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The Forum > General Discussion > The Deconstruction of Wedding Vows

The Deconstruction of Wedding Vows

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From the Stand by your Man Thread:
“Surely that particular vow is about things around the couple getting better or worse and not a member of the actual couple spazing out?”

Now I am really thinking about it (notably Col is approaching his big day) and wondering how people have interpreted the vows they have made. Mine were the:
"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part."

Well we obviously do not spend every day having and holding anything.

Sickness and in health; would Dementia or Alzheimer’s alter this when they are no longer that person?

The death bit might have been the only part I truly understood for me but do people of faith understand it the same way or do some believe they will again meet and the vows are beyond mortal death?

I am seriously now wondering what I agreed to.
Posted by The Pied Piper, Thursday, 20 August 2009 12:46:47 PM
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Yeah I was a bit worried about you. Maybe you signed a contract and you didn't think clearly about the fine print.

I always say to her indoors, if you want to get married, you have to use traditional vows. Love, honour,.... AND OBEY!

She rejected this so the whole things off! That's it! If you're going to do these things, you must do them properly. You cant just stand on tradition like that!

Weddings crack me up. The ones I've been to I've gone through the
whole ceremony with a smirk on my face bigger than captain smirk
Peter Costello.

There's just so much cliché man! Such a performance, and it costs so much. Then if it doesn't, it looks so sad in the government offices. The Elvis Impersonator in Vegas had me tempted though.

I'm sure Col's wedding will be stylish though,
and my god I'd love to see the pictures of him in his suit!

Hoo, it's getting hot in here.

Hey a friend went to a super chav wedding recently
and the best man opened his speech with
'I prepared a few lines, but I snorted them earlier.'

Ah, wish I was at that one! Maybe they had ice sculptures!
Posted by Houellebecq, Thursday, 20 August 2009 5:14:53 PM
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The Pied Piper
The question is not only the vows but also your expectations before you make your vows!
Are you sure that your expectations realized or you remember only the vows?
What about your dreams, hopes, promises, happiness, respect, love, your personal sensitivities WHAT ABOUT YOUR CURRENT EXPECTASIONS IN RELATION WITH YOUR EXPECTATIONS YOU HAD WHEN YOU MADE YOUR VOWS?
Are they same or changed?
Is your current values, your current sensitivies same with the old one when you made your vows?
Do you think we do not have the right to change, we do not have the right to make mistakes we do not have the right to correct our mistake?
When we start to thing about our vows already we recognize the existens of problems, the need for new begin!
Did you and your partner moved with the same speed and to the same direction or diferent speed, defferent directions and the distance between you grew up, and your expectations, dreams, hopes and happines etc does not exist any more ?
From your posts I found that you are not only honest but very smart person , did you find that you developed your self, your abilities, your qualifications and experiences you deserve or simple you stack on the bottom, or your relations was hopeless for you!
If you gave big promises because you had big expectations but your expectations never realized, if you moved with your partner to diferent directions and with different speed, IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY, IF YOU FEEL THAT YOU HAVE WEASTED YOUR LIFE FROM THESE RELATIONS , IF YOU FIND A NEW DREAM, A NEW HOPE FOR A BETTER LIFE, FOR A BETTER FUTURE, IF YOUR HEART DRIVE YOU TO AN OTHER MAN, IF...IF... THEN A NEW LIFE, A NEW BEGIN, A NEW FRESH DREAM, NEW PROMISES AND NEW VOWS WILL GIVE YOU THE STRENGTH YOU NEED TO REBUILD YOUR LIFE, TO FIND YOUR HAPPINES!
The requirment is the HAPPINES and ONLY you can give the right anwser for it.
Antonios Symeonakis
Adelaide
Posted by ASymeonakis, Thursday, 20 August 2009 5:25:16 PM
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Dear Piper,

I can't remember the vows I made because I had
taken medication that my GP had prescribed for
my nerves - prior to the ceremony - and I simply
smiled at everything... and thought it was
wonderful!

