"Ask yourself how you'd feel, if a bloke much bigger and stronger than you was whacking you, demeaning and embarrassing you in front of your friends etc, and you lived in fear each day. It's called empathy! Have a shot at it!"

Or you could ask yourself how it feels for a bloke having a woman smaller and not as strong being able to hit with impunity safe in the knowledge that the you can't hit back. A woman much stronger with the hurtful words and determined to use you to get the life she wants regardless of what it costs you. Ask yourself what it feels like when you seek assistance for abuse to be told that it does not matter, she's upset with you and you probably deserve it. It's called empathy! Have a shot at it!

I've been pondering what form you think empathy should take. I've never dismissed the hurt of women who have been abused, but you have shown utter contempt for men wanting a change in the way DV is discussed in the public space.

There has been no sign of any empathy from you for male victims of DV in all it's forms. Instead of listening and trying to understand our viewpoint you focus on your own story and that of other women as though that invalidates men's experience of abuse.

I'm guessing that you have made no attempt at any honest evaluation of the material on DV where men are on the receiving end - the piece that James referenced a couple of days ago is a great starting place.

I've taken the time and labored through numerous DV reports which start with the usual statement of faith blaming men. I've read the criticisms of CTS (and the rebuttal). I've read Floods work and tried to understand what he is trying to do.

In any part of this have you ever tried to understand what the experience of having an abuse spouse is like for a man?

R0bert

@Antiseptic@RObert@benk - Let's get one thing clear - again! I have NEVER asserted anywhere that women are entitled to commit crimes of violence, I have however stated,that any person is entitled to defend themselves from harm.
I have NOT said that men are not victims of DV.What I did say,was that the overwhelming number of victims are women - between 85-90%
This is backed up in many countries including Australia and also the UN.
I HAVE said,that men are more likely to commit crimes of violence than women - only a fool would disagree with this. In the last 10 or so days,there's been many violent crimes of robbery both private homes and service stations etc - about 15 males involved - no females. This is not an isolated scenario. There's an ingrained culture of violence in this country, every country, which also includes the use of rape as a weapon of wars - horrific! There's the sex and/or slave trade, the sexual abuse of children in Asian countries etc, all perps are male. I don't hate men, I just hate what too many of them do! I also get angry when people defend them - in this case, three blokes! Says it all really!
IN the last 15 days, two women could have been murdered, as the police stats show.
I have been sexually abused as a child; molested as a young teenager by a radiographer(on the pretence of showing me where to put my arms for a chest x-ray)who groped my breasts, and then 20 yrs of abuse by my ex-he knew about these instances, which is how these bastards operate - they learn your 'weak' points etc. Quite a clever MO.

Liz45:"What I did say,was that the overwhelming number of victims are women - between 85-90%"

And you're still just as wrong about that as ever.

Still no "inclination" to check your facts, eh?

As for the man who's being abused by his wife - I support him 100% and would actively support him if he was a friend of mine. I would make sure that the police paid attention,if that is what he wanted. I'd also support him re counselling etc.

As for making snide comments about WRD - do you feel the same way about the MEN in Canada who started it? I have posters on my wall, where high profile, intelligent Australian men speak out against violence towards women. Just because I support WRD doesn't automatically mean that I condone violence towards men, I do NOT!

I suggest you read the front page story in yesterdays, Illawarra Mercury about a young woman who was bashed in the face, then stabbed 6 times by her drug raging boyfriend - he got 200 hours community service - he'd probably have got a tougher sentence for assaulting a male stranger? This is the type of 'justice' women have had to put up with for decades at least! What sort of message does that send to abusive men?

A recent article in the SMH showed,that many men are being denied leaving Australia as they hadn't lived up to their responsibilities re child support - 90% of those parents re unpaid support are men.
There is a very big problem in our society re the way men are raised. There's too much emphasis on so-called strengths and powers,and not enough about caring and nurturing, not just of women, but each other and their kids. I never condoned my boys fighting - I told them that any fool can use his fists, but it takes a smart and intelligent man to use his head and heart. That violence begets violence.

I was also bashed by a nun at school -aged 10-11. A sister was molested by a priest,a brother by a Brother at his school. You may have lived a sheltered life, that's good, but that's not other peoples' reality!

"I just hate what too many of them do! I also get angry when people defend them - in this case, three blokes"

Care to defend that particularly vile claim? A reference for each of those you are accusing to show where we have defended abusive men should cover it.

R0bert

@RObert -By putting up arguments that just don't comply with the actual history and facts of DV-all the 'yes buts' for example. Would you take that attitude with other crimes of violence, such as break and enter with violence; bashing up an elderly woman in her home; bank robberies, car thefts and break ins. Why so much 'attitude' re DV!Setting aside one day re WRD and and another 15 days in order to change peoples' attitudes to women and stop the violence should be encouraged by all decent people. The 'yes buts' are an attempt to make the issue less serious than it is.
The following was found to be the basis of men's violence towards women.(Vic.Health Dept).
However, researchers have found that men who abuse family members often:

Use violence and emotional abuse to control their families.
Believe that they have the right to behave in whatever way they choose while in their own home.
Think that a ‘real’ man should be tough, powerful and the head of the household. They may believe that they should make most of the decisions, including about how money is spent.
Believe that men are entitled to sex from their partners.
Don’t take responsibility for their behaviour and prefer to think that loved ones or circumstances provoked their behaviour.
Make excuses for their violence: for example, they will blame alcohol or stress.
Report ‘losing control’ when angry around their families, but can control their anger around other people. They don’t tend to use violence in other situations: for example, around friends, bosses, work colleagues or the police.
Try to minimise, blame others for, justify or deny their use of violence, or the impact of their violence towards women and children.

This has been my experience also!