I'll add my Christmas wished to all. I'll be doing very little other than watching the rain washing the sawdust away.

dozer, nice to see you back. I believe you left just as I joined OLO. I'm glad to hear things are going well for you.

I tried the psychologist business and found it very unsatisfying and unhelpful. That may have been because I was suffering a fairly straightforward situational/reactive depression, but I suspect it also has to do with my own nature. My sense was that the psychologist was not especially interested in my situation and was simply platitudinising in response to my questions. In two sessions I didn't receive a single piece of useful advice.

It's good to know that isn't always the case.

Hi antiseptic. Sorry to hear it didn't work so well. From what i've seen with psychological counselling results can often be mixed. It worked very well for me and was very efficient. Others i know have gone through therapy for years and found it effective but still need more. Others have just gone downhill regardless. You have to be ready for it, and you have to be ready to do most of the work yourself- see the psychologist as a guide- I was able to see a lot of the connections between things that had happened and why i had a certain reaction. The therapist also needs to be switched on and have some empathy. The biggest thing for me was to realise that although many things had been done to me that were unfair, ultimately it was me having to take responsibility for my own life and thought patterns if i were to ever get out of the rut i was in. All the best.

dozer:"The biggest thing for me was to realise that although many things had been done to me that were unfair, ultimately it was me having to take responsibility for my own life and thought patterns if i were to ever get out of the rut i was in"

Now that I agree with 100%. Cognitive awareness of behaviours and conscientious modification of behaviour patterns can be very useful indeed. I must credit the psychologist with pointing out that while I may have a right to be depressed under the circunstances, remaining depressed wasn't going to solve the problem. A lot of personal reading later I worked it out, at least to my own satisfaction. Part of that satisfaction is that I never used the drugs that the medical profession tried to push on me when I turned up saying "I feel depressed".

I also found it very cathartic to "take on" the system that is so unfair, instead of allowing myself to be pushed from pillar to post willy-nilly. My nature is such that I find "turning the other cheek" very difficult, so "keeping the bastards honest" has been very satisfying, especially since it means that some others may not have to go through similar things.

On a side note, though, I have a very good friend who is quite badly bipolar, and he won't under any circumstances try CBT, because he's scared of losing the high of the "ups" even though he's frequently suicidal during the "downs". His impulse control is almost non-existent at the best of times, so this is a big problem for him. He won't take meds either, for the same reason. I expect he'll top himself one day.

1/2 As a 31 year old man who has been the victim of 23 years of what started out as severe child psychological abuse at the hands of predominantly female family members as well as several abusive relationships where in one case I was raped multiple times by the woman I was with; I find myself having little sympathy for Liz45.

What she went through was abhorrent, however her sickening and minimising hypocrisy is completely inexcusible. While she claims one minute that she does not support the abuse of men by women, she almost immediately afterwards, completely diminishes it.

I honestly find it nothing short of vile as I would never invalidate her abuse in such a general manner. Her abuse does not give her the right to treat the abuse of anyone else like an urban myth or trivialise it in any other way shape or form- no matter how much it might fly in the face of the dynamics of the abuse she endured.

I have heard several claims by people about the frequency of reporting, and I apologise for the slur I need to refer to here, however it is necessary to bluntly make this point.

We live in a society where an underage boy is the victim of child sexual abuse and the media class it as assault. Men who speak out about their abuse have it trivialised, jovialised or are lambasted for it by rabid feminists. According to society (including police in general), a man is a joke if he "got beaten up by his woman", "got lucky" if he is raped by a woman and "is in the closet" if homosexually raped".

Let me put it in very visceral and blunt terms. How many women would come forward about being raped if even the police called them "filthy whores"- or told that the only way to stop rape was for women to make sure other women out their keep their legs crossed? Next to none I'd wager, and understandbily so!
(to be continued)

2/2 (continued) This is the very scenario which men face and in its current form (which numerous studies into abuse against men have pointed to rather universally). In this regard, WRD is no better in its treatment towards abused men and boys, than those in the above example would be hypothetically towards a raped woman.

I have no problem with the concept of a day which draws attention to the true nature of domestic violence and which encourages people to take a stand against it. However in its current form, WRD is as much about the enabling of spousal abuse and child abuse in all their forms on gender lines due to the stereotypes it perpetuates; as it is about ending violence against women.

As a battered man and child abuse survivor almost entirely at the hands of women, I think I'm more than entitled to have a significant problem with WRD in its current form.

@bowspearer - As a man whose stronger than almost any woman, unless she towers above you and weighs a lot more, I find your stand rather concerting. My two eldest boys when they were about 9 and 10 could pick me up chair and all? I question your bonafides? I also question the fact that you are a genuine victim of rape? Only you know that. You'd have more chance of being treated with any sort of empathy, sympathy or respect, if you didn't lighten the experience of others who were abused, particularly women!

How do I know that your comments aren't mischievously a lie? I do not condone sexual abuse of anyone, regardless of sex, particularly if they're young, but what you do in your tirade is ignore reality - that is, that around the world, perpetrators of sexual and physical violence are overwhelmingly men. If you disagree with this, prove it!

WRD is a day set aside by the UN to fight against the abuse of women around the world. Why anyone, man or woman would be against this begs belief. If men want to publicise what happens to them, do what women have been doing for centuries - get off your bums and start!Women started all the now govt funded organisations such as rape crisis centres, women's refuge centres and women's health centres because women like me got together and first of all worked tirelessly as volunteers, at the same time as putting in submissions for funding.
Men did zilch! Too lazy, and now that there's focus of woman who are abused, they start whinging! Get off your bums and do something!

Go to Message Stick(ABC)and watch today's repeated program!