I have only just discovered you site. I read an article by Jehane Sharah posted on 12 November, 2008. Her article was termed: The forgotten victims of prostitution. I am one of those victims. In April, 2008 I discovered that my husband was engaging prostitutes. For me, that was the end of the marriage. I was in a state of shock for months and have not yet recovered. I imagine that this is what a victim of rape feels like. To find out that one's husband has been with prostitutes creates a feeling of total betrayal, invasion of one's personal integrity, and overwhelming disgust. I intend to gather more information on this topic and would welcome hearing from anyone else who has had this experience. I am fifty-seven years old and have not exactly had a sheltered background. I can't imagine what it would feel like for a young, trusting wife to experience this. To me, prostitution is not acceptable and I am happy to state that publicly. Good on you, Jehane Sharah for your article. I have no legal redress for this absolute violation of my rights.

mrs pierno

Sorry to hear of your betrayal by your husband. It happens far to often. I hope at some stage you find it in your heart to forgive this man for his gross betrayal of trust. Prostitution is something many are happy to promote until it becomes personal. Our previous Premier in WA really spat the dummy when asked if he would like his daughter to enter the 'Profession'. He did not mind making it easier and legal for other young girls to enter the industry.

I am somewhat surprised that prostitution is still thriving as their seems to be plenty of men and women offering sex for nothing these days in our godless society. Feminism which claims to have the best interests of woman at heart fails dismally when it comes to representing women who value their relationship with their husbands. I am convinced their is a very nasty element of feminism that hates the traditional family unit.

As many will point out we will never wipe out what is considered the 'oldest profession'. The perverted porn industry is no doubt an appetizer for many visiting prostitutes and spreading diseases among families. The Government really is to gutless to make it harder for this degradation to continue.

Dear Mrs Pierno,

I'm so sorry to hear about the breakdown of your
marriage. And the shock that you received in finding
out that your huaband has been using the services
of prostitutes. Perhaps you need to talk to a counselor
to help you deal with this? Just a suggestion...

I don't think that prostitution will ever be eradicated
in our society. I don't think it can be eliminated in a
sexually restrictive society - for it arises in response
to those very restrictions.

Men who are away from home may find a prostitute a
convenient substitute for their usual partners.
Men with unusual sexual preferences may find that
prostitutes will cater to tastes that other women
won't. An old or unattractive man may use prostitution
as the only way to enjoy sex with a young and attractive
woman.

Although I know that you feel betrayed by your husband -
it is important to remember that these services involve
no complications, obligations, or emotional entanglements.
Prostitution is simply functional in that it meeds the
man's needs for a variety of sexual outlets without
usually undermining the family system in a way that more
affectionate and involved extra-marital relationships
(such as your husband having an affair) would.

Anyway, I don't know what I would have done in your
circumstances - (probably glued his penis to the side
of his leg with super-glue, and shaved his head while
he slept - or worse - depending on my mood at the time).
You have my sympathy - and I wish you all the Best -
Stay strong - and as I said - talk to someone - which
may help you to move on.

Good Luck!

Terrible thing to happen and I'm sorry for you that it did.

Do you mind me raising a couple of points about your case in particular?. There's a coupla things I could comment on.

IF you want to keep it in general terms that's ok by me.

Thank-you for your comments runner and Foxy.

Runner - I regard myself as a feminist but I can't speak for all women who regard themselves as feminists. I value the family unit. I have three grown-up children from a previous marriage. All I can say is: I did not know this recent husband was addicted to porn and prostitutes when I married him; if I'd known, I wouldn't have spoken to him, let alone married him. He made his choices, but denied me the right to make mine.

Foxy - very funny about the super glue but in reality we aren't allowed to do things like that of course. I am a believer in the old saying: the pen is mightier than the sword. I don't smash and break, that's too easy. I don't think prostitution will ever be eradicated either, but there are still women in this world who uphold decent standards, who don't want a world awash with porn and prostitution and want young women to have the chance to live decently. I want my daughter and two sons to live in a world with decent standards. Anyway, I spoke to one of the prostitutes on the phone and she said - this is straight from the horse's mouth so to speak - the main reason men go to prostitutes is that they don't know how to please a woman in bed. That debate could go on forever. I'm just telling you what she said. Cheerio.

I have no tolerance for this sort of hooker-bashing. Your husband sought out a prostitute, not vice versa, and that prostitute isn't responsible for your feelings. If prostitutes weren't available for a sex-money transaction, your husband would have a full-blown affair, with all of the associated emotional and comittment troubles. I have no doubt that you're upset, but we don't know anything about the quality of your relationship. What was your sex life like? Are we to assume that your husband was happy and satisfied? Have you reflected on your contribution to the marriage, or are you blaming the prostitute because it's easier than dealing with the facts of a foundering relationship? And even if your marriage was strong, the simple truth is that women become less attractive with age. A man doesn't have to justify himself for not wanting sex with a woman in her fifties. If you and your husband can't communicate well enough to deal with these issues, that's not the fault of a younger woman who makes her living as a prostitute.