Once Again - I hope that you will all enjoy
this Christmas celebration
And All The Best for the New Year 2018!

Foxy, "anal sex is not limited to gays"

Again, it is entirely misleading and wrong to imply as this does, that heterosexual women are willing parties, seeking and appreciating anal penetration.

In fact the reverse seems to be true and women are being sexually bullied and abused, as already discussed in previous posts. -Posts that were in response to another poster's statement, page 17, where the same misleading bald statement was made without necessary qualification.

It was not a subject that I raised and it would be a travesty, despicable, if such an impression was allowed to stand when so many women and girls are being treated so abominably.

It is a disturbing read,
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/11554595/Pornography-has-changed-the-landscape-of-adolescence-beyond-all-recognition.html?placement=CB3

leoj,

Give it a rest - nobody is implying anything of
the kind.

Start your own thread on the subject. Leave mine
alone!

leoj,

Earlier on page 17, ALTRAV had indicated that *if* heterosexuals had anal sex he would be the first to condemn (though he lacks the guts to confront). It is not an "if". His position since is that he is somehow an expert on something he had not been aware existed just a few hours earlier. Your own position is similarly (and transparently) ignorant. You harp on as if no anal sex exists that is not coerced. Some is not, granted, but you have not disentangled this from other coerced sexual activity. Given that only about half to a third of all attempts lead to any sort of repetition makes it clear that a great many are experimentation and voluntary. Quite aside from that I know two couples who do do so as part of their normal activities, so your hypothesis that coercion is the *only* motivator is crap. You may know some too, though you may not be a fit person for them to confide in.

The harms you mention include some serious matters and are a strong argument for better and more thorough sexual education. Some of the saddest stories in sexual health include older couples who had no idea they were doing it wrong and no normalised avenues for seeking advice. One horrific example was a childless woman who had been enduring painful urethral intercourse for years yet whose husband, like some present, was "certain" he knew all he needed.

Like surgery, ask those who do it routinely for advice, not those who never heard about it till three days ago. Like driving, those who have never practiced on dirt roads or skid pans have no idea what to do when they *do* start to slide.

Since both heterosexuals and homosexuals have anal sex, and since none of them are inviting you to join them, it is hardly a problem is it?

Your own marriages remain unaffected, just as they were unaffected by *other people's* sex practices just a short fortnight ago.

Rusty

Rusty Catheter, "You harp on as if no anal sex exists that is not coerced"

That is your straw man.

This was my reply to ALTRAV,

"Very few women would choose anal sex and for all sorts of valid reasons. They are being bullied and (emotionally) blackmailed into it by selfish, risk-taking men who have no regard whatsoever for the woman's feelings, preferences and welfare. The men are being influenced mainly by the porn industry. Although the abuse of women by not allowing them proper access to cheap and reliable contraception is also a factor.

Parents, particularly mothers, cannot rely on government any more to do the right thing. Mothers must take it upon themselves to prepare and arm their daughters from an early age with defences against the deceitful, risky, creeps who would lie to them and pressure them into anal sex. Girls and young women have to support one another with the necessary intel and advice to be proactive with a flat 'NO!' from the outset.
Posted by leoj, Thursday, 14 December 2017 12:34:35 PM

I linked to this news report that cited its reputable source, the British Medical Journal.
http://metro.co.uk/2017/07/18/teenage-girls-pressured-into-painful-and-coercive-anal-sex-because-of-porn-6788524/?ito=cbshare

I could have added the involvement of illegal drugs, prostitution and other nasties that boost those anal sex numbers you quoted for heterosexual women.

Anal sex seems to be all about men, wouldn't you say and women are getting the usual bum deal. It is most unlikely that anywhere near a majority of those women who reported having anal sex actually sought and enjoyed it. And what about all of those 'slips'?

So what exactly is to be gained and by whom by pretending that a sizeable proportion of heterosexual women are willing and appreciative 'bum' girls. It is not that way at all now is it?

leoj,

*Your* fallacy is that "Very few women would choose anal sex".
More than you think do, and it is clear they would not tell you.
I know it for a fact that some do, and they have considerable capacity to enforce their own preferences, being financially and domestically independent.
Just as in homosexual couples, people are not stopping because you say so. Perhaps they feel that proper preparation and lubrication minimises harm. Perhaps they have information not known to the bible-belt porn watcher who has no idea.

Given that people are allowed to choose to harm themselves with tobacco, perhaps they really have a right to do other things that you do not like.

The scenario *you* paint is common to all sorts of coerced sex. If you are concerned about it, you need to make realistic suggestions. Policing and enforcing a prohibition? Already a failure.
As you suggest, there may be unreasonable male expectations. Another commenter is entranced by the "alpha male" myth and I think it is exactly this mentality that is the most likely offender.

How about genuine support and services to help people who *are* coerced, that take their allegations seriously and are funded to provide alternatives for people who may perceive they have none. Good crisis care, accommodation, support in leaving an abuser and non-judgemental medical help.
Proper sex ed that includes, yes, warnings, but also advice on how *to* and on legal rights.

These help people across the board. Just saying "don't" won't work any better than it did for the ciggys.

In any case, the male homosexuals seeking marriage do not seem to be quaking in their boots at the prospect, nor giving a stuff about your own dire warnings. Perhaps it is not as bad as you think?

Rusty.