ideas! Most modern employers want new ideas and there is no problem if you tell him yours.
Foxy what hapened with you? where is your strength what happened with the foxy activist? You read many books and you forgot your roots, the core of your basic ideas. WE ARE NOT FAKE PERSONS. WE FIGHT FOR OUR RIGHTS, FOR OUR INTEGRITY, THERE IS NO OTHER SOLUSION
Did you read The Pied Piper' post? "Well see that is what I admire about you – brutal honesty." and that is what I admire about her top maturity, sensitivity, honesty!
Antonios Symeonakis
Adelaid

Suze, that's a good point with the Liar Liar thing aye. He couldn’t shut up though. Maybe the ones who are very honest mean that when they choose to speak they will be totally honest?

Foxy I agree, nothing wrong with faking it for the right reasons – including retaining an income for your family.

Pelican if you fake (untruth/pretending) something for your partner, gawd trying to think of an example… okay so they trim the hedge and its wrong, cut way too much off and they’re quite pleased with their efforts and ask you what you think – I’d be grinning and saying “yeah you made a lot of work for yourself there..." then blither on about something else. Now a few days later I would say “I’m thinking maybe not so much off next time aye”.

I faked the response the first time because it just was not required or helpful in the moment. It is all part of good husband training.[smile] Just had a thought – that was more avoidance of truth, is that faking it?

Seeker:”So what is it they say about a woman scorned? Or is that only about what they do to men and not to each other?”

Oh Seeker when a woman’s love turns to hatred even heaven can’t compete with that rage, hell has no fury that would compare. No gender is safe.

Pied
It would depend on how important you think the hedge is. If you really would rather it not be cut so low next time (or wonky) then I would say exactly what you said "maybe not so much off next time and it looks good a little higher" or something like that. That is not faking it.

Maybe we need a definition of faking. I would argue that accepting someones shortcomings is not faking but compromise.