Scout,
Can I start by saying you are a very well adjusted lady, and to me have the correct attitude to the subject.

No man should ever belt his wife/girlfriend, they are cowards, and usually shy away from confrontation with other men. In my home although I don't contribute as much as I would like to, I have assigned household jobs, which I am responsible for getting done, I think that is only fair, equal sufferage is the key to these things.

Women who are faced with the situation of your ex-husband should leave immediately, and find a good lawyer to get the most possible in monetry terms. Sorry, back to sex, at atmosphere conducive to love making must exist for both partners to get the most from the experience, if one partner is exhausted while the other is rested, this is impossible.

True love means sharing more than lovemaking, it means sharing responsibilities, and household work, and enjoying doing so, if one partner exploits the other making love reverts back to sex for the exploited partner, and shows little consideration on behalf of the exploiter. On the positive side, there is always someone out there who will really love you for who you are, even if it takes a few years to find them, as was my experience, when I met my second wife.

If you are on your own at the moment please don't become bitter, when you least expect it, you will meet someone, and the first time you make love with them will stay with you, for the rest of your life.

I agree with the last 2 posts.

Thank you Shonga & Jeshua.

I expected a diatribe instead I received support - now I feel very happy indeed ;-)

I am currently single and not in a hurry to change that status - yes I would love to love. Fortunately though, I have reached a level of maturity where I am able to stand independently without feeling as if I am failure for not having a partner. There is happiness in my autonomy.

If someone does enter my life - that would be a bonus, but my happiness isn't dependent on having a significant other.

Currently I am more concerned about meeting my mortgage payments - unemployment definitely depletes the happiness quotient.

Cheers

I see mutual compatibility as being the most important aspect of a successful partnership.

Similar attitudes to health, politics, religion/spirituality, family, finance and social responsibility. Interests which can be shared, rather than having mainly separate interests which take you away from one another. And similar avertions too. I could not, for instance, share my life with a smoker, heavy drinker, regular gambler or [to my mind] religious extremist.

If one partner is naturally highly sexed and the other not, then that will inevitably lead to dissention. If one expects sexual monogamy whilst the other wants to sleep around, then that would be a recipe for disaster.

At 21 I met my first wife at a dance. She was extremely attractive, I have a romantic turn of mind and felt that I'd met my "one and only". But what do we typically base our feelings on when we are young? "Wow, I like the look of THAT one!" We wouldn't get a dog or buy a car on that basis would we? No, we'd check out the characteristics and specifications.

After we [inevitably] parted, I was on my own for a while, but had a number of girlfriends. After my first marriage, I'd learned a few things and was still learning. Then I met a lady at a dance who swept me off my feet [but I remained logical this time as well]. We were together for over 22 years, but I sadly lost Kathy nearly 4 years ago to cancer [with her lifestyle, she did nothing to deserve it].

I like having a loving partner and have been close to Emiko for over two years. She is also a dancer and a very good one too.

Yes, sex is important, perhaps for most of us extremely so. And for me, one lady at a time is definitely enough. But there are many other things which need to be taken into account as well.

But I am well aware that my attitude of mainly shared interests and mainly shared time would be stifling to some people. We're all different, aren't we?

Rex

Yes "we're all different".

I'm not.

I agree that there's far more than sex in choosing a partner (sorry I meant WIFE - I don't wish to offend any of OLO's religious sufferers).

I'd go eeven further on the "looks" issue though.

I've found (when I've been on the prowl) that I instantly distrust woman who are very good looking - they walk. I'm not talking about the "naturals" but woman who are overly made up and dressed just so, at great expense.

They're a high risk proposition to the experienced male unless he's after a short term fling.

I think many woman might feel the same about very good looking men.

I hope this Hot Looks Are Risky theory is heeded by pre-first-maritals.

There are indications that many ant-depressants cause a lack of libido. I would contend that this is actually why they work:

The logic goes this way:

Often a person is depressed because of lack of satisfying physical contact with another human being, but that person still has a libido that wants sex:

In essence, lack of sex leaves them sad and depressed.

Anti-depressants cause a lowering of libido:

The person doesn't want to have sex as often.

So they don't feel as sad and depressed at not having sex.

Therefore they feel less depressed overall.

Meanwhile, it should be remembered that men trade affection for sex, and women trade sex for affection.

As for married people having more sex - the bean jar principle should be remembered: that if a couple place a bean in a jar every time they have sex during courtship and the first year of marriage, and take a bean out every time they have sex after that first year - well - the jar will never be empty.

Lastly, the reasns why condoms come in packs of twelve is well established from when they were a prime contraceptual resource in marriage:

Twelve:

January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, Novemember, December.