Marriage is great fun, if you have the right mate. It can be a great pain if you dont, but it is probably neccessary for the healthy upbringing of children. In my Church they have a program for young irresponsible men, who have never had a male role model,to show them how to be a man. Men are born male, but grow to be men.

I am reliably informed that girls also thrive better when they have a male around to show them what to expect in a mate. It is so sad when they are short changed, by bad choices on their mothers behalf. I think love is probably the greatest glue in a relationship, and if love is present, marriage in fact if not law, is effected.

If there are no children, it can still be a boon and often is, but it is almost a neccessary for a good childhood, provided both parents behave decently to each other and the kids themselves.

Have to agree Peter. The problem is not the committment of one to another in marriage that is at fault. It is the attitudes and poor behaviour of one or both that destroys relationships. This relationship problem occurrs even without a marriage committment.

I have two daughters; the eldest and her husband did the six weeks pre-marriage course with the Anglican Church so had a better understanding of what that commitment meant. Though they are volitile people they love and are committed to each other. My youngest went into a relationship (no marriage) through sexual attraction and once the real persons were known it all fell apart. He was a playboy.

*What creates this weakness in you *

Oops Foxy, there was silly me, being rational and logical
once again. Its a shocking habit, I know.

I have long ago learned to laugh at the foibles of our
human nature, its a constant amusement.

Clearly some of you with delicate little egos have
a problem with that.

Perhaps when you get a bit older, you will learn to
take yourself a bit less seriously. It makes for
far more contented living, I assure you.

I believe that that the key to all this
is that one person may do all they can to
keep their relationship as healthy as can
be, but it's not enough. Your partner has to
be working alongside you. If they're not -
it's not going to work.

You can make a promise to be there forever.
But a promise to be there fully for as long
as you're there is even better.

Anyway - whatever works for you.

This has been an interesting thread
and I'd like to Thank everyone for their input.
I've got nothing more that I can add.
Again, Thanks for sharing your thoughts on
this topic - and I wish you all every possible
happiness along your chosen life's path.

Take care.

Romany: “ yeah, see: I twigged it a while ago, girl. All this Columbus-like stuff about how you have to go off and think things through etc. is a crock...you are the smartest of us all.”

I was going to go hahaha yes you caught me I am the golden child of mensa international – I don’t know what “colombus-like” refers to and neither does google or I would have fully faked you out. I like thinking, I always end up inventing weird products though and not new thoughts.

“You really did do me good : I very rarely mention that first experience - kinda gets lost in the face of the wife-beating, alcoholic, sociopath who was Number Two. So it was a strange experience to take it out and look at it all over again. And, on an objective level I fully get what you are saying.”

Doing good is cool. I wish I was around for your second marriage, now those types are right up my alley – or at least I know what to do about them in a dark one.

Thank you Foxy, can’t say I had stared my marriage in the face for a long time. It looked back and smiled.