Alchemist

I knew you had it in ya mate. Shame about the wheelchair, but.

Yes I agree that affairs (bed hopping) are a momentary thrill. Its inhumane for a person in a relationship to sleep around.

I'd say for females, and even males, there is an element of feeling (even affection) in interfaces on timeshare basis. If there is no feeling then the person is either in denial or he/she has a serious bundle of "issues" that need to be resolved.

In contrast to what the article's author says I contend that banging around (like drinking alone too much) usually makes a person feel more unhappy than when they started.

SHONGA like Alchemist

I'm heartened to see "youse" also don't have the (typically country Queensland) distrust/fear of sex.

Sex between adults in a steady relationship is a whole different matter. Its a superb way to communicate, spend time together and exercise. When many other men in their 40s indulge in fishing/golf/TAB/pub drinking/pokies all away from their partner, you can guess where I am :)

Plantagenet,
I guess you are a woman, correct? I find sex a very inadequate word to describe the interaction my wife and I have, I mean 2 dogs on a street corner can have sex. I do not like using Arericanisms however I describe our experience as "making love" because of the communication we both feel, and the satisfaction we both achieve, as we try very hard to please each other in every way, which maybe is why I don't look outside the marriage, as I know many do.

I agree with a previous poster that emotion is involved with most of us, but not all, I have met people to whom sex is merely a psyical act. And have also met people in wife swapping clubs, whose original marriage/relationship breaks down because of it, so please don't misunderstand me, I am not an advocate for extra marital affairs, I merely acknowledge that they exist in greater numbers than the ordinary person is willing to recognise.

True love and making love go hand in hand, some of us have been very lucky to find true love on more than one occasion, some have not been so fortunate. In my humble opinion, if you are one of the luck ones, make the most of it...although a threesome five times a day is by my standards a little excessive [jealous]

Five times a day is 1825 a year. Nahhhhhhhh paralysis would set in not to mention the boredom.

I've just found the love of my life. She's broad beamed, 45 foot and in need of some attention. She also has auto pilot so I guess I hope to get lucky again sometime. Just shows hope does spring eternal.

The best sex I can recall was the night of my wedding and the later conception of my children. After my divorce and in my forties I had three affairs. On a power scale those affairs would be regarded as nuclear. Most of us from all those times have retained a fairly warm friendship and affection.
I guess that about sums it all up for me.

Since my dad had girlfriends well into his seventies, I guess it's still quite possible for me too. Only trouble is I think once you've tasted real passion and love anything less becomes pretty mundane.

SHONGA

Well what can I say. My first post at the top of this string indicated that my partner is a "she".

Yes I've toyed with the idea of becoming a lesbian. But no - there are some physiological realities working against this. I'm 6 feet and 100 kgs - do you think that would be a good look on a woman? So (looking down) I suppose that makes me a bloke.

Throw in an extended study (and some experience) of the intelligence trade, military organisation and weaponry and you get some male thought patterns creeping in as well.

But I must admit that I prefer the company of woman as friends. This helps me be better lover because it gives me a far better insight into what woman want - to use a very hackneyed phrase.

Call me a traitor but I find most men too inarticulate about little and big things - so woman it is.

Anyway, my male side allows me to "nail" my woman with considerable force (and she loves it) and my intricate study of female thinking (and anatomy) allows me to caress her leisurely like a good lesbian lover (and she doesn't mind that either).

Here endeth my simplistic yet indulgent observations.

PS (A little Advert) For more particulars on the spying game see my site "Spying Bad Things" at http://spyingbadthings.blogspot.com

I found the article quite confusing. Sex is not defined other then
physical coitus. My definition of sex involves the physical, emotional and
spiritual aspects. In that context I think the best sex is within a committed relationship and this is most found in a mariage relationship. Happiness needs also to be defined. My understanding is that there is a lot of evidence supporting better health outcomes in married couples then in any other relationship. I would think that sex is included in this. I think in a permissive society anything goes but happiness is not a durable variable as it is usually associated with a good happening.
Lets not degrade the sexual union by watering it down to a physical act. Lets upgrade it as an act that is the most sacred and intimate union between husband and wife. Sexual unions outside this relationship is the cause for a lot ills and not happiness.

Jeshua

I find it interesting that so many male posters (author included) think that to be happy more sex would help.

As a woman, my experience has shown that if I am happy I am more likely to want to have sex than if I'm miserable.

My ex-husband would come home from work, sit down in front of the TV and relax. I would come home from work, prepare dinner, clean, wash dishes and fall asleep in front of the TV. We would then go to bed and surprise - he who had done nothing all evening would want sex - I wanted sleep. This attitude applied when we argued - he would yell and beat me up and then want what he called 'make-up' sex - not a turn-on I assure you.

I know that if I am treated well and respectfully I feel happier and then will want to have sex (make love) with my partner.

That's relationship sex - mutual love and respect makes for good sex which increases happiness.

Casual sex is different - when single I have picked up someone I've fancied, had a good time and that was that - like scratching an itch; fleeting happiness.

The bottom line is - if I have a secure roof over my head, clothes on my back and food on the table, then I can consider sex. I don't need sex to make me happy, I see it more as icing on the cake. The basic human essentials need to be taken care of first.