Some people on here seem to think that I give a damn whether they believe me or not? Fact is, my self esteem is not that low that it bothers me any more. I know what my truth is, and I know what the statistics clearly show - that overwhelmingly, around the world, the abuse of women by their intimate partner is much higher than the opposite. Insulting me only reinforces my reality. the more men reject my reality; call me a liar, or engage in the sort of language my ex used only adds to my unshaken belief, that men are the perpetrators of most instances of violence(all violence). Rejecting this fact doesn't change it!

For every article put forward against this view, there's probably hundreds if not thousands that insist on the reality, that the abuse of women and kids by men far outweighs the opposite!

so, keep on keeping on with your hateful vitriole, but it won't change a thing! Tell lies and show your personal hatreds, but that won't change reality either. If you weren't so misogynist in your views, you'd probably gain more sympathy and support, but calling me names, and others like me just negates me and others in my position from taking up your cause. That's why you've put yourselves in a difficult position - you put off the very people who'd support you!

What you blokes have done is condone the violence done to me, because you're hateful and just as bad as my ex. Despicable!

1/3 Congratulations Liz for completely proving my point.

Let's break down your post bit by bit shall we.

"@bowspearer - As a man whose stronger than almost any woman, unless she towers above you and weighs a lot more, I find your stand rather concerting. My two eldest boys when they were about 9 and 10 could pick me up chair and all? I question your bonafides? I also question the fact that you are a genuine victim of rape? Only you know that. You'd have more chance of being treated with any sort of empathy, sympathy or respect, if you didn't lighten the experience of others who were abused, particularly women!"

Right so where have I heard such sexist and depraved garbage before- oh yes from radical islamic clerics and chauvanists who claim that it can't be rape. As the mother of 2 boys with your blatant sexism and misandry, I genuinely fear for their psychological well-being.

"How do I know that your comments aren't mischievously a lie? I do not condone sexual abuse of anyone, regardless of sex, particularly if they're young, but what you do in your tirade is ignore reality - that is, that around the world, perpetrators of sexual and physical violence are overwhelmingly men. If you disagree with this, prove it!"

And yet here you are accusing me of lying about my abuse- not only have you condoned abuse against men as your response proves, but you have actively contributed to the perpetuation of social attitudes which foster said abuse. In short you are a domestic and child abuse enabler! Your own words prove as much.

(To be continued)

2/3 (continued)
As for said studies, you mean like the 250 peer reviewed studies with a sampling size of over 115,000 which found abuse to be 50/50? Or maybe you mean the CDC longitudinal study done back in 2002, which found that amongst 18-28 year olds, that 70.3% of non-reciprocal IPV was perpetuated by women against men? That's not even going into recent crime figures in Australia which clearly point to a radical increase in reported female on male IPV contrasted by a radical decrease in reported male on female IPV.

"WRD is a day set aside by the UN to fight against the abuse of women around the world. Why anyone, man or woman would be against this begs belief. If men want to publicise what happens to them, do what women have been doing for centuries - get off your bums and start!Women started all the now govt funded organisations such as rape crisis centres, women's refuge centres and women's health centres because women like me got together and first of all worked tirelessly as volunteers, at the same time as putting in submissions for funding.
Men did zilch! Too lazy, and now that there's focus of woman who are abused, they start whinging! Get off your bums and do something!"

It's not raising awareness of violence against women which battered men such as myself have an issue with- it's the pissing contest it turns into where the myth of men only being abusers and only women are victims- where those of us who are abuse survivors have to endure the pure filth which would send women on the receiving end of it into a violent rage if the roles were reversed. WRD goes beyond a simple violence on females focus (let’s ignore it’s complete dismissal of violence in lesbian relationships for the moment), to crossing this very ugly and vile line. As a men’s advocacy group recently pointed out- the statistics on violence against women in and of themselves speak volumes.

