*I agree with you about Jewely - she's probably the
smartest of us all.*

Well this thread has certainly been amusing to read and
confirms many of my previous convictions.

Women commonly have the need to get together, wherever,
and tell each other how they feel.

No matter what it is, they can rationise the whole lot
away in a jiffy.

Next they will pat each other on the back and call
that intelligence.

The OLO housewives club is alive and well!

Have fun girls :)

Who let him in? Protagy darl, I know you have a soft spot for stuff that lives in mud but c’mon, the movie is about to start, and he’s a freaky little bugger at the best of times always poppin’ in an out saying weird shet to us all. Hey Romany grab us a cold one out the escky would ya luv?

I’s gonna tell ya ‘bout last night after the bar closed, me and Romany got completely sh!tfaced let me tell you. Then we’re out side on our arses singin’ funniest friggin song about blokes you’d ever heard, wish I could damn remember it now… but anyways.. . Hey Foxy move your skinny arse out the way, I like this add.

Yeh but there was more right… Ginx walks past right mumbling summit about errors an crap and I go hey Ginx how’s it hanging and go on Ginx tell em what you said, nah c’mon, oh alright then I’ll tell it, she goes Jewely you are a sod, just like that, outta the freeken blue I swear, she was fair yellin’ an all – been round that new swish club at the corner…she got a shock from the look on my face cause straight after yelling at me she just about fair wees herself right there in the street. Well I picked me self up and closed me mouth then opened it again and I fair told her sod is as sod does and bugger me if she started laughing at me again! Gawd you’re a fair worry to a girl you are Ginx.

Yabby if you’re just gonna stand their glaring at us can ya make yaself useful, like go do a fry up or summit I’m sure I spotted some eggs in the fridge, there’s a good fella.

Bejeesus Fractelle go watch him incase he makes a mess in there and Proggy you get rid of the dude. Ring Rehctub and tell him t’cum pick the dude up and tak'em out hunting or killing or wateva it is they like doin when not chopping things up.

Dear Yabby,

Why must you always get to a point
in your posts where you become a
demolition expert and try to blow up
other people's self-esteem - especially
women?

What creates this weakness in you -I'm
still trying to figure out. Is it your ego
that's so fragile that you aren't capable
of dealing with women on an equal footing?

You're welcome to contribute on the subject of
this thread - but next time try to actually
say something on the topic.

Foxy
You are right I am passionate about almost everything I do one way or the other.
Including the soul mate issues. There comes a time when one needs to be objective about the circumstances in which we find our selves. Those that find and marry soul mates are an extremely lucky especially in this high expectation culture.
The problem to crisis counselors face that movies, books, dating agencies etc. extol the ideal as being everybody's right and always attainable. It all depends on your expectations.
Figures from the 60's show that most marriages were between people who live in the same localities + or – four suburbs (hence the partners were of similar background expectations etc.) I think you can extrapolate from there.

The reality is that some people marry in haste and repent at leisure. In the final analysis one needs to be sure of what one wants from a marriage and therefore are we prepared to put in the requisite effort.
Some people who marry do so for the wrong reasons but are happy anyway.

One must also remember your needs and their needs need to be accomodatable if disaster is to be avoided. This include accepting the person as they are not hoping you can change some flaws. They may change but banking on it is particularly risky i.e. the number of unhappy wives who marry a wayward male and then spend their years lonely I've spoken to would fill a book. Likewise males who marry a woman because she's comfortable but causes him grief as he goes up in the company and she lags behind.

Some people and I've met some who grew/grow into their soul mateship. Contrary to much conversation for many people arranged marriages can work. Granted in our culture they may not be that successful I put that down to cultural expectation.

Given some of the natures on this site more personal information has proven to be unwise but if you contact me via my email I have no problem in telling more or answering.

Dear examinator,

Thank you for answering so openly and honestly.

I agree that finding your soul mate is one of
the hardest things in the world. I've seen many
marriages fail for some of the reasons you so
eloquently described. And my own marriage certainly
had its problems. However I was lucky. I found a
grown man who was capable of loving fully, with all
of his heart. I know it isn't always easy to keep
the flame burning. People grow comfortable with
each other, or they become creatures of habit.
And they aren't always in tune with their partners.

There is nothing more unpleasant for me than to see
a man stripped of his power. I've watched it happen
in my own home growing up. I learned at an early age
that it's far better to respect a man who has his own
life, his own excitement, his own passion. I never
tried to "tame the beast." I wouldn't be happy with
a man who just says, "Yes, dear." I believe in working
alongside my partner - and making it work.

Fingers-crossed, so far so good.

Protagoras -

Thank you very much for trusting us all enough to share your post with us. I really think its important for people to feel they have a safe space where they can communicate: we can all learn so much from each other.

It is on behalf of women and men like you and others who tell their stories, that I get so indignant at the mean spiritedness of those few who, waving their tattered banner of Freedom of Speech, effectively shut down such voices, robbing others of that very right through ridicule, abuse and game-playing.

As for me dissenting from accepted doctrines? That didn't start out as a conscious decision. Because of the combination of a set of very eccentric parents and our lifestyle together I think, in retrospect, it was just a result of sheer ignorance.

Mind you, I spent years desperately and pathetically trying to "fit in".

In the context not just of marriage however, but of permanent and long-term relationships, I find it ironic that in every case it was my square peg-ness that attracted my partners in the first place. They then, with one single exception, spent the duration of the relationship trying to fit me into their round holes. And I tried - especially so in the case of both marriages - very, very hard to sqash myself in.

I guess that's why I am so content now. I finally realised I can't be something I'm not and, as long as I stay single, I don't have to try to second-guess what anyone elses ideas of what I should be are, nor to feel inadequate because I'm not it.