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The Forum > Article Comments > 'I’m staring at your t*ts': why sexual harassment in the workplace continues > Comments

'I’m staring at your t*ts': why sexual harassment in the workplace continues : Comments

By Melinda Tankard Reist, published 7/6/2010

How ‘playing the game’ contributes to a hostile working environment for women.

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If women want to stop this type of sexual harassment, there is only one course of action. Never, ever...ever reward this behaviour with sex. At the moment, this behaviour is unacceptable from unattractive men, but the exact same behaviour seems to be OK if the guy is more attractive. What is more, the only way for guys to find out if we are attractive enough is to try our luck.

Judging the same behaviour by different moral standards is immoral and unworkable.
Posted by benk, Monday, 7 June 2010 8:57:57 AM
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This article starts with a valid issue and many thanks to Graham Young for publishing this article. I often disagree with MTR - however, I have no doubt that many will understand her concerns with sexual harassment as she has expressed them here.

Only recently we debated Jason Akermanis' feelings on having openly gay men in the change rooms of sport facilities, many other men identified with him stating how uncomfortable they would feel under the gaze of gays.

Therefore, I am sure these same men who understand being subjected to sexual assessment, will empathise with MTR and the blatant behaviour of some men in the workplace.

Where MTR loses me in her article is the switch to emphasis on working mothers. I am aware that juggling parenthood and work hours is often fraught and precarious. I see separate issues here one being workplace harassment, the other being a flexible work environment. MTR does herself a disservice by switching topics, earning her no credibility among those who may have understood sexual harassment (those who feel as Akermanis does) to a rant on work/family balance.

MTR - can do better:

5/10
Posted by Severin, Monday, 7 June 2010 9:14:06 AM
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When will these women get over themselves? They write this rubbish, then complain when people, including most women, refuse to take them seriously.

If women don't want men to stare at their t*ts, they could start by not wearing poke out bras, & low cut tops.

Oh, of course, that would be infringing on their liberty, to have to take some resposibility for others response, to what they wear.

[Deleted for abuse].

Might not be a bad thing if they knocked the chip off her sholder, as she went to the kitchen.
Posted by Hasbeen, Monday, 7 June 2010 10:27:15 AM
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I'm glad it wasn't just me, Severin.

>>MTR does herself a disservice by switching topics<<

Apart from simply listening sympathetically to a bar-room moan about the boorish behaviour of men in general, what were we asked to learn from the piece?

Ms Tankard Rice accepts that the behaviour is unlawful, to the point of linking to the Sex Discrimination Act of 1984. It isn't entirely clear what more she believes can and should be done about the problem, given that it is already illegal.

"I’m not saying it’s easy to speak out, and often there are repercussions for doing so. But when women don’t object, it just means men continue to get away with “staring at your tits” and even admitting to it openly. Is wanting to get ahead worth putting up with this?"

That is a very good question, of course, but one that may only be answered at an individual level.

I suppose one parallel would be extortion. Threatening to burn down a shop if you fail to pay protection money, or tell the police about it, is illegal. But what exactly would any of us do, if someone actually walked in and offered "protection"?

You and I may well ask, as Ms Tankard Rice does, "Is it worth putting up with this?", but only the individual can make that very tricky decision.

And it is also all very well for us to agree, wholeheartedly, with her assessment of the solution...

>>If sexual harassment and objectification of female employees is going to stop, women need to take up their lawful rights and speak out. And they need to be supported, not penalised for doing so<<

... but then, we are not the ones who have to stand by and watch their shop burn down.
Posted by Pericles, Monday, 7 June 2010 10:33:11 AM
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Profuse apologies: Ms Tankard Reist, of course, not Tankard Rice...
Posted by Pericles, Monday, 7 June 2010 10:35:00 AM
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Thanks for your understanding, Pericles.

Any type of workplace harassment, be it sexual or other is, as you have pointed out, illegal. And like bullying, very difficult to prove. MTR continues to alienate both women and men with her narrow perspective on workplace issues. Fact is most heterosexual males look at "tits" and most do it discreetly; they're only human. What this has to do with single working mothers, I'm not sure. I do know that bullying causes stress on any worker, irrespective of their marital status and whether or not they have children.
Posted by Severin, Monday, 7 June 2010 10:43:51 AM
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