Pelican:"There is a greater distance between children and parent"

That distance has also been created by such things as "The UN Convention on the Rights of the Child", which has undermined the basis for adult authority by placing the minor hurt of a child's immediate sense of shame or guilt or pain that might result from punishment at higher priority than the benefit that the child might gain from being punished and learning the lesson the punishment was intended to teach. So we have schools whose only serious punishment option is suspension or expulsion, neither of which does anything to address the actual needs of the child, but it's all good, the "Rights" are being preserved.

By undermining the basis of the contract between adults and children, we have created a generation of more-or-less "feral" children, who simply have no respect for authority because authority has never imposed itelf upon them except in ways that seem arbitrary or disruptive or as a vast, amorphous threat.

I've had the recent experience of my 14 year old daughter, upon being told that something wasn't a good idea tell me "I trust my judgement", as though that ended the matter. I'm sure you can imagine what sort of response that particular pearl received...

I'm with Belly - there is too much angry language being used on this thread. At the moment I'm judging it to be under the level of "abusive", but as various members add to it collectively it is getting to the level where it makes the thread unpleasant.

So, unless the level of aggro is stepped down I will start deleting posts.

I agree with the fact that peoples opinions are being shouted down by the righteous, I posted on another thread some time ago, that according to the ancient philosopher(s), "Every thing is right, and everything is wrong", that, my overzealous posters is the nub of it, because everything is right/wrong, according to your own point of view, to which, my friends, we are all of us entitled.
Now you can all go and 'have a Bex and a good lay down'
Lexi, you have done well with your posting, your intelligence and willingness to accept others' points of view is outstanding.
NSB

PS All of you/us, who think that we should be disciplining our kids are quite right, and I applaud those of us who do (a slap on the rump is not, I repeat not, a crime,) when the kids get older, and you can reason with them, then, until you can, slap 'em and ground 'em.

Dear Noisy Scrub Bird,

Thank You for your kind words.
At present I've got my 18 month year old grandson
for the day - since early this morning. My daughter-in-law
is expecting another in October and she's caught a bit of
gastro by the sound of it. She rang us early and asked if we
could help her out. I've managed to get the bub down for a nap.
So here I am trying to relax a bit. Later on we'll go for
a walk and then I'll make dinner for everyone. My son can
take some of it home for his wife and try to get her to eat
something.

The UK riots are quite distressing. I read a bit of the
Herald Sun newspaper yesterday and it seems that there is
a racial element involved in them as well.

I guess its easy enough for us to judge - but as I wrote
earlier, I think you'd have to actually live in the areas
to fully appreciate the problems that people encounter on
a daily basis.

As for raising children - every parent I know
lives with the uneasy sense that their children are growing
up too fast, without clear values or a real code to live by.
While we spin our wheels worrying about - "reading, writing,
and arithmetic," our children may be missing the "real
basics" like - respect, loyalty, and a sense of fair play.
Survey after survey shows that our children who will be the
best educated and most privileged in human history, what is
therefore important is the content of our children's hearts
and minds, or what is often described as character.
When we say, "It's what's inside that counts," we speak a simple
but profound truth. I view my job as a parent - to try and raise
a decent human being. So far I've been lucky - my sons have
turned out beautifully - and I'm very proud of them.

Dear Lexi,
I hope you are coping well enough with your grand-daughter.
Yes, we were brought up in a respectful way, and good manners and respect for each other was taught at a very early age., society in those days required high standards, and I am glad that they did. We raised our children as we were raised, and it didn't do any harm. Of course there were a few tricky moments when our eldest became a teenager and wanted to grow up too quickly. But the nice thing is that , our strict, but loving ways are now being echoed by my three children towards their own children....so I guess that it all rubbed off. Back in the UK, growing up, we had to be good, because if we didn't, our step-father meted out some pretty harsh punishment, we were too scared to do anything wrong.
Have yourself a lovely weekend with your Son and baby.
Cheers Lexi,
Don't bow down to the detractors on this forum, they are too crass for my likes.
NSB

Lexi, (P.S.)
Yes, we really need to walk in the shoes of the disadvantaged to appreciated it all, my make-up tends to defend them, as compassion plays a big part in my life. It is usually adverse circumstances which creates certain behaviours, it is easy to for some Australians to pass judgement when we live in the "Lucky Country".
NSB