Jewely,

Male.

You're not a friend of Ronnie Peters, by any chance?

Cornflower,

It's not easy. I was only able to start working again on a regular basis once I had done enough work to be able to function enough to keep a job. I spent a lot of time on the dole, wondering why I was always so angry. It was quite debilitating. I was aware that what had happened to me was unfair, I called it bullying, but I spent a lot of time thinking I was alone. But then one night watching "John Safran vs God" I got lucky. He was interviewing Michael Savage, who mentioned a few statistics I had never heard before, and in fact contradicted everything I had ever been told about domestic violence, and it all just went from there.

So in terms of advice;

First of all, you need a little bit of luck, as I had. For this reason it's important that people keep banging on the same message, wherever they can, because I never heard anything about this from a mainstream source.

Secondly, it's ok to accept that what happened to you was bad and it constitutes domestic violence.

Importantly, talk to your friends and your family. Mine were shocked when I told them everything that had happened. It also helped heal my relationships with my family, and it meaned that I got my support network back. Noone ever told me, to my face, that they didn't believe me, or that I was actually the abuser or any of that nonsense. (If they do, tell them to go jump.) When you tell people your story, they listen.

TBC

Psychological counselling is extremely important. I was lucky enough to be able to get 3 batches of 6 sessions with 3 different counsellors, all for free- the first was through university. Most tertiary institutions provide mental health care as part of a free service. The second was through Centrelink- you're allowed 6 free sessions with a psychologist. The third was through Medicare- again you're allowed a number of free sessions with a psychologist if you get a referral from a GP. I cannot tell you how invaluable they were. I probably need to do some more at some stage but I'll chase that up when I have time and money.

Interestingly though, I didn't find anything that was provided specifically for male victims of domestic violence. I just went to the shrinks and told them my story.

Also, there are support networks on the internet, where you don't have to worry about arguing with people who have a different viewpoint, and you don't have to worry that you're hijacking the debate. I was put on to BatteredHusbandsSupport by one of the guys on this forum. Can't remember who, but thanks heaps.

dozer,

Thanks you for your explanation. It is a subject that is often mentioned on OLO, but I don't think I have ever seen any real discussion of it.

From reason alone there would be similar numbers of men and women as persecutors and victims.

You have done well though and good for you.

I googled Ronnie Peters but couldn’t work out which one you might mean Dozer.

Now I am off to begin pre cooking and organizing Christmas. Maternal gatekeeping I’m not sure but I like being the one that sorts it all out for the big day. I will get up hours before everyone else tomorrow morning and sit staring at the tree and the presents and remember other mornings when I did exactly the same thing.

We seem to know a few young men with nowhere to be tomorrow that are coming to ours. I wonder why it is always young fellas who either don’t have a family of their own to be with or don’t want to be with them… never had a young female without a home at Xmas.

Jewely try http://forum.onlineopinion.com.au/user.asp?id=4553

Not sure but I think that Ronnie might have been tied up with Wendy's organisation.

Have a great Christmas day all.

R0bert

Never mind. Its just i questioned Ronnie Peters' gender in one of my epic battles with him a few years ago. Thanks Cornflower, and merry christmas all.