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The Forum > Article Comments > Letís talk about happiness ... and sex > Comments

Letís talk about happiness ... and sex : Comments

By James McConvill, published 3/1/2006

James McConvill ponders on emerging happiness studies and possible interpretations

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(8 or 9 times a week)

Well although sex is more than important to my partner and I, this article is just a little flirtatious. James is not treating the sexual craft seriously enough.

- legislative amendments to sex between, consenting (and non paying) adults are unnecessary. James puts up a re-legislative possibility as quickly as he shoots it down.

- a Kinsey like study of sex in Australia by a parliamentary committee presents the specter of already pissed pollies and polliesses getting off watching flicks of their constituents getting off. No. There's plenty of sexually improving literature about without the need for psycho-sociologists getting involved, who then highlight particular (and marginal) statistical findings.

James has a point about about heat in the bedroom. My partner (she's a she) and I find its almost too hot at the moment (even counting the aircon and large fan in the bedroom) so taking it slow - with a break between each of her orgasms - seems to be the best way to avoid pools of sweat.

James' reference to many positions is a bit of a throw away. As you get older overly acrobatic posi's become more of a backstrain. Don't know about you bloggers but "missionary" presents the best opportunity to pace yourself, angle her hips, keep eye contact and chat. Throw in one or two other posi's and I've probably gone beyond what is socially "polite" to say on the web.
Posted by plantagenet, Tuesday, 3 January 2006 11:12:07 AM
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Sex is a normal human function, monogomy is not practised by the majority of the world's population, so it seems perfectly acceptable for committed marriage partners who love each other to have sex outside of the marriage if they want/need to.
The USA is a christian country, however mistresses are common, China is a communist country and mistresses are common. Most of South East Asia have relationships outside marriage, and Africa didn't achieve the highest AIDS infection rate in the world because it practises monogomy.
Let's face it a great deal of the world's population enjoys extra marital affairs, why not remove the stigma from such activity. I personnally do not require any outside stimulis, however many people do it seems, if a couple have a loving relationship surely they can communicate their desires to their partners in this day and age.
If one or both partners need something extra in a psycical sense, provided they love each other, and are committed to each other, an open marriage should be possible in the 21st century
Posted by SHONGA, Tuesday, 3 January 2006 2:10:39 PM
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Yes let's talk about this organism called "Happiness and sex".
The trouble is some women read the Bible during the ritualist organism as a way to increasing the population.
That is what sex is for, so women can have a baby to make them happy.
But then some get post-natal depression. How do we fix that?
Maybe they can have another good read.
Posted by GlenWriter, Tuesday, 3 January 2006 2:28:07 PM
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Under the new anti-terrorism laws it should be easy for the government to do a considerable amount of research on what happens in the bedrooms.
I wonder if they will consider using any of the data to increase our level of happiness.
Posted by Peace, Tuesday, 3 January 2006 2:59:23 PM
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1) Just become something is popular doesn't mean it is suddenly "moral". Racism was popular in America's South a generation ago, millions did it, so surely the stigma of it should have gone, right?

2) If somebody is at such a high level of happiness/trust with their spouse, why would such a person need extra-marital sex? Surely it can only be a purely physiological process, because if its anything more, its likely to mess up a marriage. (Husband suddenly decides he "loves" his latest shag more than his wife, jealousy issues, etc.) Also, even if the couple's marriage is "strong", what about the other party in the sexual encounter? Whose to say it won't be psychologically disturbing (i.e. the person could fall in love with one of the spouses) for him/her?

3) What if the couple's marriage is not strong, and for example the husband tries to coerce the uninterested wife into expanding the marriage against her wishes (possibly using force, we already have many abused women).

4) Whose kids are so well-adjusted they don't care who mummy is sleeping with tonight? Please don't tell me they won't find out, kids are not as naive as you think. Also, if extra-marital sex has even a chance of diminishing the strength of a marriage (see 2 and 3), if only for the sake of the children, it is immoral.

Under the best of circumstances, opening marriages up like this is risky, but under the worst, they are terrible.
Posted by YngNLuvnIt, Tuesday, 3 January 2006 4:04:21 PM
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When I was just 13 years old my mother put me on the contraceptive pill, to help with my bad skin. Not long after, I developed sever depression, and mood swings. I struggled with depression and low sex drive for years before I went to see a doctor about it. He put me on Zoloft, which stopped me from feeling down every day, rather emotionless, but I still suffered from mood swings, and a low sex drive. I went from feeling normal, to crying for no reason. By this time I was well into my twenties.
When I broke up with my long term Boyfriend in 2001, I decided to quit Zoloft, and the pill. I finally felt happy again, my mood swings had gone and my sex drive had returned. A year later I found my current boyfriend and decided to go back on the pill. My depression and mood swings came back! I couldnít understand it, I should be happy but instead I would break into tears for no reason. My hormones were going mad.
Finally I read my pill packet, and there it was in black and white (may cause depression and mood swings). I went to my doctor and explained what was happening, so he put me on a lower dose pill, but it made no difference. Finally after trying many different contraceptive pills, with no success, I decided to quit the pill all together. That was two years ago, and I have been happy ever since. My boyfriend and I are careful and I have not fallen pregnant.
I have talked with a lot of girls about this, and it seems to be quite a common problem.
I WANT TO KNOW WHY YOUNG GIRLS ARE NOT WARNED ABOUT THIS SERIOUS SIDE EFFECT OF THE CONTRACEPTIVE PILL?
I canít help but feel I spent my youth in misery, all because of a hormonal imbalance I am angry at my doctor, for putting me onto unnecessary medication, and for not diagnosing my depression for what it really was THE PILL!
Posted by Celene, Tuesday, 3 January 2006 6:06:00 PM
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