I am not sure what other social arrangements between couples intending to have children would work better than the marriage commitment. Please propose one! Even defacto (non registered relationship) relationships only work on he same social commitment to each other and become subject to the same property and custody laws etc as marriage after two years or if children are involved.

The break up of a relationship or a partner cheating in a relationship brings the same trauma and dysfunction to society even if not married.

With the rise in children in families with different fathers leaves all sorts of dysfunctional relationships, visiting rights and heritage. Even in families with different mothers the age old problem of jealousy and conflict arises, i.e. Sarah's Isaac and Hagar's Ishmael. We still bear the results of this family conflict in the Middle East 3,000 years after their original feud.

Just back after attending a couple of family weddings in a week, and one thing I noticed at the respective ceremonies is that God didn't get a mention... although both contained words of wisdom purportedly of Native American origin. One was in Melbourne, the other near Byron Bay, both professional 30s couples with children from prior de facto relationships. Go figure.

I've had a go at it a couple of times, unsuccessfully. I've been with my partner for over 7 years now, and we have a much better relationship than either of us experienced in our prior marriages. At one of the weddings we just attended, both of my ex-wives and my partner were there together - a truly frightening prospect, but it turned out wonderfully. In fact, my partner got on so well with my first wife that she half-seriously mused about what it would be like for the three of us to live together.

Needless to say, my response was rather negative. Anyway, in my experience marriage is unnecessary. However, for those who want to publicly contract themselves to another person, I agree with those who argue for a broader definition of marriage.

@Romany
You wrote "I want to turn out the lamp when I am ready to turn out the lamp, and eat when and what I want to eat, and never have to seek anyone elses permission or put up with their negativity when I'm feeling positive."
FULLY I AGREE WITH YOU!
In additional NO FRIENDS! NO GOD! NO LIMITS! (Except from MY principles, MY values, MY moral code)
FULLY INDEPENDANT FROM THE OTHERS.
Ouhhh! dangerous trojan horse!
Eviva singles!
Antonios Symeonakis
Symeonakis

Dear Sharkfin, I am a bit embarrassed. I first came online must be about 3 months ago now looking for forums with other foster parents but mostly found rather angry parents whose children had been abused while in care or parents that didn’t want their little ones in care.

I have had some huge arguments with a few who view me as a DoCS employee, not to mention I only do it for the money and apparently was abused as a child so just looking for payback.

I wasn’t as reasonable at times as I am trying to be here so there were some incredibly abusive rows that I (to be honest) quite enjoyed. Col would have thought it very base.

The praise is most welcome I was getting tired of defending myself. No actually that isn’t fair of me, I did also find many parents who were fully supportive of what I do.

And I am sure I spread those figures over different messages Sharkfin not thinking anyone would put them together. It’s weird aye, 106 children – certainly doesn’t feel like that many. Doesn’t feel like ten years either. And I am now 41, and my username everywhere is Jewely because “Julie” is always taken. I am terribly honest (although probably not great at delivering it clearly) and kind of stubborn.

I arrived in Oz three years ago from NZ where I was also fostering children and have had 26 Aussie kids in my care to date. But this also means I don’t get out much and never understood politics or the way things are done here at all.

And Thank you too Foxy, the least I can do is try to entertain a bit while I am around.

Now I wish Romany was right here in my kitchen because I would like to hold her by the shoulders and give her a good shake.

Jewely - Um-ahhh,why do you want to shake me? Mind you, its been done many times before, so I guess I am just a shakeable person.

But hey, I was amazed to read in another thread how you considered Fractell and I as "parenting". You wouldn't wanna shake yer dear ole Mum-person, now would you?

I gathered that, as I am a parenting type and female, that would make me motherly? Gad! I don't think I am anyone's idea of a mother - even those who know I am one. I have fleuro pink or purple or whatever- the -mood -takes -me hair, a heavy-duty nasal piercing, a star tat. on my neck (and another which I've mentioned before on OLO)
jingle when I walk from all the bracelets, anklets, rings, baubles and bells and I dress in such a way that even my best friends sometimes send me back to the house to change before they will be seen dead with me. (I don't mean provocative-sexy - provoctive as in I love to dress up - also as the mood takes me - which provokes everyone around me because I never consider the effect this has on the nearest and dearest. Or anyone at all, for that matter).

I am reliably informed by two young men that they grew up absolutely immune to embarrassement because of my presence in their lives. Took the heat off them, so to speak!

Dear examinator,

You ask me -

What am I intrigued about, do tell?

Ok. perhaps I didn't word it properly in my
previous post -
so I'll try again. From the few sentences of
yours I deducted that you were a person who
felt things deeply and the indication or the
inference from this was that you would indeed
be either searching for your soul mate or be
open to finding one. Yet your sentence of -
"Does that mean I should waste my life looking?"
Was a contradiction. That was what I found to be
puzzling. Make sense now?

I made a mistake and my apologies - you
obviously rather than being governed by your emotions,
prefer to rationalise things in your mind.

Fair enough.