Liz

I am genuinely sorry to hear of your experience. I believe you when you say that you have been in a very troubled relationship. I genuinely hope that posting has helped you.

My issue is that DV is always portrayed as being similar to your case. Please try to understand that many other people's experiences are quite different to yours. Simply wearing little white ribbons that ask him to stop won't stop reciprocal DV any more than they would have stopped your ex.

@benk -There's more to WRD than just wearing 'little white ribbons'?The wearing of the ribbon by men tells other men, that they won't commit violence, won't excuse violence, and won't remain silent about violence towards women.
In my area, we were out there in the public eye in two adjoining cities,followed by a 'get together'in one of the large clubs with speakers etc-the attendance was really great.We have at least two people attached to our police service; a group with a police person as co-ordinator,and guest speakers from places like the rape crisis centre, different community based support networks etc.The atmosphere is quite exciting as the networks are really achieving great things. There's been millions invested by the Rudd govt,the "Staying Home Leaving Violence" program of the NSW govt. Only yesterday,there was a media release re funding for local community centres re educational tools.
The UN has 16 days of awareness program which concludes tomorrow, Human Rights Day. DV is a human rights issue.
Yesterday there was a report released re the profile of rapists-this after following up about 30? rape victims. Today on ABC AM (listen online)was a disturbing report re police attitudes to rape victims - women who are wearing 'skimpy' clothing or affected by alcohol are deemed by detectives to not have the same credibility as those who aren't in this category. IT SHOULDN'T BLOODY WELL MATTER WHAT THE VICTIM WEARS! Elderly women are raped and bashed - in their beds sometimes.
This attitude was prevalent in the 60's - I get despondent when I realise,that to some men, women are just 'commodities' judged on some 'storeroom' mentality.There is a lot more to do!
DV is destructive for victims, sometimes for a life time.
Your view removes the day by day wearing down, the destruction of self esteem and confidence - and that is the perp's intention.
There's a very good book called, 'But He Says He Loves Me' worth a read into the psyche of perps - one side is from their perspective,the other is advice for women-written by a Psychologist who's counselled both!

@RObert-You're the one who's been one sided.I've never said that men are not abused by their partners, but the stats are so one sided,that denying them is both petulant and hurtful. It's not JUST MY experience that has formed my views-I speak to Counsellors,the police people attached to our twin city police command-one is the Co-ordinator of the local COmmittee. There's all the stats on every website of every State's health dept.
The fact that there's a woman murdered approx every 10 days in this country by her partner via DV-show me the comparable men's stats.There's the fact that women who suffer DV are more likely to have an abortion; can suffer a range of medical conditions including migraine, gastrointestinal and gynaecological conditions, stress etc. Midwives speak of women with boot print marks on their pregnant bellies. I have a friend who works in an abortion clinic and the bashed women she sees are horrifying.
Sadly, too many men still believe,that they're the king of their castle;that they're owed sex; that using physical force is a sign of being tough, and that women are inferior anyway, and that they MUST control her and the family to fulfill?Who knows!
Too many don't see they have a problem, and until they do they just go on to the next woman and behave in the same way. Only 7 yrs ago,my ex denied that he'd done those things,why should he tell his chn the truth, and threatened me - again! He could "talk to people"?
Ask yourself how you'd feel, if a bloke much bigger and stronger than you was whacking you, demeaning and embarrassing you in front of your friends etc, and you lived in fear each day. It's called empathy! Have a shot at it!
I'm now going to take my mate shopping!

Ir's now become clear why Liz has no "inclination" to conrtaminate her mind with facts: she's a member of the WRD rabble.

'nuff said, really.

Never let a fact stand in the way of a good bit of self-promoting is the WRD philosophy, as I understand it.

Liz45, in the melange of male misbehaviours you rant on about you haven't mentioned the drink spiking epidemic. I heard them saying on radio not all that long ago, that there were approx 20 women going to the emergency ward of the small local hospital every Thursday night suffering from the effects of having their drinks spiked. The issue seemed to come out of nowhere and not much later disappeared overnight. As a mischievous male I was always waiting for them to convict the first perp. in the jurisdiction but it never happened as far as I know. As an expert on male misbehaviour can you explain to us what happened there?

Liz

It isn't enough for us to express sorrow about what you say happened to you.
It isn't enough for us to search for solutions, abeit different solutions to yours.

You insist that we have to adopt your view of DV, where violent men bash poor innocent women. This discredited view of DV isn't an attempt to understand a problem in order to fix it. It is an attempt by women to use DV as a tool to stake a claim on the high moral ground in the battle of the sexes.

It also represents an attempt to give female DV participants more power. Male participants in DV feel the wrath of public opinion. Female participants are showered with sympathy. Your model of DV represents an attempt to give women the same sort of control over men that you accuse men of wielding.