Ttbn, I’m not attacking men in general, just wondering why any man would let his girlfriend walk home alone in the dark.
Mind you, in these days of equality, I guess there is no need for gallantry. Women wanted equality, I guess walking yourself home is part of the deal.

Dear Big Nana,

Yes that's all well and good. However there's more to it
than that. The assumption that for women to remain safe
they must watch what they wear, what they say, and what
they do - seems a bit like passing the buck onto the
victims.

Women
already carry keys in their hands, calling
friends when walking alone at night, and so on. It should
not just be up to women to modify their behaviour - what is
needed is to look at men's toxic behaviour as well.

Toxic behaviour
does not just manifest itself one day out of nowhere. It's
cultivated and needs to be dismantled. Yes sure, we know that
not all men rape and murder women. Nobody is claiming that
they do. However men need to call it out - when sexist jokes
and disrespect for women - attitudes are being displayed.
The message needs to be put out there that this sort of
behaviour will not be tolerated. That sort of aggression is
not acceptable or condoned. And for this dismantling to occur
we need men to be part of the solution. Women can't do it
alone.

I agree that events like murder should get us thinking about how our society produces people (mainly men) twisted enough to kill. However, I believe that men and women contribute equally to the problem and everyone needs to present a united front against social pressure for men to be rough, tough and macho.

For a start, murdered women are front page news, as long as they are attractive and middle class. Men are murdered twice as often, but are less newsworthy. Missing white woman syndrome, as it is known, reinforces traditional views about gender.

Most serial killers have over-bearing mothers and absent fathers. Many hate women as a proxy for their own mother. They aren't sexist simply because of the blokes at the pub. I acknowledge that the absent father let them down just as much, but their mothers are a major part of the problem. Maybe Runner is right on this and dads can be protective factors.

Most of men's violence is aimed at other men. You will often see two men punching on and several people who have stirred things up. These other people are women just as often as they are men. Some people can excuse violence away when it is convenient.

Some of men's violence, such as DV, is aimed at women. If Mr and Mrs Jones have a domestic and they are both violent, as is often the case, they should be judged to the same standard. However, society in general and feminists in particular socialise people to assume women are victims, while the men are the lowest of the low. Furthermore, when MRAs like myself raise the issue, people who think they are feminists attempt to shame us for not being real men.

1/2

Even we talk about men's violence against ourselves (suicide), we see the same thing. I accept that many men need to get better at expressing our feelings. However, there is this social construction called the empathy gap, which works against men who do talk about their problems. Women, including feminists, can be very dismissive of men who seek a bit of sympathy. It often seems as though there are female victims and male losers.

Foxy, you usually seem very reasonable. These criticisms aren't aimed at you in particular. However other women do just as much as men in reinforcing traditional gender roles that contributed, in part, to the awful events of last weekend.

2/2

There will be many more of these awful incidents in the future. More women will be raped and have their lives ruined; others will be raped and lose their lives. And, after each incident, the same codswallop will be expressed here, in the media, and by ineffectual politicians.

Whatever has happened in the past when a rapist has been convicted will happen again this time. It will not bring back the victim back; it will not deter other rapists. The complete misunderstanding of what rape is all about, the insistence on unenforceable 'rights’, and the refusal of some women to accept that it is not safe for them to do certain things because they are women, is ensuring rape and possible murder will always be waiting for the unwary, the stupid and the arrogant. It is extremely depressing.

ttbn, quite right.
I read the comments and see the same old same old.
Forget this notion of educating males.
That is a narrow and quite frankly, shallow view of the situation.
Rapists are flawed mentally and emotionally.
Who cares?
I care more about the fact that we cannot identify one when we look around us.
Rape is part of an animals make-up, it's in our DNA.
Over time homo-sapiens have suppressed that particular act to the point where it is non-existent these days.
However, as we can see it surfaces every now and then.
I am offended at the suggestion that I and every other man have to change our way of thinking because we are proven instruments of rape.
Personally, I have been curious how a man can still perform (sexually) when he is struggling with the other person.
Not being a rapist, I find it incredible.
It has been said this act is arousing to rapists.
You have to be sick if you can perform under these aggressive conditions.
So let's get one thing straight.
MEN, are not rapists.
Rapists are mostly men.
All men are not sick.
Rapists are sick.
Now let's turn to the women.
In my many years on this earth I have watched while the real marsh-mellows of this world have taken over.
One of the worst things they have done was to promote women as being equals and changing the way we all think and act.
In promoting equality and therefore greater freedoms for women, they forgot to write a manual on their terms of reference.
Over time I see women trying to outdo men, in every endeavour.
The one they really took on board was drinking, as is continually being broadcast on TV and newspapers and so on.
Where-as the men have always been the drunken out of control slobs, the women were more mature and composed and looked on in disgust, and rightly so.
Well I'm sorry folks, but the women of today have embraised that filthy and disgusting lifestyle of the men of yesteryear and here we are today.