How do we halt the sexual abuse of boys?
How do we halt the sexual abuse of boys?
How do we halt the sexual abuse of boys?
How do we halt the sexual abuse of boys?

Ranier. I don't know. That's why I asked the question. The stuff you brought up about judging safe environments was really interesting. I'm sure in the case of boys there's an element of "boys can look after themselves". It cuts to the heart of what I find so frustrating about the whole thing - we need kids to talk to adults more, and yet apparently their instincts, when being abused, are to talk less.

PALE&IF: "there would be a opening a mile wide for a gay abuser to gain a lessor sentence by pleading he was unaware the victim was underage.Perhaps Vanilla might make comment."

Maybe. I haven't heard of it in the gay community but I know it certainly happens in the straight community - "she told me she was 17" etc. There's a weird case in SA right now. http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/story/0,22606,23138183-5006301,00.html

I'm sorry I can't help your friend more. All I can suggest is hassling the police. You need to find out why they won't prosecute in order to work around that. If they won't help - if they're not acting on evidence - complain to the QLD ombudsman. (Better than Minister's office - they have to act.

You are in QLD, right? Have you been in contact with the Suspected Child Abuse and Neglect team: http://www.childsafety.qld.gov.au/partners/government/scan.html

Your next option, of course, is a civil case. Has the lawyer suggested anything about that?

As for your friend, there are lots of online support groups for people who've been abused.
http://www.sssalas.com/EmotionalHealing.html
http://reachout.com.au/home.asp
http://www.sandf.org/

Also, you said that there is an eyewitness to the abuse in another country. I'm assuming you've already done this, but if not, you need to get this person to write down or record their testimony - preferably as an affidavit (i.e. signed by a JP).

Also, PALE&IF, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the president of Iran, wasn't talking about child abusers but gay people.

Ranier: "Instead, and without warning.. sychophantic admiration (peer and self) killed off this discussion..."
Apologies for my part in this.

Romany. Thanks. Heaps.

Vanilla
Thanks so much. Will pass it on. The Abuser is in NSW not QLD and this went right up to the Ministers office just prior to the elections.
It was discused with the advisor himself on several occasions with demands of action.

Both the federal and state police have it with similar phone calls.

The cop out is despite they know there is a witness still alive that someof the offences took place in another country - despite the fact it still contiuned here.

He was the step father BTW. So I went back to the Ministers office and said do you realise you have a loop hole in the law where @@@ can get away and contiune to break the laws here walking around free to reoffend.
They said No we dont. I yes YES YOU DO- I also contacted ALP Shadow Mininster - nothing.- Less helpful actually

Upon contacting a current affair etc they said no way we could be sued with no proof. Itold them there was a witness- NO

The police warned me NOT to call the unsuspecting neighbour with the kids because if it got back to the abuser he could sue for defamation.
This week papers will be filed and we will take it to court ourselves not for money just because the victim needs to see him answerable to someone even if he gets off.

Giving the statenment was very hard for the victim so its been dissapointing all round.

I dont think re hashing it with councilers helps one bit from what I have seen.
They do more harm than good IMOP
A big day our with a cricket bat would be my idea of theopy
Thanks also to Robert for his ideas.
Good by Everyone We dont feel comfortable here I am sorry.
Sorry too Vanilla if I got it wrong.
PS the thread was for boys only so apoligise but I was feeling desperate and thought someone may know far more than me.
Way out of my comfort zone- Thank Goodness

Rainier, - don't think the thread has fizzled out; there was just a bit of a misunderstanding. Personally would rather see people sorting stuff straight away than see animosity growing and disrupting things even more.

Was the self admiration comment directed at me? See, I bloody KNEW I would end up sounding like that!

What I was trying to point out was that making the community at large aware of the abuse that goes on, getting them to talk about it, de-mystify it, explain about it, try to define it, look for answers together...all of that can go a long way to helping. And the thing is that this is action that can be taken independently without waiting for Government Commissions, or new laws or media advertising campaigns. Campaigning for all of which can go on concurrently with pro-activity.

Because unless we are going to be with our kids 24/7 there is absolutely no way we can guarantee its not going to happen to them. Maybe now I sound like a "self-admiring" doom-sayer but tough t's. Thats one of the horrible truths about this subject and one which underlies a lot of peoples reluctance to talk about it: we just don't want to be reminded how helpless we actually are to prevent it.

The reasons so many abused people don't tell are myriad and varied but the message that needs to be absorbed is:
It's not your fault
It's not your fault
It's not your fault.

The community as a whole needs to be educated so that it never enters their heads that someone was "asking for it" or is "a bit of a poof at heart" or "shouldn't have got themselves into that situation in the first place" or "should have known better" or any of the other obscenely judgemental things both adults and peers say when the subject is discussed.

Raising consciousness is something we are all capable of doing.