Dear Sharkfin,

A prostitute hides your identity, but there is no reason to think it is because of a sense that she (there are also male prostitutes) is doing anything wrong. She hides because in most places it is an illegal act. There is no good reason that it is an illegal act. Law should not be used to enforce morality.

Prostitution is an act engaged in by consenting adults. Acts engaged in by consenting adults where there is no coercion, violence or fraud should not be illegal. There is reason for state intervention to minimise transmission of disease, but there is no reason to criminalise that activity.

There are people in jail for selling or possessing drugs and pornography. Those should not be crimes either. Where there is coercion (we can assume coercion if children are involved as they assumed not capable of giving informed consent) the activity is wrong. However, prostitution, drugs and pornography where they are consensual activity among adults should simply be nobody else's business.

Thomas Jefferson said, "A wise and frugal government, which shall restrain men from injuring each other, shall leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement."

Whether those pursuits constitute industry and improvement should be decided by those engaging in them.

Sharkfin,
I think you missed the point. Morality issues of prostitutes are a not really at stake here. Sancho simply made the point albeit a little harshly that the pro isn’t at fault here.

Davidf and others
I think your perspective is a trifle naïve or overly simplistic.
Not all people are as capable of your level of smarts. Likewise there are often as many reasons contributing reasons why some take on this activity. Some highly complex, some as a consequence of childhood molestation, some because of poor options the list goes on.

Claims of no coercion are just not sustainable even in countries where prostitution is legal.

Drugs and porn are a different topics and motivations all together and only linked in the minds of the morally turbo charged or those with an axe to grind.

All
I have serious concern with conversations about men’s hyper sexual needs.
While there are differences between men and women the idea that men in that they must get it regularly or “stray” is unsustainable.
Unless you are defining men by their lizard brain instincts. Always over rule the higher functions of the brain. In which case “she made me do it” or ‘she was asking for it” are valid, which is clearly both scientifically nonsense and therefore preposterous.
(Caveats) there is a rare condition of physical hyper sexual dysfunction (I forget its name). Most other hyper activities in this area are psychologically based.
The best that can be said is that men express their emotions differently which can be cultural or circumstantial.
But the simplistic notion that the reason a man seeks a pro is because he’s not getting it or enough at home is unmitigated pre maturity crap.

Foxy,
I’m not sure I understand what you mean by “You don't
need to keep on explaining yourself.” Go for it.
[Aside] I suspect it might be important feed back. I would like to know as it may help me. Can you either explain on line or contact Graham for my email address? If appropriate.

I've been a little bothered by this discussion since the OP appeared a couple of days back. While I'm sympathetic to Mrs Pierno's sense of betrayal at discovering that her husband had engaged the services of a prostitute, I also have sympathies towards a husband who feels he has to pay for sex and also towards women who derive income from selling sexual services.

While I've never actually paid for sex, I have been in the situation of being married to a woman who lost all interest in sex and refused to talk about it. I eventually had a disastrous short-term affair that effectively ended the marriage, and I've sometimes subsequently wondered if we'd all have been better off if I'd simply gone to a prostitute as the need arose. As it happens, at the time I had acquaintances who were 'working girls' and it would've been relatively easy.

Mind you, if I hadn't ended the marriage I'd never have met the true love of my life, with whom I've spent the past relatively blissful 7 years.

On the other hand my ex, who is your classic career femocrat, has never confronted her lack of sexuality. On the contrary, in her eyes I will always be to blame for breaking up the family. Since I left, she hasn't been able to maintain a committed intimate relationship with any man - despite living with a very nice bloke for several years. I suspect that he left for much the same reasons I did.

I think that this business of re-defining wives of men who visit prostitutes as "victims" is ultimately a means by which they avoid accepting any responsibility for the breakdown of their marriages.

It takes two to tango - or not, as the case may be.

"I have no tolerance for this sort of prostitute bashing" ??
You then proceed to generalise and make assumptions, and bash the poor girls mercilessly! Like all human affairs, there are as many reasons for prostitution as there are participants, it's impossible to generalise. I have known "Ladies of the night" on a social level, some are as nasty as you'd apparently like to think, most are NOT.
Do you expect them to "vet" their clients, to only accept those who are single or have a "note" from their partner? Hardly likely!
As for your final comments about walls and hiding, lol, do YOU live in a glass house? Do you have fences, blinds, curtains? WHY? What are YOU hiding? Do you indulge yourself publicly? Or, like most humans, do you prefer PRIVACY?

Interesting inputs from everyone - giving
mrs p. quite a few insights which should be
helpful.

Dear Maximillion,

Thanks for your kind words.
They've cheered me up enormously!
Bless You!

Dear examinator,

I'll try to explain, as you ask...
As I've said before, people either connect or they don't.
If they do, that means they're going to be starting to
mould to one another. But the moulding process takes time.
You need time - active time in a relationship. Whether it
leads to communication, as it frequently does, or to a
romantic situation, or both. Too often when people are
dating they're rushed into being sexual - a question of
time again.

I like to have taken the time to discover each other. If
both of us like what we have found its exhilarating, and for
me - sheer magic.

As I said previously - relationships crumble and end
because they change, and no longer give you the food
you need. But I like to remain lasting friends, because
as I said earlier - I like the idea of longevity - of
people liking you in spite of having known you for a
long time (i.e. warts and all). Therefore you don't need
to keep on explaining yourself - because they already
know you (who you are). I can't explain it any better
then that.

My perfect partner is - mysterious, sensitive, strong,
these are the qualities I look for. I love tenderness.
But it is the rarest emotion one encounters.

I hope this helps. I'm very flattered that you asked
me to explain something to you - wow!
It's made my Saturday morning that's for sure!

I have serious concern with conversations about men’s hyper sexual needs.
While there are differences between men and women **the idea** that men in that they must get it regularly or “stray” is unsustainable.
Unless you are defining men by their lizard brain instincts

-

I agree totally, but this *idea* goes far beyond just "human emotions" but as Helen Garner revealed in First Stone it is BIG BUSINESS [Secret Wimmins Business].

and appropriate you mention "lizard" as the new victim Brett Stuart the Manly fullback [and the whole game as we know it] has nickname The Snake