However I went to my niece's wedding recently
and I loved the words of her vows:

"I cannot promise you a life of sunshine,
I cannot promise riches, wealth, or gold;
I cannot promise you an easy pathway
That leads away from change or growing old.
But I can promise all my heart's devotion;
A smile to chase away your tears of sorrow;
A love that's ever true and ever growing'
A hand to hold in yours through each tomorrow."

For the Exchange of rings they said:

"With this ring, I give you my trust, my love and my heart.
Like the circle of love that protects us, may this ring
symbolize our love for eternity."
Posted by Foxy, Thursday, 20 August 2009 5:38:37 PM
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Foxy that was lovely and I so get what you mean about needing a GP now and again, I fully self medicated immediately after mine. I haven’t been to a wedding since my older sisters when I was 15 and a foolish looking flower girl or something – had to wear a dress and everything. My sister’s dress was pink and she was like 8 months pregnant and it was honestly like something out of The Benny Hill Show.

Hey Houel, that best man – awesome. Speaking of which I just boogied into the fungus thread about being wise but ran away after I realized that it was actually referring to learning about fungus. Oh goody now I’m derailing my own thread.

But anyway I will tell the brief story of my wedding. I said brief! Already had two small kids, didn’t want flash, I am very non-flash. So rocked up to local registry office to find out how it’s all done on the Monday and they go “oh yeah we have an opening this Wednesday”, “yeah sure” says I then spotted the bead of sweat running down future hubby’s temple. “Suck it up” says I to future hubby.

Wednesday rolls around and we both went there thinking you signed something and walked out. Nah we get dragged in to this room and a dude, with a collar on is waiting and he does proper vows. We both felt a bit blindsided. That was 13 years ago now and here is me just now thinking what on earth did I promise?

I’m happy as but now wondering what it was all about and are their real circumstances that void vows?
Posted by The Pied Piper, Thursday, 20 August 2009 7:41:55 PM
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I am devorsed! Both sites have responsibilities, if one change mind very often, if does not like to do anything, if have two buchelors, law in Athens, english teaching in Adelade and she worked some months in her life, If she did not like to undertake any responsibilities at home, at work, etcIF....IF...IF.... At the end I divorsed her, she colapsed mentaly the day I devorsed and returned to her country.
When I went to take my children and bring them in Australia I found she had a photo next to her bed of her weding with me!
STATISTICS FOR 2007
Divorces, Australia,
Divorces granted 47 963
Median age at divorce for males 44.2
Median age at divorce for females 41.3
Median age at divorce for males
AGE-HIGHEST DIVORCE RATES FOR MALES 40-44
AGE-HIGHEST DIVORCE RATES FOR FEMALES 35-39
LENGTH OF MARRIAGE FOR DIVORCING COUPLES 7.8 years
Divorces involving children(e) 49.3%
Type of applicant males 13 216
Type of applicant females 18 571
Type of applicant Joint 16 172
http://www.abs.gov.au/AUSSTATS/abs@.nsf/mf/3307.0.55.001


Percentage of New Marriages which End in Divorce
Sweden 54.9
Australia 46
United States 45.8
United Kingdom 42.6
Germany 39.4
Greece 15.7
Spain 15.2
India 1.1

Variation in divorce rates by religion in USA
Jews 30%
Born-again Christians 27%
Other Christians 24%
Atheists, Agnostics 21%

divorce rates among Christian faith groups
Evangelical Christian congregations 34%
Baptists 29%
Mainline Protestants 25%
Mormons 24%
Catholics 21%
Lutherans 21%

Recent studies reveal that 45-55% of married women and 50-60% of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their relationship.

57% of people have used the Internet to flirt.
One-third of divorce litigation is caused by online affairs.
Approximately 70% of time on-line is spent in chat rooms or sending e-mail!
75% of men and 65% of women admit to having sex with people they work with.
one partner will have an affair in approximately 80 percent of all marriages
http://www.menstuff.org/issues/byissue/infidelitystats.html
The Pied Piper, my friend I know you are a good person!
Antonios Symeonakis
Adelaide
Posted by ASymeonakis, Thursday, 20 August 2009 8:01:42 PM
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