Hello Dear People,

Well this just goes to show how high emotions can run on this Forum.
Because all of you care so very much. Bless the lot of you - I'd like to give you all a hug...

You're doing everything you can to help - and that says a great deal.
Just relax a little, take a deep breath, and start again...

I'll keep on searching the web for anything else that I can find that may be of use as well.

Robert
This has not happend to me. It has happend to as I said a person I have been helping.

I take your comment on board re Vanilla and if that is the truth then I was wrong and owe him and yourself an apology.

In particular I was interested to hear opinions on the question I raised about the gay comunity being used as a lessor sentance by abusers for under aged boys.

I can see there would be a opening a mile wide for a gay abuser to gain a lessor sentence by pleading he was unaware the victim was underage.

Perhaps Vanilla might make comment on that question.


Have you checked with any trained people as to the effects of re hashing this.

What I mean is does it help the victim to talk about the abuse?


I paid for council for the person I was refering to and phys but do you know what Robert.

I reckon from what I saw of that person it did more "harm" than good.

Each time after appointments there would be this anger which btw was often directed at myself.

That made me think well this certainly isnt working and being more determined to MAKE the police act.

The police said they can not find any other complaints against him and there is no real evidence of a life of abuse.

There is not one but three expert opinion reports and a still living witness the GRANDMOTHER who wants to do a police report before she dies.

Its just very slack of the police but lets face it very common also as they are sretched to the limit trying to cope.

We posted on this thread=

1 Because we thought you both may have advise for this victim.

2 Thought By supporting it may help you to have more personal support to you.

Very well we got that part wrong.

Best wishes with your efforts to bring abuse of boys to attention. Its a good Cause "well over due."

Luka - Suzanne Vega / http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZyxYL753w4

My name is Luka
I live on the second floor
I live upstairs from you
Yes I think you've seen me before
If you hear something late at night
Some kind of trouble, some kind of fight
Just don't ask me what it was
Just don't ask me what it was
Just don't ask me what it was

I think it's because I'm clumsy
I try not to talk too loud
Maybe it's because I'm crazy
I try not to act too proud
They only hit until you cry
And after that you don't ask why
You just don't argue anymore
You just don't argue anymore
You just don't argue anymore

Yes I think I'm okay
I walked into the door again
Well, if you ask that's what I'll say
And it's not your business anyway
I guess I'd like to be alone
With nothing broken, nothing thrown
Just don't ask me how I am
Just don't ask me how I am
Just don't ask me how I am

And they only hit until you cry
And after that you don't ask why
You just don't argue anymore
You just don't argue anymore
You just don't argue anymore

Vanilla and R0bert, I would hate you to think I settled any differences with PALE&IF just looking after my own possible grievance. I dislike that kind of self-interest.

As has been mentioned, blind Freddy can't miss the strong feelings this subject engenders. We can only continue to rail against this, the vilest form of abuse on the planet. Abuse of ANY life form is abhorrent.

Rainer;-I never really realized the significance of that song. Now I do.

PALEIF, I assume that the same issue that you mention about support for the gay community applies to the hetrosexual community as well. Adults intefering with people at a significantly different development stage to themselves.

I struggle with the way we handle the idea of an age of consent, I don't know how workable it is but would like to see the age difference between those engaged in a sexual act taken into account unless both parties are well and truly adults. A 16 year old having a relationship with a 15 year old is a whole different situation to a 30 year old doing so. Probable not the right thread to elaborate on that.

I've not had discussions with professionals about the impacts of seeking help. I noticed some material in the reading I've done that suggests some problems associated with dealing with abuse but my overall impression is that those problems are less significant than not dealing with it. Maybe a bit like having surgery to have something fixed, the recovery from surgery may hurt, it may leave us with some permanent incapacity but generally it's better than not having the problem fixed.

I've not had enough exposure to this issue to be offering advice, it's a topic that I want to learn something about in part because I have a son. I'd hate for him to be a victim of abuse because I didn't know how to protect him. I've learned already from the material that Vanilla and Foxy found as well as what I've found following up on those links.

Good luck and best wishes for your efforts to try and help the girl you are working with.

Rainer thanks for that post.

R0bert

Foxy
Your so wise and kind seeing only the good. I hope you may influence this thread as it goes along.

I am not going to dignify (pale I dont like you )or others slurs with a reply to same level.

Its in general brings down the standard of the forum OLO and especially this thread.

WE will continue to push to get the police to act against this abuser and support the victim.

I thought it was rather rude to be honest to have ignored the request for advise for this victim and I said so.

That said we will leave you all now to get on with the topic at hand and perhaps there is another forum somewhere that this victim could join.
That is a idea that would never have occured to me until I saw Vanilla and Roberts posts.
If people are not mature enough to debate a topic without chilish personal insults theres little I can do to change that.
Sad as it may be for them mainly.

So thank You Vanilla for this thread. Great idea.