(to be continued)

3/3 (continued)
There is no need to diminish the plight of battered men like myself to try and achieve a reduction in violence against women. Furthermore, as your own response toward me taking the brave step of disclosing my own abuse goes, I have no doubt of just what some of your “work” consisted of- namely playing on traditional male stereotypes and verbalizing and invalidating male victims into silence when you encountered them.

One last thing. I have no doubt of the legitimacy of what you endured Liz. However I also have no doubt of one other fact- people who are abused have two choices; either rise above their abuse, or become their abusers.

It is blatantly clear from the attitudes that you have displayed here that you have chosen the later- out of a sexist sense of hatred and bitterness. While I can understand how such a hatred came about, there is no excuse your indiscriminate usage of it as opposed to rising above it. The fact that you yourself have endured the horrors you have should make you acutely aware of how hellish they are for anyone to endure, regardless of gender.

If a woman came up to me saying they’d been abused, I would be nothing but validating of their experiences, just as I have of yours (which does not mean blindly letting bad behaviour slide).

However that’s the difference between you and I- as your own posts have proven; where I actually care about validating and ending the abuse of all people regardless of their race, creed, age or gender; you clearly only care about misandrist revenge.

Feel free to be prove me wrong and be accountable for your own vile actions here.

@bowspear -If you've bothered to read my earlier posts, which I doubt, you'll not find anywhere where I've condoned the abuse of men - by anyone, male or female. You'd also find, that Antispectic,RObert and others have used vile language and virtually accused me of deserving what happened to me, as early as 12 yrs of age!

You were abused as an adult, I was first abused as a child - a most revealing fact. However, what many people have chosen to do is to imply that I'm almost a 'professional victim'? A accusation that is vile. What sort of a man condones the sexual abuse of girls by adult males? The 2nd assault on me was by a professional person, a radiologist on the pretext of showing me where to put my arms prior to a MANDATORY chest x-ray, ordered by my then employer in order to gain permanent status. I was 16. These so called men used the abuses of adult men, one was old enough to be my father and then some! They were cowardly and depraved men who have no right to be protected by anyone - male or female! To abuse, lighten the impact is to condone the actions of these men. I did not deserve to be bashed by anyone, let alone a man who stood beside me in front of an altar and promised the opposite - I never instigated any forms of violence towards him, in fact, I rarely tried to defend myself, as I learnt very early, that to do so only meant a harder 'whack around my head'? Sometimes I couldn't sleep on that side for days! sometimes I suffered concussion!

I repudiate any suggestion, that by being frank I'm being hateful or bitter! After all, if the person who'd bashed me was a stranger on the street, I wouldn't be the butt of such hateful vitriol by some men, who in my opinion, are no better than the mongrels who abused me!

1/3 Liz,
Stop. With. The pissing contest!

To begin with- you claim you've never condoned the abuse of men and boys, yet when I bravely took the step of being candid, you accused my stating my abuse as "a mischievous lie" and claimed it was impossible for me to be raped. By doing so, you were guilty of displaying child abuse and DV enabling attitudes- pure and simple.

What you did to me is no better than what the mothers of the Lebanese gang rapists did a few years back to their sons' victims. You did it to me, be honest and be accountable for your actions towards me.

Furthermore, I never said I wasn't abused as a child. In fact I was heavily psychologically abused almost entirely by female family members from the age of 6 to the age of 29 where whether I was bullied, voiced an opinion, shared a dream, was badly injured or made any kind of gesture that I even existed, I was cut down with nasty remarks and/or howled down.

It was so severe that when I dislocated my foot after being rolled on by an adult in a soccer game by accident, I was told to sit there and shut up. At the age of 29 when I confronted them about it, most of them turned on me and we're not longer speaking- not to mention the fact that they pushed me the closest to suicide I've ever gotten.

My family not only drove me to the point of suicide (which would have happened before now had it not been for some miraculous part of me which always blocked me right at the point of action) but to silence in other matters. (to be continued)