I have several questions for those who refuse to criticise women who flirt.

1) Flirting implies that you are more interested in someone than you really are. Name any other circumstance where it is socially permissible to lie.

2) People flirt to get attention. Name any other attention seeking behaviour that is-not frowned upon.

3) Some women who flirt, get into situations that they cannot manage. Can you honestly claim that every single woman who gets raped, would have been raped if they had not flirted? If you concede that her behaviour contributed to one more rape occurring, then it shouldbe alright to say so.

4) At the moment, society is happy to criticise rapists. Any discussion of any other cause of rape is labelled ‘blaming the victim’. Name any other problem that we attempt to solve by ignoring several of the contributing factors.

5) According to the 'blaming the victim' model, any rape must be either entirely his fault or entirely her fault. We are told that any criticism of her necessarily implies that his behaviour is acceptable and everything is her fault. What is so hard to understand about more complex moral reasoning?

When rape occurs it is always entirely the man's fault.

If someone is walking late at night it is tempting for a thug to mug him, and it can be argued that the man is partially responsible for putting himself in the position, but it does not reduce the responsibility of the mugger simply because he was tempted.

A decision is made to break the law, and irrespective of the actions of the woman, the man knows that rape is rape, and goes ahead anyway. It could not happen without his taking direct action.

I agree with the zero tolerance approach. If young thugs know that if they are convicted of rape, then they will always be severely punished, then at the decision point they may pull back.

The flirtatious action of the woman in this instance is completely irrelevant. Young women need to learn to judge situations, but this is easier said than done.

How extraordinary. One article and forty two comments - and not once are the most important issues identified, let alone discussed. It is clear there is a book to be written here, and I don't have time at the moment ! I'll see what I can do, in due course

Antiseptic,
It is very responsible of you to warn your daughter of the dangers of teasing and leading young men on. Flirting can be fun, but knowing when to call a halt is something to be learned with experience, best to err on the side of caution.

Not only can young males get the wrong message but girls also get strong sexual feelings and have raging hormones. Although girls generally take longer to get aroused, sometimes sexual feelings can get out of control and she may end up active in sex that she never intended in the first instance.

Girls need to be told there is some responsibility on their part. Its a bit too late to cry rape after allowing petting when both parties getting easily carried away.

Sometimes the words "Don't, stop" can change from a request to halt, to a request NOT to stop.

I am not sure of the statistics, but I believe a significant number of rapes occur where the perpetrator and victim are not known to each other.
Many rapists just look for any woman who is alone at home or in a park etc and rape her. Where is the flirting here?

Obviously flirting is not involved in a significant number of rapes, so where is the reasoning that it is a factor?

The act of rape is violence and aggression towards a physically weaker person, by an emotionally sick criminal. This can include men as victims as well.

Many, many women flirt with men in our society, but yet most are never raped in their lifetime. How so? Because most men are not violent and can control themselves.
Any man who believes otherwise must have some control issues themselves.

"1) Flirting implies that you are more interested in someone than you really are. Name any other circumstance where it is socially permissible to lie." benk

I can't agree with this. Many people in long term relationships who love one another flirt with each other. Many people who are genuinely interested in someone flirt with that person in order to communicate a certain level of interest. Flirting can be a very enjoyable way of interacting, to call it 'lieing' is simplistic and reductive.

It's important though that people understand that while flirting may (or may not) indicate an expression of interest, this does not equate with being an expression of sexual availability. Winking at someone does not mean you're happy for them to put their penis inside you. Nor for that matter should a man feel pressured to commit to a sexual act he does not want to partake in, simply for flirting with a woman